We're being wonderfully vague today
I should start doing things just so I'd have something to post about. I really want to write about something, but since I don't actually do much of anything, ever, there's not much I could tell anyone about. And the things I do want to talk about are things that I don't know about. Those aren't my thing to talk about. They gnaw at you though, those things you can't say anything about. Secrets that aren't your own, that people share with you because they need to tell someone. Because it's too much for them to keep all of it inside anymore. There's the little secrets and maybe they don't always seem that important, but they're private things told in confidence and you'll keep them safe until you're told that you don't need to. They're not big things, but they build up. And then there's the big secrets, the huge and heavy ones. The ones that hurt to know. I don't want to know those.
But I'll listen and I won't judge and I'll keep your secrets. So I'm told, and I suppose it's true enough. Sometimes I think that's not what I'd want people to think of me, simply because then at least they wouldn't tell me things that make me cry myself to sleep. And wouldn't talk so easily to me of things that are illegal or immoral or just plain painful or too private. But I suppose that it doesn't help that I ask and tell them I'll listen in case they want to talk.
It's been a heavy sort of week (or couple of) and tomorrow won't be happy either. But my apartment is clean and I've managed to get all of my things into their own places. Finally. I could still do with a bit more furniture and missing curtains and a couple of lamps, but altogether my home looks relatively nice. Looks like me. It's almost like I'm a real adult, with the cleaning and keeping things in order.
And I've discovered this week that while I still can't manage watching any kind of tv show (not since the hospital), I can actually manage to watch a movie. Nice, but strange. Usually it's been the other way around. Maybe, soon, I'll try watching at tv show again. I'm so behind on everything. And I read a whole book, another first since the hospital. Haven't read all that much since then. Maybe it just takes a bit of effort.
There's the father of my niece in this one. Tomi osaa tehdä pinkan. :D
But I'll listen and I won't judge and I'll keep your secrets. So I'm told, and I suppose it's true enough. Sometimes I think that's not what I'd want people to think of me, simply because then at least they wouldn't tell me things that make me cry myself to sleep. And wouldn't talk so easily to me of things that are illegal or immoral or just plain painful or too private. But I suppose that it doesn't help that I ask and tell them I'll listen in case they want to talk.
It's been a heavy sort of week (or couple of) and tomorrow won't be happy either. But my apartment is clean and I've managed to get all of my things into their own places. Finally. I could still do with a bit more furniture and missing curtains and a couple of lamps, but altogether my home looks relatively nice. Looks like me. It's almost like I'm a real adult, with the cleaning and keeping things in order.
And I've discovered this week that while I still can't manage watching any kind of tv show (not since the hospital), I can actually manage to watch a movie. Nice, but strange. Usually it's been the other way around. Maybe, soon, I'll try watching at tv show again. I'm so behind on everything. And I read a whole book, another first since the hospital. Haven't read all that much since then. Maybe it just takes a bit of effort.
There's the father of my niece in this one. Tomi osaa tehdä pinkan. :D
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