(no subject)
Six pounds, 14 ounzes of pure, blissful, perfection. I used to think, you can't love something within moments...it takes time to grow to love someone. This, this though I had is total crap. The moment I set eyes apon this flawless piece of heaven I was in love. All ten fingers, and all ten toes, one little button nose, and two big, beautiful eyes. Child I want soooo much for you; I want to give you the world...but shelter you from it's pain. I want to be the best person I can for you kiddo. You can run to me, when Mommy and Daddy wont give you one extra cookie, I'll always have one waiting for you little princess. I want to spoil you rotten, you are such a little angel. When I walked in the room and layed eyes apon her...it litterally took my breath away, such a tiny thing...i didn't want to hold her for fear that she might break...but i just wanted to squeeze her and never let go. Precious child you deserver everything...I thank the Lord you are healthy. The feeling I have is so...so...indescribable.
My heart it is so full, bursting with happiness. I've prayed for this child since I knew it existed...and in a loose term...it all payed off. She is perfection wrapped in a ducky blanket. I've been getting depressed...I've felt like I've been behind in everything...but you know what it doesn't matter none of it matters. To see the look in their eyes when they held her. To see her smile and them, and reach up to touch them...the adoration in my heart. I want one so bad. I know the blood, pain, and everything that goes with it is hell...but that look, that instant love, that need to protect that little creature from anything and everything...i want that. Wow...i've written a lot about her but I could go on forever...
But I will spare you, if you even got this far. You will most definatley hear me talking about it at school...sorry guys...but if only you were there...if only you saw it...if only you knew...you would talk about it too...but yes.
On with business.
I miss you guys, all of you. I never really talk to you guys anymore...it makes me sad...I know part of it is because of Mac...but not all of it...I would drop Mac in a heart beat if it came down to you guys or him. He knows this, I've been really clear with him on this. But you guys I can't make all the effort. I know sometimes I forget to call you guys and stuff...but trust me its not because I don't want too...it's because I seriously forget...its sad really..a whole ton of stuff is always going on its crazy...if i dont write soemthing on my hand I most likely will forget. I have like A.D.D i can't concentrate on anything...and sure! Mac does call and I will get distracted, or my mom will call and I will get distracted but who doesn't get distracted??? I freaking love you guys...and I wish we could hang out more! I wish things could be all neato and fun...like older days...before/after i was in my phase of idiocy...well not idiocy but my growing up phase. I miss the days when we would all go to Jessica's house and do weird things. I feel like I have grown up a lot...But I don't want to grow apart from you guys!!!!
I don't know...I'm doomed to always be the weird girl with like one friend. Its in the genes. Argh parentals and their social outcast-ness.
I'm so tired...hospitals don't make good beds..:S
Oh man I want to highlight some of the awesome things that happened besides the actual baby!
*Abone and I running from my Mom and Jo
"Lets make a break for it..."
"Yeah, I hate stairs! Wait for it...Wait for it...GOOOOO!!!"
>Running to the elevator<
*Rolling around in a wheelchair for like an hour
>Learning how to turn<
>Racing up and down the halls<
*Elijah walking in the waiting Room...
SIGN ON DOOR---> "Do not enter Shower in progress."
>Elijah enters...gets comfy<
"Dude Elijah there is a sign!!!"
"What???..naw man?"
"Yeah!!! look..."
-SHOWER NOISES-
>RUNNNNNNNN<
>Caleb and me laughin soooo hard!!!<
There was other stuff but yeah..
Well I'm done for now...I can't wait to go back to the Hospital and visit Chante...ew. I want to go to a hospital...:| that is some scurry stuff! haha...but yes...i can't wait till she comes home in her cute little outfits..and on she can sleep in her basinet and the glow worm!:D I can't wait!!! I love Babies!!!:D
My heart it is so full, bursting with happiness. I've prayed for this child since I knew it existed...and in a loose term...it all payed off. She is perfection wrapped in a ducky blanket. I've been getting depressed...I've felt like I've been behind in everything...but you know what it doesn't matter none of it matters. To see the look in their eyes when they held her. To see her smile and them, and reach up to touch them...the adoration in my heart. I want one so bad. I know the blood, pain, and everything that goes with it is hell...but that look, that instant love, that need to protect that little creature from anything and everything...i want that. Wow...i've written a lot about her but I could go on forever...
But I will spare you, if you even got this far. You will most definatley hear me talking about it at school...sorry guys...but if only you were there...if only you saw it...if only you knew...you would talk about it too...but yes.
On with business.
I miss you guys, all of you. I never really talk to you guys anymore...it makes me sad...I know part of it is because of Mac...but not all of it...I would drop Mac in a heart beat if it came down to you guys or him. He knows this, I've been really clear with him on this. But you guys I can't make all the effort. I know sometimes I forget to call you guys and stuff...but trust me its not because I don't want too...it's because I seriously forget...its sad really..a whole ton of stuff is always going on its crazy...if i dont write soemthing on my hand I most likely will forget. I have like A.D.D i can't concentrate on anything...and sure! Mac does call and I will get distracted, or my mom will call and I will get distracted but who doesn't get distracted??? I freaking love you guys...and I wish we could hang out more! I wish things could be all neato and fun...like older days...before/after i was in my phase of idiocy...well not idiocy but my growing up phase. I miss the days when we would all go to Jessica's house and do weird things. I feel like I have grown up a lot...But I don't want to grow apart from you guys!!!!
I don't know...I'm doomed to always be the weird girl with like one friend. Its in the genes. Argh parentals and their social outcast-ness.
I'm so tired...hospitals don't make good beds..:S
Oh man I want to highlight some of the awesome things that happened besides the actual baby!
*Abone and I running from my Mom and Jo
"Lets make a break for it..."
"Yeah, I hate stairs! Wait for it...Wait for it...GOOOOO!!!"
>Running to the elevator<
*Rolling around in a wheelchair for like an hour
>Learning how to turn<
>Racing up and down the halls<
*Elijah walking in the waiting Room...
SIGN ON DOOR---> "Do not enter Shower in progress."
>Elijah enters...gets comfy<
"Dude Elijah there is a sign!!!"
"What???..naw man?"
"Yeah!!! look..."
-SHOWER NOISES-
>RUNNNNNNNN<
>Caleb and me laughin soooo hard!!!<
There was other stuff but yeah..
Well I'm done for now...I can't wait to go back to the Hospital and visit Chante...ew. I want to go to a hospital...:| that is some scurry stuff! haha...but yes...i can't wait till she comes home in her cute little outfits..and on she can sleep in her basinet and the glow worm!:D I can't wait!!! I love Babies!!!:D