'Talk about the day' our family tradition.
I've been thinking about this for awhile and would like to get it down on paper, so to speak. We have a tradition we started with Eryn once she got verbal. We end each day with our 'talk about the day'. We pop in with each child as they lay in bed, or stand up next them in top bunk, and we ask, “what was good about your day today?” followed by “was there anything not so good about your day” and ending with, “what was best about your day?”.
This process has taken quite a few changes along the way, when she was quite young it was very short, then it got very long while she tried to remember her day - that was around 3year old kinder - then it got quite intricate for awhile. Emma and Andrew took it a different way last year, and Emma's starts off with a 'silly' what was good about your day. The Emma answers are pretty standard, and it's very much routine, same answers every night;
Poking you in the eye!
Poking you in the mouth!
Tickling you!
Breaking your glasses!
Etc.
To which we have to be very indignant and exclaim in disgust “Get out of town!” and “You're on your own!” After that we ask her if there was anything bad about her day and she puts super sad face “Yes.. all of it”. We exclaim again, and then go to the REAL talk about the day. Her first real ones are always, unless something super super has happened, “liking you, loving you'. I also quite often get “cos you're a good girl mummy. Good job”. It's a lovely way to wrap up our days.
For quite awhile we had actually dropped talking about the day with Eryn, mostly cos she's stay up a little later than Emma, then Emma would be asleep so we'd all be tiptoeing in. A few months back she asked if she could do it again, and have the silly one like Emma. We started doing it that night, and I've found it really fascinating. Without exception her 'silly good things', are the most, terrible, hideous things she can think up. It's really interesting to take part in because I think she is using it as a safety valve for what she thinks up.
Some examples from tonight were;
breaking every pair of glasses in the house, and all the phones.
Killing all our cats by throwing them outside in the bushfire.
Putting our house in the bushfire.
Throwing Emma's DS away.
Telling her best friends she hates him.
Etc
The first time we did it Emma was there, and there were some pretty strong ones, and Emma's started to get bigger and nastier. I reminded her that I wanted to hear HER ones, whatever she wanted to say, but hers not Eryn's, and now we do them separate. I kind of feel Emma's should get bigger just by herself, not through Eryn's.
I'm pretty sure that it's perfectly healthy for her to get the thoughts out, and I'm thinking that the more we make it OK for her to share anything she needs to without censoring her or reacting badly, the more she'll be able to share worries etc, but I have to say, sometimes I do find it a little challenging. Most days it's just interesting to watch though.
I'm rambling now aren't I?
Tired vicki.