mentalist!
cause, you know, i was free. even though techincally i'm not.
| 5 shows cho and rigsby watched |
[the mentalist | pg | cho, rigsby, van pelt, lisbon, jane | crack-ish. and super hxc cho]
i do not own the mentalist and the characters and the plot | 1711 words
“This is like the dissection of female society in high school,” he says, truly impressed.
1. Twilight
Cho groans. “This is the worse vampire representation ever.”
Rigsby snorts. “Shut up, it’s pretty entertaining.”
“No it’s not. It’s ridiculous and nonsensical and I am completely unimpressed.”
“That’s cause you don’t appreciate humour. Come on man, live a little.”
How do you live a little when you watch a 108-year-old vampire - inaccurate, technically if the movie really followed the books Edward Cullen would have been 104, and Cho does not understand why they have to add an extra 4 years in the show. What would have benefited the plot? - getting angsty over a 17-year-old girl who has the emotional capacity of his CBI badge? And why is Rigsby even enjoying this? And- oh holy coffee, no.
“Is he glittering?”
“I think,” Rigsby says, as if in awe, “Sparkling would be the word.”
“It’s like they dumped a bag of glitter over him!”
“Dude, don’t you find it cool?”
“Cool?” Cho is incredulous. “Are you a twelve-year-old girl?”
“Hey,” Rigsby says, offended. “It’s not easy doing special effects.”
“Apparently it’s not easy coming up with a good script either.”
Rigsby rolls his eyes. “You’re just being cynical.”
“I have never seen a vampire who sparkles. This is like My Little Pony in human form.”
“Were you unimpressed by My Little Pony?”
“Absolutely. But I am more unimpressed by this random tree-jumping breed of sparkling vampires.”
Rigsby shakes his head. “Man, no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.”
Edward Cullen broods, and Cho decides that he will never waste his hard-earned money on movies ever again. He’ll just rent the DVD when it comes out.
When they leave the cinema, Rigsby sighs. “Van Pelt recommended Twilight. I didn’t know it was going to have confusing dialogue and smelly people.”
Cho figures that Rigsby didn’t really understand that lab class scene. “She smelt of life’s essence to him, and he didn’t want to kill her.”
Rigsby blinks. “You mean you understood what was going on in there?”
Cho stares for a long time. “Come on. Jane must be waiting for our review back at the office.”
2. Marley and Me
They didn’t get to watch Marley and Me in cinemas thanks to the ongoing case of some rich tycoon’s wife getting kidnapped - and how pissed off Cho was when they found out that she was kidnapped by a group of teenagers who were angry that their regular meeting spot was bulldozed off to make way for one of his new projects.
So now, while there are calls from anguished family members and there is a moment of calm in the office, they’re watching Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson arguing about the fate of Marley.
Van Pelt has now joined them, after trying to ignore the sounds of babies coming through Rigsby’s computer’s speakers. She bites on a painted nail, and sighs wistfully.
“Imagining something?” Rigsby asks.
Van Pelt sighs harder. “They have such a nice house. And kids. I want kids.”
“I think,” says Cho, “The story is about the dog, not the kids.”
Rigsby punches his arm. “Be a little sensitive, will you?” He turns to Van Pelt. “You want kids?”
Cho rolls his eyes.
“Well, yeah,” Van Pelt says. “Every woman wants kids. But I’ve got my career, and there’s not really any suitors.”
If Cho weren’t raised as a gentleman, he would have smacked Van Pelt on the head like what he did to his sisters when they whined about the aircon breaking down. Rigsby has been talking about her almost every breathing moment of his life for the past year, and she says there are no suitors? Cho decides to recommend her to his mother’s optician when Rigsby is out of earshot.
Rigbsy smiles. “I’m sure you’ll find someone amazing.”
“You think so?” Van Pelt asks, hopeful.
Rigsby nods. “Sure you will.”
Cho grinds his teeth. “Now that we have confimed that Van Pelt will marry someone of stature, impressiveness, and probably with religious background, can we go back to the movie?”
