(no subject)

[tioch08]

so much for having one of the best weeks of my life last week. this week, i dunno nothings the same. all my friends are not happy, and its like everything all the sudden turned upside down, and i have no idea how i can fix it. first of all, i found out that heather isnt really that happy with this whole highschool deal, because all her friends go to jamestown, and she told me today that me and kayla were one of her only friends at layfayette. im sorry, but if anyone deserves to feel like they are empty and alone, it is definitly not heather. when i moved here in the 3rd grade, i was considered the weird oregan girl with the ugly beaver teeth because of my stupid two braces in the front, and everyone had fake smiles on there faces whenever they were around me. of corse whenever i wasnt around, or should i say thought i wasnt standing right in front of them, they said all sorts of great shit about me. on the other hand, heather was the first girl who actully came up to me and looked past my weirdness, and gave me a chance to prove to her who i really was. she gave me lunchmoney the first day of school in this stupid conservative state when i found out that we had a fieldtrip to go on and i had no food, and she was my partner, and she was there for me. she wasnt only there for me then, but she has always been there for me through everything. see why i am so pissed off, because no one ever takes the effort to make new friends anymore, they always have to stick with the old ones. and then people complain that there life is boring, well why not do something about it instead of just sitting there, like for example, go talk to that new kid who sits by themselves everyday at lunch. but then agian it seems like i only have 2 true friends at school, heather and kayla, because whenever i try to start a friendship with someone they arnt really interested. am i socialy challenged or something, i mean i know i can be shy when you first get to know me, but after that im really not that quiet. people just think that the way you act the first time is how you really are, and if you are quiet and shy they arnt really interested, but i guess this world is just filled with people with so many fake smiles. oh yeah and whitney smart, if you are reading this, stop giving me and kayla those stupid looks at lunch, and im going to say this as nice as possible. see whenever kayla trys to make a new friend, you go on and on about how shes taking away all your friends and ruining your life. newsflash, the reason they like kayla is because she doesnt gossip about stupid usless things, and dont say that you dont mrs "omg she looks like such a slut in that dress". how would you feel if someone said shit like that behind your back whit? see what i mean, see how stupid it is, and you do it to kayla all the time, and she did absolutly nothing to you. and i know your going to come up to me and be like ooo i have no idea what your talking about i love you guys.... well thats BS!!! so do me a favor and go back to the old whitney, the one who always made me laugh and the one who made me so excited whenever i found out i was spending the night at her house. now your just someone else, i dont even recognize you anymore, ever since the day where you told me and kayla to fuck off at lunch, i knew something happened. what happend to us whit? what happened to you? what IS happening here?

i really dont want to know whats going to happen next but then agian i want to......