rising up to the occasion
wow i should update more, not like i'm that exciting though lol. so something amazing happened, confusing, but amazing. an old bf, mark, who i haven't seen in months because he was mad at me because i basically broke his heart(read in the comments of my last post for that story) is back in my life. we were together for over a year. we broke up because of my stupid dreams about past crushes and acting out on those dreams. well he dumped me, and had every reason to. i ran into him at the mall a week ago, and he didn't avoid me when i said hello. he talked to me. we talked about what we've done since the breakup, how he's starting college this fall, how i'm going to work a year before starting, etc etc. he was about to leave cus he had to meet up with some friends for a movie, and he touched my cheek and just stared at me. my heart was RACING!!!! he pulled me up to him and said into my ear, "after what you did to me, i wish i didn't, but i do, i miss you. my heart is never going to allow me to forget you. call me." then he squeezed my hand and walked off. i literally stood there for like 5 minutes, stunned. then i instinctively rushed to wet seal, bought a super cute dress and peep toe heels, and the whole time i was thinking, "i am sooo wearing this when we go out." mark loved me in a dress and heels. so i called him the next day and we hung out at his house 2 days later, and yes he loved the dress!! i must have apologized a thousand times to him and told him how i was so stupid for risking our love, and there were plenty of tears from both of us. we watched punch drunk love, and i fell asleep for about 2 hours. i woke up to mark kissing my arm and talking to me. he was whispering, and i don't think he knew i was awake. he was saying how he missed me, that he forgives me, and what made me cry, he kissed my ear and said "stay here forever with me." then he realized i was awake. i told him i loved him, and we kissed, talked some more, and then i went home very late. my mom was pissed, but gosh that was so worth it! what has got me confused, well moreso feeling bad, is chris. i know he has a thing for me, and i don't want to hurt that boy. he's such a good person. i'm supposed to hang out with him on wednesday, and i'll have to tell him then. i'm afraid i'll lose his friendship. chris if you ever read this, i'm sorry if i end up hurting you. i never meant to.