(no subject)
I should be asleep, but I'm wide awake. I crawled into bed about 11:00. I may have dozed a little here and there, but I'm not really sure. I just know I was fidgety the whole time and got out of bed because I had gotten really hot and it was uncomfortable. Now I feel gross...and I'm wide awake. boo hiss.
I rearranged my room today. And I think I'm finished cleaning. It was big ordeal. I'm putting up new blinds tomorrow. I'm excited! I think I like the new arrangement. At first I was skeptical, but it's really starting to grow on me.
Just for the record...finals suck. Normally I'm fine with them. They really don't bother me all that much, but I'm so ready to be done right now it's not even funny.
My problem is that I have a picture of the future in my head. I want to be there. I want to bypass everything and just be there already. But I know I can't. I wouldn't want to miss out on everything that's happening now...yada yada yada. I don't know. I just don't feel settled. And there's something in me that keeps saying, this is where you should be. And I know I'll be there eventually, but I'm impatient. I have a taste of it and it tastes really good.
That sounds like I'm not happy. I'm extremely happy. And I think that's what's making the patience so difficult, though I don't think it should. If my gut is right. And that future that I see is not of my own will, but something greater than even I can see...then I know now is part of it. I know that you're not going anywhere.
Anyway. I'm going to see if deadliest catch is on tv and let that lull me to sleep.
Good night. sleep tight. don't let the bed bugs bite.
side note...i googled bed bugs. they're creepy critters. maybe that's why i can't sleep.
I rearranged my room today. And I think I'm finished cleaning. It was big ordeal. I'm putting up new blinds tomorrow. I'm excited! I think I like the new arrangement. At first I was skeptical, but it's really starting to grow on me.
Just for the record...finals suck. Normally I'm fine with them. They really don't bother me all that much, but I'm so ready to be done right now it's not even funny.
My problem is that I have a picture of the future in my head. I want to be there. I want to bypass everything and just be there already. But I know I can't. I wouldn't want to miss out on everything that's happening now...yada yada yada. I don't know. I just don't feel settled. And there's something in me that keeps saying, this is where you should be. And I know I'll be there eventually, but I'm impatient. I have a taste of it and it tastes really good.
That sounds like I'm not happy. I'm extremely happy. And I think that's what's making the patience so difficult, though I don't think it should. If my gut is right. And that future that I see is not of my own will, but something greater than even I can see...then I know now is part of it. I know that you're not going anywhere.
Anyway. I'm going to see if deadliest catch is on tv and let that lull me to sleep.
Good night. sleep tight. don't let the bed bugs bite.
side note...i googled bed bugs. they're creepy critters. maybe that's why i can't sleep.