(no subject)
ahh I totally keep forgetting to update this thing! I always read what everyone else has written..and then either run outta time or totally forget that there's more to do!
hmmm..whats new? soo sick of fighting, I hate it! Everything has been amazing with Kevin and I, cept for the last two days (things are fine now though). I get soo frustrated cuz I feel like I give up so much of what I wanna do, so that he can do what he wants. For example, I never get to see my friends cuz we always go out with his and cuz mine are usually busy with school or work scheduals now, but when I get the chance to see mine, something "more important" comes up and I'm sick of it. I'm also totally sick of coming dead last to his field hockey...the boy lives and breaths for field hockey. For the most part, it's just been things like ok..we have plans with my friends..but then turns out he has a game that he wants me to come watch so I miss out on what I wanna do for him, or his field hockey friends. They're nice, I like them and I don't mind going out with them at all, mostly cuz Ness is amazing, she's soo nice and funny and Crover's there...who I've known forever and is a great friend. The others are nice...but sorta a fake...ionno if I like you or not, but I'll pretend to anyways, nice. So it makes me feel strange and not really wanna go out with them. Last night was bad though, I was soooooooooooooo excited to see my friends...but his poker game with them lasted 4 hours longer than anticipated...how convenient, and then my friends decided to go home early..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! damnit..o well.. I think the worst though is how we're saving our money to move to Australia in January, and that's gunna take a hell of a lot of saving to do but then Kevin has the opportunity to go to NYC for 3 days for a tournament...clencher is...it costs 2000$..so goodbye Australia. It's gunna take too long to save up that money and pay for NYC trip for him, so realistically, Australia won't be happening. What do I do? Sit around and wait? I could start working on my career or whatever cuz I'll be outta school and employable by then, or I could go to Japan with my family, but then I don't really wanna do another family trip, I could travel to Europe and live there for a year which was my original plan...but now I have no1 to do that with...ahhh life is soo frustrating! What do I do? It's soo hard when you have such strong feelings for someone, but I don't want to live my life, through his! :( I wish he could understand this more. But at the same time, I understand why he wants to go to NYC and play field hockey and stuff because he's soo talented and amazing at it, but its soo frustrating when it effects everything. What do I do?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????
On a happier note...I GOT GUINEA PIGS!!!!!!! :D:D:D about time damnit! 2 male, 7 week old piggys! haah they're soo cute...Snurple and Spike...guess who named Snurple...=kevin!! hahahaha should I be worrying about this? :S and NO...don't bother asking anymore...I am most definatly NOT going to eat them...EVER!!
ahh going back to school tomorrow..NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the two week break was soo nice to have! I don't want to have to get up at 7am every morning agian! haha you guys on summer vacation already are sooo lucky, being able to take advantage of the nice weather and beaches and all! haha
hmmm..whats new? soo sick of fighting, I hate it! Everything has been amazing with Kevin and I, cept for the last two days (things are fine now though). I get soo frustrated cuz I feel like I give up so much of what I wanna do, so that he can do what he wants. For example, I never get to see my friends cuz we always go out with his and cuz mine are usually busy with school or work scheduals now, but when I get the chance to see mine, something "more important" comes up and I'm sick of it. I'm also totally sick of coming dead last to his field hockey...the boy lives and breaths for field hockey. For the most part, it's just been things like ok..we have plans with my friends..but then turns out he has a game that he wants me to come watch so I miss out on what I wanna do for him, or his field hockey friends. They're nice, I like them and I don't mind going out with them at all, mostly cuz Ness is amazing, she's soo nice and funny and Crover's there...who I've known forever and is a great friend. The others are nice...but sorta a fake...ionno if I like you or not, but I'll pretend to anyways, nice. So it makes me feel strange and not really wanna go out with them. Last night was bad though, I was soooooooooooooo excited to see my friends...but his poker game with them lasted 4 hours longer than anticipated...how convenient, and then my friends decided to go home early..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! damnit..o well.. I think the worst though is how we're saving our money to move to Australia in January, and that's gunna take a hell of a lot of saving to do but then Kevin has the opportunity to go to NYC for 3 days for a tournament...clencher is...it costs 2000$..so goodbye Australia. It's gunna take too long to save up that money and pay for NYC trip for him, so realistically, Australia won't be happening. What do I do? Sit around and wait? I could start working on my career or whatever cuz I'll be outta school and employable by then, or I could go to Japan with my family, but then I don't really wanna do another family trip, I could travel to Europe and live there for a year which was my original plan...but now I have no1 to do that with...ahhh life is soo frustrating! What do I do? It's soo hard when you have such strong feelings for someone, but I don't want to live my life, through his! :( I wish he could understand this more. But at the same time, I understand why he wants to go to NYC and play field hockey and stuff because he's soo talented and amazing at it, but its soo frustrating when it effects everything. What do I do?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????
On a happier note...I GOT GUINEA PIGS!!!!!!! :D:D:D about time damnit! 2 male, 7 week old piggys! haah they're soo cute...Snurple and Spike...guess who named Snurple...=kevin!! hahahaha should I be worrying about this? :S and NO...don't bother asking anymore...I am most definatly NOT going to eat them...EVER!!
ahh going back to school tomorrow..NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the two week break was soo nice to have! I don't want to have to get up at 7am every morning agian! haha you guys on summer vacation already are sooo lucky, being able to take advantage of the nice weather and beaches and all! haha