(no subject)
So, it's new years...My first entry of the year was about the lock in...so this one will be more serious.
3 more semester and I'm a senior.
5 more semester and I'm out of high school.
Out of high school, does anyone get how freaking sad that is! I will probably never see any of my friends again...if we even make it to the end of high school, and if i do see you guys...it will be weird...not the same....no old times...no laughing at silly things...no dancing with you guys to weird non-knowing music...no more. Ugh its so weird...
This is where the saying Bitter-Sweet comes in.
I hate to leave...
I'll miss everyone...
But I can not wait to go.
I have to get out of this town.
I have to!!!
I need to see the world.
Greece, China, Japan, Africa, everywhere...anywhere!
I want to get married to Prince Charming...and have one beautiful kid...and adopt another one.
I want to have a house, with a white picket fence...a big back yard...and a swing set.
I want one old faithful dog...and one purring kitten to snuggle with.
I want to teach my kids to walk, to talk...
I want to instill morals, and values...
I want to hold them and love them...
I want to watch them grow up.
I can't wait for it...
But it wont happen...not for a while...
So I have to sit here and wait and dream, dream about Prince Charming...Dream about happiness.
Sure I'm happy...my family is great...but...
This next year is a fresh start...a new chance at everything...
A chance for love.
A chance for understanding.
A chance for friends.
A chance for family.
A new beginning.
Resolutions...haha, there are so many things I could change about myself...so many things I want different.
I couldn't narrow it down to 1, 2 or even 100.
I want to be different,
I want to love people unconditionally...
Love them no matter what they do or say to me.
I want to be more forgiving...
I want to be more mature.
I want to stay out of the drama of highschool.
I want to be me, no matter where, when or what...Just me.
I want to be faithful,
Devout my life to serving others, serving God.
I want to make my Mom proud.
I want to make my Brother proud.
I want my other brothers to look up to me...I want to be a good example to them.
I want my Dad to be proud.
I want my other Dad to weep, because he gave up such a great family.
I don't want to hate.
I want to help everyone,
I want to do community service.
I want to visit the elderly and sing to them like I used to.
I want to go to camp, for my last year...
I want to recommit myself to God everyday I wake up.
I want to look at colleges, and find one for me.
There are so many more things I want to change, or improve...
Can it be done in a year???
Idk...
It's all so overwhelming...growing up.
Hey call me lazy but I don't want to get a job, I don't want to pay taxes..I don't want to pay a water bill, electric bill, heat bill, ugh everything...I don't want to.
I wanna run,
Into the country side...
And just keep running, and running, and running...
Run till I collapse..
Which will probably not be very far from where I begin running...
I want to hide, hide in a cave...all by my self and talk to my echo.
I want to sing, sing atop a mt.
Sing about Love, sing about Hate, sing about Everything.
I want to skip across the Great Wall of China,
And walk the same walk Jesus walked.
I want to sleep in a tee-pee
And eat out on the range...
I want to swing from tree to tree like a monkey.
And roll around laughing like a Hyena.
All this I want...
But it's so confusing...because I want all that..
But I also want a home..
A nice little white home in the country side...
A home to come to when I'm sick of running, skipping, laughing, and singing.
A home to sleep in.
A home to wake up in,
A home.
See my mind is a dangerous thing...
It doesn't even make sense to me...
I'm not going over what I just wrote...
I'll leave it like it is...
No second guessing...
No changing...
Just like I wrote it...
Straight from my heart.
So none of this will make sense...but hell, do I ever make sense?
3 more semester and I'm a senior.
5 more semester and I'm out of high school.
Out of high school, does anyone get how freaking sad that is! I will probably never see any of my friends again...if we even make it to the end of high school, and if i do see you guys...it will be weird...not the same....no old times...no laughing at silly things...no dancing with you guys to weird non-knowing music...no more. Ugh its so weird...
This is where the saying Bitter-Sweet comes in.
I hate to leave...
I'll miss everyone...
But I can not wait to go.
I have to get out of this town.
I have to!!!
I need to see the world.
Greece, China, Japan, Africa, everywhere...anywhere!
I want to get married to Prince Charming...and have one beautiful kid...and adopt another one.
I want to have a house, with a white picket fence...a big back yard...and a swing set.
I want one old faithful dog...and one purring kitten to snuggle with.
I want to teach my kids to walk, to talk...
I want to instill morals, and values...
I want to hold them and love them...
I want to watch them grow up.
I can't wait for it...
But it wont happen...not for a while...
So I have to sit here and wait and dream, dream about Prince Charming...Dream about happiness.
Sure I'm happy...my family is great...but...
This next year is a fresh start...a new chance at everything...
A chance for love.
A chance for understanding.
A chance for friends.
A chance for family.
A new beginning.
Resolutions...haha, there are so many things I could change about myself...so many things I want different.
I couldn't narrow it down to 1, 2 or even 100.
I want to be different,
I want to love people unconditionally...
Love them no matter what they do or say to me.
I want to be more forgiving...
I want to be more mature.
I want to stay out of the drama of highschool.
I want to be me, no matter where, when or what...Just me.
I want to be faithful,
Devout my life to serving others, serving God.
I want to make my Mom proud.
I want to make my Brother proud.
I want my other brothers to look up to me...I want to be a good example to them.
I want my Dad to be proud.
I want my other Dad to weep, because he gave up such a great family.
I don't want to hate.
I want to help everyone,
I want to do community service.
I want to visit the elderly and sing to them like I used to.
I want to go to camp, for my last year...
I want to recommit myself to God everyday I wake up.
I want to look at colleges, and find one for me.
There are so many more things I want to change, or improve...
Can it be done in a year???
Idk...
It's all so overwhelming...growing up.
Hey call me lazy but I don't want to get a job, I don't want to pay taxes..I don't want to pay a water bill, electric bill, heat bill, ugh everything...I don't want to.
I wanna run,
Into the country side...
And just keep running, and running, and running...
Run till I collapse..
Which will probably not be very far from where I begin running...
I want to hide, hide in a cave...all by my self and talk to my echo.
I want to sing, sing atop a mt.
Sing about Love, sing about Hate, sing about Everything.
I want to skip across the Great Wall of China,
And walk the same walk Jesus walked.
I want to sleep in a tee-pee
And eat out on the range...
I want to swing from tree to tree like a monkey.
And roll around laughing like a Hyena.
All this I want...
But it's so confusing...because I want all that..
But I also want a home..
A nice little white home in the country side...
A home to come to when I'm sick of running, skipping, laughing, and singing.
A home to sleep in.
A home to wake up in,
A home.
See my mind is a dangerous thing...
It doesn't even make sense to me...
I'm not going over what I just wrote...
I'll leave it like it is...
No second guessing...
No changing...
Just like I wrote it...
Straight from my heart.
So none of this will make sense...but hell, do I ever make sense?