really shitty shit

May 24, 2007 00:02

ok, so before i vent all the shitty shit that has been happening i just want to make it clear that no one has to resopond to any of this...i would much rather hear a human respond then a message typed onto a screen. I am just typing my shitty shitiness because i don't want to bother anybody this late at night, well its not too late (but still).

i am sad because:
-my boyfriend and i are broken up (rest in peace, my plans for summer, for they never even had a chance to live to begin with: aka: i had a lot of plans with my beloved ex: working out together, kai-aching, going to canada, watching movies, eating out, looking at colleges that would suit him better than where he is now, go to live jazz shows, go to baseball games, etc. etc.)...why does love hurt so bad?
-i am in bellevue
-my family wants (more like needs) to move out of bellevue because of money/business
-our green tea company is going to be sold by a stupid-wise-ass-prick whom doesn't know english (and just happens to be the best friend of my new ex).
-my mom and dad are sad and upset and don't know how to express it.
-i lost my i-pod nano
-i have no money to get a new one (and my parents are unwilling to help because...they can't afford it themselves)
-i need a job, but i leave in 2 months anyways (what job will hire me?...unless i'm an asshole and pretend i will be in washington longer then i say...which will just make me feel guilty)
-my close friends are going to be leaving for practically the whole summer
-and i am just sad for the sake of being sad...i feel a little stupid too.

i know this all sounds like bitching but i know i will do better...i have decided to plan things to do by myself, such as: friday: go to the Seattle Art Museum alone and be sad and amazed at colorful (or non-colorful) things.

i think i will just keep going on with as big of a smile as i can make and do what i can to make the best of my summer...as shitty as this shit is, i am alive here and now.

i'll try to jazz it up with my own funk.

wow. it feels good to post...
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