Van Pelt cries when Marley dies. Cho tears up a little because he thinks of the dog he had when he was eight, and how it just curled up against him one night, and the next morning it was dead.
“Dude,” Rigsby asks over the sobbing of Van Pelt. “Are you crying?”
Cho shakes his head, wiping away unshed tears. “I was just reminded of the past, and I am slightly shaken.”
Rigsby looks unsure. “Whatever you say, man.”
3. Mean Girls
Jane bought the DVD as a joke, but this is something Cho really appreciates.
“This is like the dissection of female society in high school,” he says, truly impressed. “It’s the holy grail of the teenage boy.”
Rigsby’s eye twitches. “You’re not a teenage boy.”
“I know that,” Cho shoots back. “But imagine if we had this back then.”
“Cho, it’s a chick flick. It’s supposed to be entertainment.”
“I know people who find National Geographic’s analysis of the Nile River entertainment.”
“You have weird friends.”
Lindsay Lohan slowly transforms into a Plastic without knowing, and Cho finally understands why his sisters were sweet, nice ladies one day and slutty tramps the next.
When Regina George gets knocked down by the bus, Rigsby whoots. “In your face!”
Cho is satisfied indeed. “Girlfriend deserved it,” he nods.
Rigsby looks shocked. “Did you just… did you just say ‘girlfriend’?”
“Yes, I did use an updated slang.”
The next day, Cho and Rigsby wear pink ties, and Lisbon is amused.
“What’s with the matching ties?”
Rigsby winks. “On Wednesdays, we wear pink.”
Jane smiles, approaching them. “There’s some fashion consciousness I’m sensing today.”
“Oh yes,” Cho agrees. “It’s like you have ESPN or something.”
Jane and Lisbon look confused, but Van Pelt laughs so hard she can’t walk.
4. Ju-On
Cho’s third sister, the one that annoys him the most until today, sends him a package.
It’s a DVD of Ju-On.
Cho calls to scold her, and she laughs.
“Come on, big brother,” Kimberly says. “You can’t possibly still be scared, right? You’re a police officer.”
He isn’t, really, but there’s something about Asian horror shows that makes him tick. The first - and last - one he watched was The Ring, and his then-girlfriend cried all the way home.
He calls Rigsby, and he brings Chinese food. They sit on Cho’s black leather couch, eating dinner while watching the show.
“Damn,” Rigsby whistles. “This is some crazy show.”
Cho gulps as he watches the pale face of the dead boy appear on every level of the apartment block as the elevator goes up. “It is.”
Half an hour later, they’re cuddled as close as possible, of course while taking into account their manliness, and Cho now realizes that even his sheets cannot save him if a ghost is determined to end your life. How will he sleep at night? Will a Slanket work instead? He adds a mental note to call his mother to ask about the protective herbs she knows of.
Ju-On is an insane show. Cho does not understand the logic of making such movies when people are already afraid enough of the dark. And when the mother ghost crawls down the stairs… he turns to his own stairs, and sighs in relief when there is no long-haired soul making door-squeaking noises and ready to kill. Rigsby’s eye is twitching at full speed, and Cho is thankful that he’s here. Not that he’ll ever admit it, but it’s somehow comforting, watching a horror movie with a male friend.
Then Rigsby’s phone rings, and they both jump. Breathing heavily, Rigsby answers.
It’s Lisbon. “We’ve got a lead. You boys coming?”
Rigsby gulps. “But… but it’s late.”
“….And?”
“And it’s…. dark.”
There’s a silence. “Rigsby, you and Cho get your asses down here right now.”
5. Devdas
The Bollywood craze is on, thanks to Slumdog Millionaire, and Rigsby comes in one day with a really thick DVD set in hand.
“Devdas,” He says, as if one word could make Cho understand the entire plot, the characterizations and the urgent need to watch it.
“What?”
“Devdas,” he repeats. “My friend says that it’s pretty awesome. This one has subtitles, so we won’t get lost.”
Cho warily agrees to watch. He’s never really good with bling.
