(no subject)
I can't write this in my myspace because I am suspicious of a lurker(s) who might read this. But to be honest, I'm slowly losing my mind. This beautiful girl wants my boyfriend and he confessed it to me, plus it doesnt help that he also confessed to having a huge crush on her right before he met me. Seriously, how can I just sit back and embrace trust and optimism when she's so much prettier than me, and not to mention a party girl (which I can only assume means slut)? I dont like this paranoid feeling. I don't like worrying every day that my heart could be broken. It fucking sucks and I don't know how to get this shit out of my mind. I want to embrace indifference. And now this paranoia has driven me to just do something I never thought I would do. It was minimal, but wrong and it says alot about how crazy I truly am. I regret it instantly, even though I just did it 5 minutes ago. Sometimes I wish I didnt have a heart.