Oh hai. Iz makes entrees.
Last night was a quality evening. I really wanted to be outside or have an evening with friends. I felt a little nutty after Wednesday nights doggy "rescue" response, thus made a few calls. Got a few "I'll call you when I'm off"s. Never got the calls until later, one never even happened. Then I text Mark a sadface and he's at my house in like 10 minutes. I love Mark G. Which is good considering - he did blow a smoke ring when I bet he couldn't - the bet - my hand in marriage in 5 years. Note to self: Don't bet body parts or soul in future.
Mark and I just sat outside and talked about what's been going on in each other's lives. What's coming up. Then we went in my apartment and played guitar for each other. He has a new song and I really love it.
Then I show my embarrassing recording of JD playing from a month ago (before he left for China). It's terrible quality on my phone, but Mark knows the song - so he sings along and begins playing it. The part he sings I am pretty sure is the part about me.
"This might make you sad,
I know your smile will make you lots of friends,
and your friends are good for you.
...
I'm writing letters to the future...
In hopes it will get better, oh yeah."
Then Mark plays this little chug-chug train song and I say, "That's cute, is it original?"
"JD's..."
I swear I'm going to not care someday. But for now, I miss him. I miss us being good. Not like right before he left - that was awkward and negative. I want cute little JD back with his excitement, anxiety, and little puppy eyes. I seriously pray for him at least 4-5 times a week. That he's happy. That his trip is all he hopes and needs. That we'll be okay, even if "we" means friends or acquaintances. Or nothing. Melissa is right, I felt like he was on vacation. Until last night. I love Mark so much, but I can't help but associate the two boys together. They were best friends.
I will not care so much someday.
****
On a different (less heartbreaking!) note: I am starting with a personal trainer on Saturday. Please see picture below. She is a muscle-ly mom and seems very nice over the telephone. I hope she can help whip me into shape with some new ideas and a meal plan of sorts. I just need a little extra encouragement and for my body to stop freaking out. Seriously, it's freaking out. I know you really needed to know this ...my boobs are like one size bigger. No, I'm not prego...but ONE SIZE. They are already huge. Sheesh.
****
Last tidbit, unrelated (note the stars mean "Oh crap, huge subject change")...my birthday is coming up and I kind of hate it. I never really liked planning my own birthday or making a big deal - because big deals lead to big disappointments. My dad says birthdays shouldn't be a big deal after 15, which I don't believe is entirely true. You want your friends to be happy you were born. (BTW - Liz, I'm happy you were born - since that is approaching!)
My friends are discussing us camping out at a blue grass festival but not actually going to the blue grass festival itself. I grew up going to said festival and think it's sort of silly to camp out 4 hours away in a not-so-scenic area with 1,000+ campers just because the "jam sessions" will be cool. Sounds like 48 hours of binge drinking. Not really my idea of a fun-filled weekend. Plus, my mom and her boyfriend Gordon would be inside the festival - where we would not be. Maybe I am just being cranky? that might be partial to above, see "freaking out". I'm like wikipedia without the links in my journal. Oh hai.
Wikipedia, my life. Definition: awesometown. No, really. Things are great. It's almost lunchtime and I'm gonna get Subway so I can win millions of dollars playing their Scrabble game. Or just so I can eat a low-fat sub before I get money at da' bank.
Spellcheck that shit. <3 Bye.
P.S. She's my trainer. That's right.
Mark and I just sat outside and talked about what's been going on in each other's lives. What's coming up. Then we went in my apartment and played guitar for each other. He has a new song and I really love it.
Then I show my embarrassing recording of JD playing from a month ago (before he left for China). It's terrible quality on my phone, but Mark knows the song - so he sings along and begins playing it. The part he sings I am pretty sure is the part about me.
"This might make you sad,
I know your smile will make you lots of friends,
and your friends are good for you.
...
I'm writing letters to the future...
In hopes it will get better, oh yeah."
Then Mark plays this little chug-chug train song and I say, "That's cute, is it original?"
"JD's..."
I swear I'm going to not care someday. But for now, I miss him. I miss us being good. Not like right before he left - that was awkward and negative. I want cute little JD back with his excitement, anxiety, and little puppy eyes. I seriously pray for him at least 4-5 times a week. That he's happy. That his trip is all he hopes and needs. That we'll be okay, even if "we" means friends or acquaintances. Or nothing. Melissa is right, I felt like he was on vacation. Until last night. I love Mark so much, but I can't help but associate the two boys together. They were best friends.
I will not care so much someday.
****
On a different (less heartbreaking!) note: I am starting with a personal trainer on Saturday. Please see picture below. She is a muscle-ly mom and seems very nice over the telephone. I hope she can help whip me into shape with some new ideas and a meal plan of sorts. I just need a little extra encouragement and for my body to stop freaking out. Seriously, it's freaking out. I know you really needed to know this ...my boobs are like one size bigger. No, I'm not prego...but ONE SIZE. They are already huge. Sheesh.
****
Last tidbit, unrelated (note the stars mean "Oh crap, huge subject change")...my birthday is coming up and I kind of hate it. I never really liked planning my own birthday or making a big deal - because big deals lead to big disappointments. My dad says birthdays shouldn't be a big deal after 15, which I don't believe is entirely true. You want your friends to be happy you were born. (BTW - Liz, I'm happy you were born - since that is approaching!)
My friends are discussing us camping out at a blue grass festival but not actually going to the blue grass festival itself. I grew up going to said festival and think it's sort of silly to camp out 4 hours away in a not-so-scenic area with 1,000+ campers just because the "jam sessions" will be cool. Sounds like 48 hours of binge drinking. Not really my idea of a fun-filled weekend. Plus, my mom and her boyfriend Gordon would be inside the festival - where we would not be. Maybe I am just being cranky? that might be partial to above, see "freaking out". I'm like wikipedia without the links in my journal. Oh hai.
Wikipedia, my life. Definition: awesometown. No, really. Things are great. It's almost lunchtime and I'm gonna get Subway so I can win millions of dollars playing their Scrabble game. Or just so I can eat a low-fat sub before I get money at da' bank.
Spellcheck that shit. <3 Bye.
P.S. She's my trainer. That's right.