(no subject)
His stocking isn’t there anymore. I don’t know what to think of it. I only know that it has tightened my mask. A mask that has never seen Christmas. I just realized that it has been suffocating me. It has covered up everything that should be important right now. His chair isn’t there anymore also. I liked him sitting in that chair. He sits in it somewhere else. Somewhere I can’t appreciate it. I’ve lost all faith, and I don’t seem to care. I just ignore everything now. I have given up on big efforts. I should have made a bigger one then. I should make a bigger one now. I try too, but I am overwhelmed. I don’t want to feel this at Christmas.