The dance routines make his head spin.
“The camera’s moving way to fast for anyone to absorb anything.”
“Are you kidding me?” Rigsby is incredulous. “It’s awesome! There’s nothing like that in Hollywood.”
“There’s a lot of red,” Cho notes. “There must be a lot of hurt and revenge in this story.”
“It’s just a dance routine, Cho.”
“There’s always a reason behind something.”
“Yeah, maybe because the actress look really hot in red.”
Halfway through the movie, Van Pelt and Lisbon join them. Jane opts to sleep on his couch.
“She’s beautiful,” Van Pelt murmurs as Aishwarya Rai cries when she’s being brought to her new home. “And it’s so heartbreaking.”
Lisbon sniffs. “It’s so sad.”
Cho and Rigsby exchange glances.
“That man is insane.”
“He’s heartbroken!” Van Pelt insists.
“Also,” Cho breaks it down for her. “Insane. He’s practically attempting suicide.”
“Drinking to death isn’t very fun,” Rigsby adds.
Lisbon waves her tissue paper. “You don’t understand how he feels.”
“Sure I do,” Cho says. “He’s upset because the love of his life got married to someone else, and he could have had her but his scheming mother ruined his plans. And even though the prostitute-”
“Courtesan,” Van Pelt hisses.
“Prostitute,” Cho continues. “loves him, he loves her back but it’s not enough to fill the… girl-shaped hole in him. So he decides that the next best thing is not to seek therapy, but die.”
Lisbon is aghast. “Her name is Paro.”
When Devdas dies and Paro screams in agony a door away, Lisbon sobs into her tissue and Van Pelt is wailing. Rigsby sits, slightly dazed, and Cho continues to read the subtitles, still trying to profile this complex Devdas character.
“That was long,” Rigsby finally says.
Cho agrees. It was four hours of subtitles. “Very complex show. The trainees should watch this, make them profile all the characters. It’s pretty tough.”
“You were profiling the characters?”
“Hey, I wasn’t going to watch four hours of angst for nothing.”
| 5 shows cho and rigsby watched |
[the mentalist | pg | cho, rigsby, van pelt, lisbon, jane | crack-ish. and super hxc cho]
i do not own the mentalist and the characters and the plot | 1711 words
“This is like the dissection of female society in high school,” he says, truly impressed.
1. Twilight
Cho groans. “This is the worse vampire representation ever.”
Rigsby snorts. “Shut up, it’s pretty entertaining.”
“No it’s not. It’s ridiculous and nonsensical and I am completely unimpressed.”
“That’s cause you don’t appreciate humour. Come on man, live a little.”
How do you live a little when you watch a 108-year-old vampire - inaccurate, technically if the movie really followed the books Edward Cullen would have been 104, and Cho does not understand why they have to add an extra 4 years in the show. What would have benefited the plot? - getting angsty over a 17-year-old girl who has the emotional capacity of his CBI badge? And why is Rigsby even enjoying this? And- oh holy coffee, no.
“Is he glittering?”
“I think,” Rigsby says, as if in awe, “Sparkling would be the word.”
“It’s like they dumped a bag of glitter over him!”
“Dude, don’t you find it cool?”
“Cool?” Cho is incredulous. “Are you a twelve-year-old girl?”
“Hey,” Rigsby says, offended. “It’s not easy doing special effects.”
“Apparently it’s not easy coming up with a good script either.”
Rigsby rolls his eyes. “You’re just being cynical.”
“I have never seen a vampire who sparkles. This is like My Little Pony in human form.”
“Were you unimpressed by My Little Pony?”
“Absolutely. But I am more unimpressed by this random tree-jumping breed of sparkling vampires.”
Rigsby shakes his head. “Man, no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.”
Edward Cullen broods, and Cho decides that he will never waste his hard-earned money on movies ever again. He’ll just rent the DVD when it comes out.
When they leave the cinema, Rigsby sighs. “Van Pelt recommended Twilight. I didn’t know it was going to have confusing dialogue and smelly people.”
