today, he is 24.
happy birthday, henry.
i dont think anyone reads this anymore, so now i can start writing in it. it's been ignored, and pushed to the side long enuff, that i'm not afraid to say what i feel anymore.
just as i open up this entry, things just get worse. ian wants my baby lac. he's ganan pay for it and ima pay off my credit card bill. henry wants it too, tho. the day that henry told me he wanted it, and had money for it, i called my dad and he goes "oh, well i already promised it to ian." FUCK.
fuck. fuck.
fuck. fuck.
there's so many things going on, and going thru my head right now, that i cant even say what i want to. i dont know where to start, where to end, my mind skips subjects.
henry's new girlfriend suposidly thinks i'm pretty and says things like "what are you doing w/ me? she's so pretty and she wants YOU" shit like that. but i dont know if i'm buyin' it. i think he just says that she says things like that to keep me from starting shit and causing scenes. god i love that guy. wtf is wrong w/ me? ian is treating me like shit, and henry just isnt intrested in me anymore. dosent love me. i think about him every day, and all he does is kiss on his new THING. he says the relationship is a pretty dry one. now mollie is ganan be mean to me, and hate me-beucase ian and i arent together. i dont know why ian's descisions about me should influence her, or effect her in any way. the only reason why ian is still around right now is because he wants my lac. MY FUCKING BABY LAC. he dosetn deserve it. is my ac fixed? no. u know what? i'm not giving him the title until it's payed off. i'm not signing the title over to him until it is payed for IN FULL. fuck that shit. fuck him. he's such an asshold. calls me a ho n shit. says he wants to pass me around the clique cuz "that's what you do with ho's" fuck him. fuck that. fuck that. fuck that. fuck fuck fuck.
i have a bactierial infection. i hope my mom goes and picks up my perscription.
the fact on if i am pregnant or not-is still questionable. but i always think i'm pregnant-so i'm really not too worried about it.
i got a job at planet beach tanning salon in cedar park off cypress. it's fun. easy. something i wanna do this time. i get to tan FO FREE and i love it. doctors n shit say that tanning makes people happy. it increases sex hormones and happy hormones too. :D so that's always a good thing. the uv rays are good for ur skin, actually.
i swear to god. ima kill them all.
i've got such a long shit list...it's crazy. ryan's party bardge thing is tomorrow night. but i dont know if i'm welcome. i got invited, but i got invited as the other half of the couple that WAS me and ian. so am i still invited if ian and i arent together anymore? what if ian shows up there, and i show up there, how uncomfortable will that be? i just need to get fucked up tonight. shit-faced-drunk is what i fucking need. no, no, what i need is henry tonight. it's his birtihday and it's killing me to not be with him right now. really , it's eating me up inside. my love for him seems to be uncondional. kinda like my love for danielle was.
unconditional.
but we are living proof that, nothing last forever.
and we are living proof of pluto's phrase saying: love is the graved diesase of the mind
i dont think anyone reads this anymore, so now i can start writing in it. it's been ignored, and pushed to the side long enuff, that i'm not afraid to say what i feel anymore.
just as i open up this entry, things just get worse. ian wants my baby lac. he's ganan pay for it and ima pay off my credit card bill. henry wants it too, tho. the day that henry told me he wanted it, and had money for it, i called my dad and he goes "oh, well i already promised it to ian." FUCK.
fuck. fuck.
fuck. fuck.
there's so many things going on, and going thru my head right now, that i cant even say what i want to. i dont know where to start, where to end, my mind skips subjects.
henry's new girlfriend suposidly thinks i'm pretty and says things like "what are you doing w/ me? she's so pretty and she wants YOU" shit like that. but i dont know if i'm buyin' it. i think he just says that she says things like that to keep me from starting shit and causing scenes. god i love that guy. wtf is wrong w/ me? ian is treating me like shit, and henry just isnt intrested in me anymore. dosent love me. i think about him every day, and all he does is kiss on his new THING. he says the relationship is a pretty dry one. now mollie is ganan be mean to me, and hate me-beucase ian and i arent together. i dont know why ian's descisions about me should influence her, or effect her in any way. the only reason why ian is still around right now is because he wants my lac. MY FUCKING BABY LAC. he dosetn deserve it. is my ac fixed? no. u know what? i'm not giving him the title until it's payed off. i'm not signing the title over to him until it is payed for IN FULL. fuck that shit. fuck him. he's such an asshold. calls me a ho n shit. says he wants to pass me around the clique cuz "that's what you do with ho's" fuck him. fuck that. fuck that. fuck that. fuck fuck fuck.
i have a bactierial infection. i hope my mom goes and picks up my perscription.
the fact on if i am pregnant or not-is still questionable. but i always think i'm pregnant-so i'm really not too worried about it.
i got a job at planet beach tanning salon in cedar park off cypress. it's fun. easy. something i wanna do this time. i get to tan FO FREE and i love it. doctors n shit say that tanning makes people happy. it increases sex hormones and happy hormones too. :D so that's always a good thing. the uv rays are good for ur skin, actually.
i swear to god. ima kill them all.
i've got such a long shit list...it's crazy. ryan's party bardge thing is tomorrow night. but i dont know if i'm welcome. i got invited, but i got invited as the other half of the couple that WAS me and ian. so am i still invited if ian and i arent together anymore? what if ian shows up there, and i show up there, how uncomfortable will that be? i just need to get fucked up tonight. shit-faced-drunk is what i fucking need. no, no, what i need is henry tonight. it's his birtihday and it's killing me to not be with him right now. really , it's eating me up inside. my love for him seems to be uncondional. kinda like my love for danielle was.
unconditional.
but we are living proof that, nothing last forever.
and we are living proof of pluto's phrase saying: love is the graved diesase of the mind