Neurologist appointment
Today was my annual appointment with neurology to review my seizure situation and medication for same. All of my doctors are excellent. I have been seeing most of them for 10+ years. For all of that time Christopher went with me to my appointments. The empty chair next to me today made my doctor tearful. Me too. She hadn't been aware of Christopher's passing until she read the notes from my oncologist appointment. "I was happy to see that your MRI results were good anyway." she said. We discussed my mood which has been not so great. After answering a bunch of questions we agreed that starting me on a low dose of Zoloft. I believe that Lamictal has made me feel 'flat' emotionally. I'm not really happy and also not really sad. (Considering what's been going on in my life lately not being incredibly sad is perhaps not such a bad thing) I do prefer to experience my emotions whatever they may be. I used to wake up happy fairly often. I haven't woken up happy in years. I'd really like to have a happy morning again. Not being always tired would be nice too. Taking antidepressants seems to be a divisive thing. Some people think it's great. Others think they are evil and no one should ever take them. I don't know what side I'll be on after I've taken Zoloft for a while but for now, know that I've done the research and am willing to take the risks for the possibility of a positive change in my life.