Cho figures that Rigsby didn’t really understand that lab class scene. “She smelt of life’s essence to him, and he didn’t want to kill her.”
Rigsby blinks. “You mean you understood what was going on in there?”
Cho stares for a long time. “Come on. Jane must be waiting for our review back at the office.”
2. Marley and Me
They didn’t get to watch Marley and Me in cinemas thanks to the ongoing case of some rich tycoon’s wife getting kidnapped - and how pissed off Cho was when they found out that she was kidnapped by a group of teenagers who were angry that their regular meeting spot was bulldozed off to make way for one of his new projects.
So now, while there are calls from anguished family members and there is a moment of calm in the office, they’re watching Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson arguing about the fate of Marley.
Van Pelt has now joined them, after trying to ignore the sounds of babies coming through Rigsby’s computer’s speakers. She bites on a painted nail, and sighs wistfully.
“Imagining something?” Rigsby asks.
Van Pelt sighs harder. “They have such a nice house. And kids. I want kids.”
“I think,” says Cho, “The story is about the dog, not the kids.”
Rigsby punches his arm. “Be a little sensitive, will you?” He turns to Van Pelt. “You want kids?”
Cho rolls his eyes.
“Well, yeah,” Van Pelt says. “Every woman wants kids. But I’ve got my career, and there’s not really any suitors.”
If Cho weren’t raised as a gentleman, he would have smacked Van Pelt on the head like what he did to his sisters when they whined about the aircon breaking down. Rigsby has been talking about her almost every breathing moment of his life for the past year, and she says there are no suitors? Cho decides to recommend her to his mother’s optician when Rigsby is out of earshot.
Rigbsy smiles. “I’m sure you’ll find someone amazing.”
“You think so?” Van Pelt asks, hopeful.
Rigsby nods. “Sure you will.”
Cho grinds his teeth. “Now that we have confimed that Van Pelt will marry someone of stature, impressiveness, and probably with religious background, can we go back to the movie?”
Van Pelt cries when Marley dies. Cho tears up a little because he thinks of the dog he had when he was eight, and how it just curled up against him one night, and the next morning it was dead.
“Dude,” Rigsby asks over the sobbing of Van Pelt. “Are you crying?”
Cho shakes his head, wiping away unshed tears. “I was just reminded of the past, and I am slightly shaken.”
Rigsby looks unsure. “Whatever you say, man.”
3. Mean Girls
Jane bought the DVD as a joke, but this is something Cho really appreciates.
“This is like the dissection of female society in high school,” he says, truly impressed. “It’s the holy grail of the teenage boy.”
Rigsby’s eye twitches. “You’re not a teenage boy.”
“I know that,” Cho shoots back. “But imagine if we had this back then.”
“Cho, it’s a chick flick. It’s supposed to be entertainment.”
“I know people who find National Geographic’s analysis of the Nile River entertainment.”
“You have weird friends.”
Lindsay Lohan slowly transforms into a Plastic without knowing, and Cho finally understands why his sisters were sweet, nice ladies one day and slutty tramps the next.
When Regina George gets knocked down by the bus, Rigsby whoots. “In your face!”
Cho is satisfied indeed. “Girlfriend deserved it,” he nods.
Rigsby looks shocked. “Did you just… did you just say ‘girlfriend’?”
“Yes, I did use an updated slang.”
The next day, Cho and Rigsby wear pink ties, and Lisbon is amused.
“What’s with the matching ties?”
Rigsby winks. “On Wednesdays, we wear pink.”
Jane smiles, approaching them. “There’s some fashion consciousness I’m sensing today.”
“Oh yes,” Cho agrees. “It’s like you have ESPN or something.”
Jane and Lisbon look confused, but Van Pelt laughs so hard she can’t walk.
4. Ju-On
Cho’s third sister, the one that annoys him the most until today, sends him a package.
It’s a DVD of Ju-On.
Cho calls to scold her, and she laughs.
“Come on, big brother,” Kimberly says. “You can’t possibly still be scared, right? You’re a police officer.”
