It became a refrain. Whenever they disagreed, whenever Castiel had to deny him the immediate satisfaction of saving the girl or not watching the town burn, Dean would turn to him and say, "Cas, don't do this. I know you. You know this is wrong."
The I know you grated on his patience. It jarred his moral core. It was one thing for Dean to try to convince him of his foolish mortal logic, a point of view that saw no farther than its own horizons. But for him to be so presumptuous as to assume that Castiel had already agreed with him, that he was just holding Dean back out of some sort of stubborn pride, or, worse, malice-- it was more than Castiel could take silently.
So this time, when he stayed Dean's hand and allowed the demon to run free, he was ready for the assault.
"It's a demon. You're an angel. How can you just let him get away? I know you. I can see in your face that don't want to do that. I know--"
"You don't know me." Castiel had seldom raised his voice before but now he thundered, shoved Dean backward. "You only think you know me, but you don't have a clue. Don't have any idea what I feel, or think. You couldn't begin to comprehend the things I have to face."
"You're right. I can't," Dean said, and his boots stamped on the dusty ground. "I don't know what it's like to be an angel. But you've been darkening my door every other day now with your prophecies of doom, and I'd sure as hell like to think I've put up with you long enough to know you just a little. So get off your goddamned high horse and just admit it."
"And if I don't?"
"Then you're not the guy I thought you were."
He sounded so disappointed. For an instant, Castiel wanted to reassure him, to admit to everything he didn't dare even think, to tell Dean what he couldn't yet admit to himself.
Instead, he stared at him coldly. "That's exactly right," he said. "You only thought you knew me."
Re: angstee!ladywilde80December 3 2009, 17:55:29 UTC
Oh god, you are sucking me into this pairing hardcore with all this crazy good angst. I really love this - after I gave you the prompt, I felt kind of bad because it wasn't something that I myself would have found easy to write and yet, you did it so quickly and so beautifully.
LOVED IT! The way you write these two is just so spot on. ^_^
The I know you grated on his patience. It jarred his moral core. It was one thing for Dean to try to convince him of his foolish mortal logic, a point of view that saw no farther than its own horizons. But for him to be so presumptuous as to assume that Castiel had already agreed with him, that he was just holding Dean back out of some sort of stubborn pride, or, worse, malice-- it was more than Castiel could take silently.
So this time, when he stayed Dean's hand and allowed the demon to run free, he was ready for the assault.
"It's a demon. You're an angel. How can you just let him get away? I know you. I can see in your face that don't want to do that. I know--"
"You don't know me." Castiel had seldom raised his voice before but now he thundered, shoved Dean backward. "You only think you know me, but you don't have a clue. Don't have any idea what I feel, or think. You couldn't begin to comprehend the things I have to face."
"You're right. I can't," Dean said, and his boots stamped on the dusty ground. "I don't know what it's like to be an angel. But you've been darkening my door every other day now with your prophecies of doom, and I'd sure as hell like to think I've put up with you long enough to know you just a little. So get off your goddamned high horse and just admit it."
"And if I don't?"
"Then you're not the guy I thought you were."
He sounded so disappointed. For an instant, Castiel wanted to reassure him, to admit to everything he didn't dare even think, to tell Dean what he couldn't yet admit to himself.
Instead, he stared at him coldly. "That's exactly right," he said. "You only thought you knew me."
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LOVED IT! The way you write these two is just so spot on. ^_^
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