Another sunrise...
It's 4:11. I need to be up in about three hours. I have a 6-8 page paper due tomorrow on Kantian deontology along with three very important tests and one quiz. Because my laptop is broken I planned on using Krystin's computer to write and study. She also has an eight page paper due tomorrow and homework online. Trying to be considerate, I offered to use Ken's computer so she wouldn't have to rush and finish her paper by the time I got off work. She said she would probably be done by then. From work, I sent her a text message asking how the paper how was going and again offering to just use Ken's computer so I wouldn't inconvenience her. When I came home, she yelled insults at me from her bed and refused to talk to me. I checked my messages on the way to Ken's and I guess she thought that by offering to use Ken's computer I was using my paper as an excuse to go and see him. I've seen Ken everyday since he came back from Tucson; I definitely don't need to start making up excuses to see him now. I don't understand how I could possibly be wronging her in anyway by going to Ken's when we both have so much to get done and she was sleeping anyway. Since I've been at Ken's I've barely made a dent in the paper and have only given what would generously be called a cursory glance to the study material for one class. Most of my time here has been spent staring stupidly at the computer screen with the TV blaring in the background. Despite my efforts of studying all week I am completely unprepared for every class tomorrow. I'm incredibly frustrated and angry with myself for once again putting myself in this position. My frustrating evening has culminated in a pretty big fight between me and Ken as well. I'm sitting downstairs by myself feeling remorseful and craving attention but forced to continue writing and studying while I watch the time I have left to sleep quickly dissipate, I'm definitely too stubborn to admit that I'm sorry and want nothing more than to crawl into bed and fall asleep in his arms. Maybe it's better that way though, no matter how much I want to, I won't be sleeping tonight.