Losing it...
I think I'm losing it. I'm so exahusted. I don't stop. I haven't been getting home before eight all this week. I still have football. I'm sick. I called my parents house like 15 times tonight and no one answered. I freaked and sent my Aunt over to check on my mom. My mom swears the phone never rang. I ended up crying hystericaly. I'm losing it for sure. I hope football ends this friday so I can check myself and slow down a little.
On top of everything, I let myself be fooled again. What's that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice (or eight times), shame on me. I believe all the lip service and take it all to heart and then get crushed. It happens everytime. "I love you. I miss you. I feel safe with you." Then she rips out my heart and does some fucking dance on it. I'm sick of it. I can't spare those emotions right now when I'm tittering on the brink of complete exhaustion.
School's going well. I like teaching the Red Cross stuff. My kids seem to respond more to it. I'm living in my own personal soap opera. I guess because I'm so young compared to most teachers, the kids really trust me and will tell me everything. Who's doing who. Who likes who. Who's gonna fight who. And on top of it the gay possie has formed. I hope I'm a posative role model for them. Anyways, I've got to go to sleep before I lose my shit.
On top of everything, I let myself be fooled again. What's that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice (or eight times), shame on me. I believe all the lip service and take it all to heart and then get crushed. It happens everytime. "I love you. I miss you. I feel safe with you." Then she rips out my heart and does some fucking dance on it. I'm sick of it. I can't spare those emotions right now when I'm tittering on the brink of complete exhaustion.
School's going well. I like teaching the Red Cross stuff. My kids seem to respond more to it. I'm living in my own personal soap opera. I guess because I'm so young compared to most teachers, the kids really trust me and will tell me everything. Who's doing who. Who likes who. Who's gonna fight who. And on top of it the gay possie has formed. I hope I'm a posative role model for them. Anyways, I've got to go to sleep before I lose my shit.