"mary ann murphy"
my grandmother died a few hours ago. i've never experienced the death of someone so close before. it's a strange feeling, to say the least. but i'm okay. i'm not sad, not really. how could i be sad? i have so many beautiful memories of her swimming around in my brain. her trimming my hair on the front porch. her sneaking us cookies into the movie theatre. her scrawly handwriting covering our homemade vhs tapes. and the world is so beautiful. i can't stop thinking about how beautiful everything is. jasmine tea. black german shepherds. the moon in the daytime. and i had so much time with her. so many happy hours. so many perfect seconds. i feel so lucky to have had such an important person in my life. the last time we spoke, i knew it would be the last. i don't know why. i just knew. i think she knew too. and i've been dreaming of her so often the past few weeks. i felt it - like when you sense electricity in the air and you know a storm is coming, hours before it rains. i can say without hesitation that i loved her more than anything else on this earth. and she loved me too. and so i'm okay. thank you.