*sigh*
I am tired. Like really tired... It doesn't help that I only got like 2.5hrs of sleep, but it's more then that. I am listless at my job.... I really don't enjoy it... I have to return a call to that gov place cause they left me another message...
James came over last night, which was nice. He didn't get there till almost 1230 though, and I was tired then. We got pizza cause he was starving then went to bed. I wont be seeing him again tonight though, he's gots plans. Ain, I guess I just have to cuddle my pillow again tonight.
I have an audition on Sunday, Should be good. I haven't done any projects in such a long time, I have been waiting for this! Maybe this time I'll get a huge role! (Probably not, but a girl can dream, right?)
I really didn't feel like working yesterday, so I went back and read all my previous posts.... my how things have changed! When I first started this blog, I was a 20yr old government worker, and now I am a 25yr old University graduate at a forklift company.... I started it thinking I was going to be getting engaged soon, and now am with a different guy.... I started it so young and (at times) immature....
I went back and read some of the old posts and boy, some of the stuff I said... I was not as wise as I am now.
And now for something we hope you'll really like! (reference?)
I'm happy with my romantic life... it's been years since I could say that... even the last 2 (let's be honest, 3) years I was with the ex, it wasn't something I could say... there was a lot wrong... a lot going wrong... I wasn't as happy as I wanted to be; as happy as I should have been... In retrospect, I should have broken things off with the ex years ago... but I was scared and stupid and invested... I didn't know how I could go on without him... I was just so dependant on him at that point that even the mere thought was like an imposibility. I got so attached to him so fast that it became a thing where I didn't know who I was anymore. I don't want that again.... I don't want to lose myself in a relationship again, because the pain I experienced both before and after the break-up was excruciating.
I am just loving being with someone new and different. I love just hanging out and chatting and getting to know him. I love giving him things I can give, things he might not necessarily have had before and I enjoy feeling like I really matter... With James, I feel appreciated, I feel happy, I feel excited. Isn't it funny how thigs turn out? Who knows what might happen tomorrow... right now I am happy.... happy and in love.
We were talking about Christmas the other day, and I said something along the lines of "if we are still together"... he didn't really like that... I tried to explain it to him that I don't want to assume anything... I got so hurt, assuming that stuff... I don't think he really got it... I don't blame him... it's ok... I just, I don't want to build up my expectations and all that and then end up hurt in the end... again. That doesn't mean that I don't think it would/could last... (which I do) it just means I am trying not to get ahead of myself, trying to protect a very fragile heart. It's no offence in the least...
Anyways...
I've had indigestion for the last couple fo days... it sucks... no one likes an acidy stomach. Maybe one of these days I should consider a more balanced diet... nah...
You know what I love? Office supplies. I just love them! Colour coding things, and labelling and organizing!!! You wouldn't know it to look at my apartment.... it's a little cluttered... the problem there isn't my lack or organization per se though, its more my lack of storage space, or organizational tools... I just have so little space.... I had downsized from a 2-bedroom with tonnes of storage to where I am now, and I got rid of a lot of stuff.. like half of it (it helped that I was getting rid of the ex's stuff, and stuff that he gave me/reminded me of him.... very liberating!) But still I have a lot of stuff and very little room for it! I really have to clean out my closets and see if I can do something about it... maybe I'll check with the landlord about additional storage..
Anyways, I guess I have rambled enough for now... covered a great many subjects (ok well a few)
*gurgle gurgle* stupid stomach!
James came over last night, which was nice. He didn't get there till almost 1230 though, and I was tired then. We got pizza cause he was starving then went to bed. I wont be seeing him again tonight though, he's gots plans. Ain, I guess I just have to cuddle my pillow again tonight.
I have an audition on Sunday, Should be good. I haven't done any projects in such a long time, I have been waiting for this! Maybe this time I'll get a huge role! (Probably not, but a girl can dream, right?)
I really didn't feel like working yesterday, so I went back and read all my previous posts.... my how things have changed! When I first started this blog, I was a 20yr old government worker, and now I am a 25yr old University graduate at a forklift company.... I started it thinking I was going to be getting engaged soon, and now am with a different guy.... I started it so young and (at times) immature....
I went back and read some of the old posts and boy, some of the stuff I said... I was not as wise as I am now.
And now for something we hope you'll really like! (reference?)
I'm happy with my romantic life... it's been years since I could say that... even the last 2 (let's be honest, 3) years I was with the ex, it wasn't something I could say... there was a lot wrong... a lot going wrong... I wasn't as happy as I wanted to be; as happy as I should have been... In retrospect, I should have broken things off with the ex years ago... but I was scared and stupid and invested... I didn't know how I could go on without him... I was just so dependant on him at that point that even the mere thought was like an imposibility. I got so attached to him so fast that it became a thing where I didn't know who I was anymore. I don't want that again.... I don't want to lose myself in a relationship again, because the pain I experienced both before and after the break-up was excruciating.
I am just loving being with someone new and different. I love just hanging out and chatting and getting to know him. I love giving him things I can give, things he might not necessarily have had before and I enjoy feeling like I really matter... With James, I feel appreciated, I feel happy, I feel excited. Isn't it funny how thigs turn out? Who knows what might happen tomorrow... right now I am happy.... happy and in love.
We were talking about Christmas the other day, and I said something along the lines of "if we are still together"... he didn't really like that... I tried to explain it to him that I don't want to assume anything... I got so hurt, assuming that stuff... I don't think he really got it... I don't blame him... it's ok... I just, I don't want to build up my expectations and all that and then end up hurt in the end... again. That doesn't mean that I don't think it would/could last... (which I do) it just means I am trying not to get ahead of myself, trying to protect a very fragile heart. It's no offence in the least...
Anyways...
I've had indigestion for the last couple fo days... it sucks... no one likes an acidy stomach. Maybe one of these days I should consider a more balanced diet... nah...
You know what I love? Office supplies. I just love them! Colour coding things, and labelling and organizing!!! You wouldn't know it to look at my apartment.... it's a little cluttered... the problem there isn't my lack or organization per se though, its more my lack of storage space, or organizational tools... I just have so little space.... I had downsized from a 2-bedroom with tonnes of storage to where I am now, and I got rid of a lot of stuff.. like half of it (it helped that I was getting rid of the ex's stuff, and stuff that he gave me/reminded me of him.... very liberating!) But still I have a lot of stuff and very little room for it! I really have to clean out my closets and see if I can do something about it... maybe I'll check with the landlord about additional storage..
Anyways, I guess I have rambled enough for now... covered a great many subjects (ok well a few)
*gurgle gurgle* stupid stomach!