Fake Chicken slices and a forty dollar bag of salad
I'm fairly confident that only one or two people will read this so I'm ok with the amount of honesty that is going to come out in a few seconds.
I'm really really mad at love. It's such a fucking stupid concept, but yet we are all in NEED of it. We need to be accepted, desired, fawned over, supported, and constantly affectionate with someone. Anyone. We spend our lives searching for acceptance, support and affection from our parents/family members and when it doesn't happen the way we want it to/need it to we become disabled in loving others. My grandpa for example, uses the words "warm feelings towards you" instead of telling his children and grandchildren that he loves us. Part of me hates him for the fact that he doesn't LOVE us, but a part of me respects the fuck out of the fact that he doesn't feign it. He is completely real with the fact that he either 1. doesn't know what love is or 2. he just doesn't love us. Either way, all appreciation for honesty aside, I recognize the affects of his lack of loving in my life.
So we don't get love from our family, what do we do? We find it in a significant other. Only, this love isn't perfect and isn't fulfilling 9 times out of 10. In fact, only after a few ridiculously horrible experiences and failed attempts can we truly find someone to be compatible with. Is that all it is? A constant struggle to gain the ATTENTION of another human being? And when we run out of energy to do this we are left with an uninterested husband and two babies. Is it any wonder that women give up on themselves? With all the plastic surgery and perfectionism that goes on in this culture I don't find it surprising that women just "let themselves go" after competing for years just to get their husbands to find them attractive for more than a couple of years.
Then, in turn, we are left with children in families of parents who are either 1. constantly doing everything in their power to keep their spouses interested and obsessing over weight, breast size, sex life, social status, beauty, success, etc. etc. or 2. have given up on themselves, accepted the fact that their husband/wife is fucking around behind their back, gained 40 lbs, wears sweat pants and filthy t-shirts every day and spiral into a deep rooted depression. Both of these scenarios leave little room for concern for the children which perpetuates the cycle. The kids don't experience a normal, healthy, loving relationship at home and with all the emotional difficulties it is rarely possible for parents to properly LOVE the children, leaving the children to grow up without love and search for it in a significant other.
so it begins again. I'm leaving it at this because I don't care to elucidate on my personal experiences. I am frustrated, I'm sad, I just want things to work out for once in my life and in Melody's life, and in my sister's life.
"Maybe we are eachother's soulmates, and maybe men are just a temporary fix"
I'm really really mad at love. It's such a fucking stupid concept, but yet we are all in NEED of it. We need to be accepted, desired, fawned over, supported, and constantly affectionate with someone. Anyone. We spend our lives searching for acceptance, support and affection from our parents/family members and when it doesn't happen the way we want it to/need it to we become disabled in loving others. My grandpa for example, uses the words "warm feelings towards you" instead of telling his children and grandchildren that he loves us. Part of me hates him for the fact that he doesn't LOVE us, but a part of me respects the fuck out of the fact that he doesn't feign it. He is completely real with the fact that he either 1. doesn't know what love is or 2. he just doesn't love us. Either way, all appreciation for honesty aside, I recognize the affects of his lack of loving in my life.
So we don't get love from our family, what do we do? We find it in a significant other. Only, this love isn't perfect and isn't fulfilling 9 times out of 10. In fact, only after a few ridiculously horrible experiences and failed attempts can we truly find someone to be compatible with. Is that all it is? A constant struggle to gain the ATTENTION of another human being? And when we run out of energy to do this we are left with an uninterested husband and two babies. Is it any wonder that women give up on themselves? With all the plastic surgery and perfectionism that goes on in this culture I don't find it surprising that women just "let themselves go" after competing for years just to get their husbands to find them attractive for more than a couple of years.
Then, in turn, we are left with children in families of parents who are either 1. constantly doing everything in their power to keep their spouses interested and obsessing over weight, breast size, sex life, social status, beauty, success, etc. etc. or 2. have given up on themselves, accepted the fact that their husband/wife is fucking around behind their back, gained 40 lbs, wears sweat pants and filthy t-shirts every day and spiral into a deep rooted depression. Both of these scenarios leave little room for concern for the children which perpetuates the cycle. The kids don't experience a normal, healthy, loving relationship at home and with all the emotional difficulties it is rarely possible for parents to properly LOVE the children, leaving the children to grow up without love and search for it in a significant other.
so it begins again. I'm leaving it at this because I don't care to elucidate on my personal experiences. I am frustrated, I'm sad, I just want things to work out for once in my life and in Melody's life, and in my sister's life.
"Maybe we are eachother's soulmates, and maybe men are just a temporary fix"