Four score and seven years ago...
a girl has risen from the ashes back to claim her throne!
Yeah, yeah. I know... I've disappeared out of everyone's blog-reading lives and I have crushed many hearts, but fear not, I am back. Both Myspace and Facebook are beginning to overwhelm me to the point of exhaustion. It's too much. Honestly, I cannot believe it has come to the point where people's lives revolve around it. I mean, seriously... people are getting upset with me because I do not comment their pages? Get a fucking life! Doesn't face to face interaction mean anything to anyone? I guess it grants more validation and merit if a simple comment is posted on a silly page... Just so that it's "on the record." Good god. Sometimes I wish I knew what social interaction was like before this silly web social networking craze. If you really think about it, we have in essence created a new form of caste system where one's desirability is soley based upon how many friends they have and who they know. It has nothing to do with the quality of these relationships. The little number next to "friends" tells it all. How pathetic really.
But, to get onto the subject of me...
I've been doing fairly well as of yet. This is my last semester of community college and then I get my associate's degree. Move onto something else. Something bigger and meaningful. Hopefully I just move out of this shithole known as the midwest and pursue a lucrative life in the city of... Austin, TX. But we shall see... School has been kicking my ass. I barely work for it at all either and surprisingly enough I'm passing. Yay for lack of effort. Besides that I've been adding work to the mix. Borders and PacSun. God. Today I just wanted to burrow into a cave for the rest of the year. I got called into PacSun and left my phone in my car... I came back with 5 missed calls from work (Borders) saying that I was supposed to be at work at 11, which confused me because I was under the impression that I closed. Whatever... I'm over it now I guess.
I'm still an emotional wreck. Earlier on this year I booked a few appointments with a therapist to see what was wrong with me. Judging by the sessions I did have... I think my problem is social interaction and communication. I have issues telling people how I really feel about certain things and I rarely stand up for myself, which I have been beginning on working on. Starting with not letting my friends run my life for me.
Since I've been talking to this guy... I decided to quit smoking. It's not like I did it FOR him... It just gave me yet another reason to quit. Seriously, every morning I go up 3 flights of stairs to my French class and by the time I've reached its summit, I am winded like marathon runner winded. That shouldn't happen. Ever. I will not lie, I have smoked a few ciggarettes here and there, but in my defense, I was intoxicated. I think for now on... Smoking-smoking is a no-no and drunken-smoking is permissible. But i shall never buy a pack again. Because if I do, we all know what's gonna happen.
Anyways, I'm feeling rather bummed for no reason again. Its the kind of bummed where you feel like you've been foresakened and you want to fall down to the ground on your knees in the pouring rain crying out to the heavens. I can picture this well. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. It seems like everyone else is fucked up too. Take my friends for example. I don't even know what the hell is up with HER lately. But whatever. I don't care anymore.
Yeah, yeah. I know... I've disappeared out of everyone's blog-reading lives and I have crushed many hearts, but fear not, I am back. Both Myspace and Facebook are beginning to overwhelm me to the point of exhaustion. It's too much. Honestly, I cannot believe it has come to the point where people's lives revolve around it. I mean, seriously... people are getting upset with me because I do not comment their pages? Get a fucking life! Doesn't face to face interaction mean anything to anyone? I guess it grants more validation and merit if a simple comment is posted on a silly page... Just so that it's "on the record." Good god. Sometimes I wish I knew what social interaction was like before this silly web social networking craze. If you really think about it, we have in essence created a new form of caste system where one's desirability is soley based upon how many friends they have and who they know. It has nothing to do with the quality of these relationships. The little number next to "friends" tells it all. How pathetic really.
But, to get onto the subject of me...
I've been doing fairly well as of yet. This is my last semester of community college and then I get my associate's degree. Move onto something else. Something bigger and meaningful. Hopefully I just move out of this shithole known as the midwest and pursue a lucrative life in the city of... Austin, TX. But we shall see... School has been kicking my ass. I barely work for it at all either and surprisingly enough I'm passing. Yay for lack of effort. Besides that I've been adding work to the mix. Borders and PacSun. God. Today I just wanted to burrow into a cave for the rest of the year. I got called into PacSun and left my phone in my car... I came back with 5 missed calls from work (Borders) saying that I was supposed to be at work at 11, which confused me because I was under the impression that I closed. Whatever... I'm over it now I guess.
I'm still an emotional wreck. Earlier on this year I booked a few appointments with a therapist to see what was wrong with me. Judging by the sessions I did have... I think my problem is social interaction and communication. I have issues telling people how I really feel about certain things and I rarely stand up for myself, which I have been beginning on working on. Starting with not letting my friends run my life for me.
Since I've been talking to this guy... I decided to quit smoking. It's not like I did it FOR him... It just gave me yet another reason to quit. Seriously, every morning I go up 3 flights of stairs to my French class and by the time I've reached its summit, I am winded like marathon runner winded. That shouldn't happen. Ever. I will not lie, I have smoked a few ciggarettes here and there, but in my defense, I was intoxicated. I think for now on... Smoking-smoking is a no-no and drunken-smoking is permissible. But i shall never buy a pack again. Because if I do, we all know what's gonna happen.
Anyways, I'm feeling rather bummed for no reason again. Its the kind of bummed where you feel like you've been foresakened and you want to fall down to the ground on your knees in the pouring rain crying out to the heavens. I can picture this well. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. It seems like everyone else is fucked up too. Take my friends for example. I don't even know what the hell is up with HER lately. But whatever. I don't care anymore.