Every little thing reminds me I'm alone..
I realize its been a long time since I updated anything on here. Lately..I've been hanging out with my friends literally as much as possible. I'm very rarely home.. mom doesn't like the fact that I'm always gone.. and that I generally stay up all night.. but I'm just trying to live it up before I start school again.
As you noticed, my subject line says "every little thing reminds me I'm alone..." It's definitely true. It seems like no matter what I do.. no matter who I'm with.. it just hits me in the face. Fuck reality. I get on MSN and what do I see.. screen names saying "I love..." fill in the blank with just about anybody's name. I watch t.v. or a movie.. and its the same thing.. there's always at least one couple. When I'm with my friends, their significant other is either around.. or calls, and lets not forget about the "benefriends." It's getting a little ridiculous.
I almost forgot to mention my siblings. My sister is married.. and my brother has been with Kayla for almost 2 years. My longest relationship was a frickin month.
I think I'm getting a little bit discouraged. I mean.. I can never seem to find anyone.. and when I do.. it just doesn't work.. for whatever reason. Maybe everybody at Orchard was right.. maybe I am intimidating. I know I'm definitely no where near being "hott," but I'm also not the ugliest thing on this earth.. so why can't I be happy.. for once?
Maybe I'm single because right now is not a good time for me to be in a relationship.. but nevertheless.. i still desperately want to be with someone. I want it to be my turn.. for once..
*sigh* I just dont know anymore...
As you noticed, my subject line says "every little thing reminds me I'm alone..." It's definitely true. It seems like no matter what I do.. no matter who I'm with.. it just hits me in the face. Fuck reality. I get on MSN and what do I see.. screen names saying "I love..." fill in the blank with just about anybody's name. I watch t.v. or a movie.. and its the same thing.. there's always at least one couple. When I'm with my friends, their significant other is either around.. or calls, and lets not forget about the "benefriends." It's getting a little ridiculous.
I almost forgot to mention my siblings. My sister is married.. and my brother has been with Kayla for almost 2 years. My longest relationship was a frickin month.
I think I'm getting a little bit discouraged. I mean.. I can never seem to find anyone.. and when I do.. it just doesn't work.. for whatever reason. Maybe everybody at Orchard was right.. maybe I am intimidating. I know I'm definitely no where near being "hott," but I'm also not the ugliest thing on this earth.. so why can't I be happy.. for once?
Maybe I'm single because right now is not a good time for me to be in a relationship.. but nevertheless.. i still desperately want to be with someone. I want it to be my turn.. for once..
*sigh* I just dont know anymore...