He isn’t, really, but there’s something about Asian horror shows that makes him tick. The first - and last - one he watched was The Ring, and his then-girlfriend cried all the way home.
He calls Rigsby, and he brings Chinese food. They sit on Cho’s black leather couch, eating dinner while watching the show.
“Damn,” Rigsby whistles. “This is some crazy show.”
Cho gulps as he watches the pale face of the dead boy appear on every level of the apartment block as the elevator goes up. “It is.”
Half an hour later, they’re cuddled as close as possible, of course while taking into account their manliness, and Cho now realizes that even his sheets cannot save him if a ghost is determined to end your life. How will he sleep at night? Will a Slanket work instead? He adds a mental note to call his mother to ask about the protective herbs she knows of.
Ju-On is an insane show. Cho does not understand the logic of making such movies when people are already afraid enough of the dark. And when the mother ghost crawls down the stairs… he turns to his own stairs, and sighs in relief when there is no long-haired soul making door-squeaking noises and ready to kill. Rigsby’s eye is twitching at full speed, and Cho is thankful that he’s here. Not that he’ll ever admit it, but it’s somehow comforting, watching a horror movie with a male friend.
Then Rigsby’s phone rings, and they both jump. Breathing heavily, Rigsby answers.
It’s Lisbon. “We’ve got a lead. You boys coming?”
Rigsby gulps. “But… but it’s late.”
“….And?”
“And it’s…. dark.”
There’s a silence. “Rigsby, you and Cho get your asses down here right now.”
5. Devdas
The Bollywood craze is on, thanks to Slumdog Millionaire, and Rigsby comes in one day with a really thick DVD set in hand.
“Devdas,” He says, as if one word could make Cho understand the entire plot, the characterizations and the urgent need to watch it.
“What?”
“Devdas,” he repeats. “My friend says that it’s pretty awesome. This one has subtitles, so we won’t get lost.”
Cho warily agrees to watch. He’s never really good with bling.
The dance routines make his head spin.
“The camera’s moving way to fast for anyone to absorb anything.”
“Are you kidding me?” Rigsby is incredulous. “It’s awesome! There’s nothing like that in Hollywood.”
“There’s a lot of red,” Cho notes. “There must be a lot of hurt and revenge in this story.”
“It’s just a dance routine, Cho.”
“There’s always a reason behind something.”
“Yeah, maybe because the actress look really hot in red.”
Halfway through the movie, Van Pelt and Lisbon join them. Jane opts to sleep on his couch.
“She’s beautiful,” Van Pelt murmurs as Aishwarya Rai cries when she’s being brought to her new home. “And it’s so heartbreaking.”
Lisbon sniffs. “It’s so sad.”
Cho and Rigsby exchange glances.
“That man is insane.”
“He’s heartbroken!” Van Pelt insists.
“Also,” Cho breaks it down for her. “Insane. He’s practically attempting suicide.”
“Drinking to death isn’t very fun,” Rigsby adds.
Lisbon waves her tissue paper. “You don’t understand how he feels.”
“Sure I do,” Cho says. “He’s upset because the love of his life got married to someone else, and he could have had her but his scheming mother ruined his plans. And even though the prostitute-”
“Courtesan,” Van Pelt hisses.
“Prostitute,” Cho continues. “loves him, he loves her back but it’s not enough to fill the… girl-shaped hole in him. So he decides that the next best thing is not to seek therapy, but die.”
Lisbon is aghast. “Her name is Paro.”
When Devdas dies and Paro screams in agony a door away, Lisbon sobs into her tissue and Van Pelt is wailing. Rigsby sits, slightly dazed, and Cho continues to read the subtitles, still trying to profile this complex Devdas character.
“That was long,” Rigsby finally says.
Cho agrees. It was four hours of subtitles. “Very complex show. The trainees should watch this, make them profile all the characters. It’s pretty tough.”
“You were profiling the characters?”
“Hey, I wasn’t going to watch four hours of angst for nothing.”