resurrection, resolution, and resentment
I hear the words, and see them resounding with conviction in your eyes fixated on me before greeting sleep. to my dismay, they ring through me with only a hollow echo.
I want to believe what you say, so desperately as existent. I know you mean every utterance with the same certainty spent in every moment between us; as real as every touch from fingers to skin of hands, face, back and again... those eyes speaking volumes before my ears were ever exposed to such rude awakenings....
but my self won't let me believe this to be true.
what has happened to me? where did the smiles, warmth, and happiness go?
why can't I feel anything anymore?
what we experience is something beautiful, so very beautiful, and unexpected,
that it left me blinded to the possibility that I am completely unable to love anymore.
teach me please. I can learn. I want to, and I know I can.
I can learn to believe myself when I say those words in return...