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joesther April 22 2004, 08:14:13 UTC
I'll send you all the random hugs you want, if you can send them back. I knew it was coming, like you, but like you, I was in the land of denial. I mean, for heaven's sake, it's BRIAN!! How can this happen to Brian? And then I saw him at Woody's, stopping Justin from picking up the trick and I'm like "he's not going to tell him about the lump on his testicle, is he?" and then, bam, "Vic's dead" and I nearly had a heart attack on the spot. I mean, I knew it was coming... but I thought it was later. 409, or 410, and the only thing that could come to my mind was all the little hints that were alluding to the fight that Vic and Debbie had been having and then I started asking myself, "oh my God... he didn't die with her still mad at him, did he?" and if he did, how horrible is she going to feel, and how can they handle things now without their Vic? And what about Rodney? And Michael? And everyone? Vic is the the strength in that family, and the other strength is Brian and now he's sick too, and he's probably not going to tell anyone, at least not for a while, because, well, that's Brian, and so he'll try to continue being strong and tough and everything but on the inside he'll be dying... and oh my God, just typing this up is killing me.

Damn. *weeps*

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tinyblondeone April 22 2004, 08:21:19 UTC
Oh babe!! *holds arms out wide*
I keep trying to slap some sense into myself. "It's only a goddamn TV show, Rebecca" - but it's not working damnit!! I mean it's Vic!! And-and-and BRIAN!! And-and... *bawls*
I'm pretty sure Vic did die with he and Deb still fighting - and OMG I know! Deb's gonna be an absolute mess. Not to mention the rest of them - can you even imagine the funeral??
And we won't see this episode for weeks - which is the worst kind of torture. Damnit, I thought I was all cried out. :((

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joesther April 22 2004, 08:40:49 UTC
Oh hon!! *grabs you and holds you tight*

I know... isn't it awful!? I can't bear it. I'm literally at the end of my rope. I have no idea how we're going to make it through this, and the awfulest (hell if that's not a word, I'm making it one) part of it all, is when this show airs, I won't even be at home. Yes, I'll be in the states, which is good, but I'll be at a friend's house (I think - do we have an estimated airdate? I might still be at a hotel then...) and I don't think he has Showtime, so I doubt I'll be able to see it.

Damndamndamn. I have no idea how I'll get to watch it. I might have to beg him to subscribe for me for the time I'm there... how pathetic is that?

I hope sooo much that Brian is able to at least talk to Justin about the lump, just so that he can share with him the fear that is inside him. Yeah, fine, he doesn't have to tell the family quite yet, but if he resorts to his usual methods of pain management here, I swear I'll have to look for a double dose of Xanax or something. That poor, poor man. I just love him so much and that pain... losing his friend and then not knowing if he's going to lose his life?!? Holy shit Cowlip, what do you want of him?

I don't want to imagine the funeral. I hate funerals. I despise them. The one good thing about them, is that at least people have each other to lean on, but considering this family and how disfunctional they are, who knows how much good that'll do. :( I just hope and pray that Justin'll be there for Brian and that Michael doesn't disappoint. He's grown up a lot so far (as per 401) so we'll see. Oh, and BEN!! HOLY SHIT!! If Vic did indeed die of AIDs related complications, which is what the spoilers all said he would, how in hell is this going to affect Ben's state of mind? I love Ben to death. Damn. Hug me tighter. Maybe together, we can create one sane person. :P

Yeah, I know it's just a TV show, but - like you - these people are in my heart. Ya know??

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tinyblondeone April 22 2004, 09:03:00 UTC
Yeah, I know it's just a TV show, but - like you - these people are in my heart. Ya know??

Abso-positively. :)

And I've been a terrible spoiler-ho these last few weeks, so I kinda know how the arc progresses, and how Brian deals. We'll all be OK in the end. :)

And trust me, I totally empathise with all the difficulties of accessing the show - being in Australia. Thank God for downloading, and friends who are willing to tape and send. :) You'll work something out.

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joesther April 22 2004, 09:23:26 UTC
Yeah, I'll work something out, I know. I have a friend who is, at this moment, making tapes for me, and I have another who is working out a way to send me a CD, so I'm fine. I just would love to be able to see it in real time, you know? But I think I miscalculated, anyway. I won't be leaving here till May 27th, so I likely will be able to see this one in near-to-real time. Hopefully it'll get better quickly.

I'm glad Brian deals alright. No, don't tell me how. So long as there isn't too much angst involved, I'll be fine. I can handle some, just not too much. :D I have a pretty large angst-capacity, but it's pretty full up these days. The B/J LJs did that to me. Not pretty. :P

I think we freaked viola69 out. Poor thing. :D She's been reading your LJ and was glad she hadn't had time to watch all the clips before work. I can't blame her. If I'd've had to go to work after seeing them, I'd be pretty worthless too. :P

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