Zen
Have you ever had a friend who dated, albeit briefly, a total fucktard? I myself could have been a medalist in the Bad Boyfriend Olympics at various points in my life. However, my dear real-life friend lacyunderall seems to have just done the triple flip half gainer swan dive with a Scooby-Doo twist landing of bad boyfriendom. Ladies, think you’ve dated a loser? I bet this will make you feel better. Nice guy, right?
Donna, we thank you for suffering so we don’t have to. Now I hate to point out the warning signs, but let’s all look at them for educational purposes, shall we?
More reasons why Donna should win the gold? This guy claims to meditate once a day and study Tibetan Buddhism. Amazing! We should all learn to let go like this. I’m guessing he was born in the year of the Cock. He also seems to be one of those guys that calls every woman who disagrees with him a cunt. That’s always a sure sign of a man whose comfortable with the size of both his brain and his penis. I like also that he refers to all of her friends as lonely agoraphobic freaks. That’s so us, right? Not like someone who’s faced…gulp…three hundred [can’t you just picture him putting his pinky to his mouth a la Dr. Evil?] people as a stand-up comedian. Or was it as a sheetrock installer? I can’t remember. Must be because I’m such a cunt.
So, Donna, here’s to you for jumping on the grenade for all the rest of us. Thank you for sparing all the rest of us from this giant seething scrote sac of insecurity. You really shouldn’t have, but I’m glad you did. You, my friend, win the all time Gold Medal of the Bad Boyfriend Olympics.
I would take my hat off to you, but I think the bald guy stole it.
Donna, we thank you for suffering so we don’t have to. Now I hate to point out the warning signs, but let’s all look at them for educational purposes, shall we?
- The bald dude who always wears a baseball cap--BIG CLUE here. Just say no to bald guys who wear their baseball caps like a bad weave.
- Google says he’s the “spawn of an unnatural union between Henry Rollins and Don Rickles.” Er…I’ll let that one speak for itself.
- A guy who brags that he can play more than fifty Elvis Costello songs on the guitar. Really? Will he wear his ironic trucker cap whilst strumming?
- A “comedian” who pesters you about whether he is funnier than your ex-boyfriend. Maybe that was supposed to be the comic version of “is my dick bigger?”
- Google is an oracle sometimes. Check this out: “In 1997 I partnered with comic James Inman for a political debate at Acme Comedy Company in Minneapolis.” Evidently, Donna’s lucky that she didn’t end up looking like this.
More reasons why Donna should win the gold? This guy claims to meditate once a day and study Tibetan Buddhism. Amazing! We should all learn to let go like this. I’m guessing he was born in the year of the Cock. He also seems to be one of those guys that calls every woman who disagrees with him a cunt. That’s always a sure sign of a man whose comfortable with the size of both his brain and his penis. I like also that he refers to all of her friends as lonely agoraphobic freaks. That’s so us, right? Not like someone who’s faced…gulp…three hundred [can’t you just picture him putting his pinky to his mouth a la Dr. Evil?] people as a stand-up comedian. Or was it as a sheetrock installer? I can’t remember. Must be because I’m such a cunt.
So, Donna, here’s to you for jumping on the grenade for all the rest of us. Thank you for sparing all the rest of us from this giant seething scrote sac of insecurity. You really shouldn’t have, but I’m glad you did. You, my friend, win the all time Gold Medal of the Bad Boyfriend Olympics.
I would take my hat off to you, but I think the bald guy stole it.