FIC: Shenanigans of the Drunken Variety
Title: Shenanigans of the Drunken Variety
Pairing: Misha Collins/Danneel Harris
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2415
Disclaimer: This didn't happen. I made it all up.
Warnings: Pegging, drunk sex, and Misha using the "F" word a lot
Summary: The original prompt is Misha/Danneel, messy, drunken sex with pegging. That's exactly what it is.
Author's Notes: For May of Misha Madness. I wrote the first 500 words right after claiming and then I stalled and couldn't get anyone naked. Then I got drunk Friday night and wrote the porn. IDEK you guys. Thanks to obsessed1 for the superquick and superbadass beta<3 You rock my world! And thanks to pez_gurl for the original prompt AND for laughing at my drunk ass on Twitter while I wrote this.
Misha doesn’t make it a habit of perving on other people’s girlfriends. But Danneel, she’s something else. The first time he meets her, she’s up in Vancouver visiting for a long weekend, and she just sizes him up and shakes his hand with a sly grin. After she matches him, drink for drink at the bar the next night, Misha’s pretty damn impressed.
He’s slightly confused when he walks into the wardrobe trailer at the absolute worst moment and interrupts Jensen pulling Jared’s shirt off, groping his chest and kissing him.
“Oh fucking shit!” Misha’s hand flies to his eyes, shielding his eyes from his costars. Jared’s laughing, loud and booming.
“Sorry, Misha.” Misha risks uncovering his eyes, and sees Jensen and Jared leaning against each other, both looking amused and all smiles. “Probably shoulda locked the door, huh?” Jensen smirks and then yelps, and Misha can see Jared’s hand down at Jensen’s ass.
“Christ, you think? I think I’m blind now.” Misha blinks and Jared starts laughing again. “Well I’m exhausted, just gimme a minute and you guys can go back to uh…” Misha waves. “Whatever you were doing.” And Jared’s laughing again and Misha is seriously confused.
Because what kind of guy has a girl like Danneel and chooses to spend his free time undressing Jared Padalecki in wardrobe trailers?
***
It’s after that convention in LA, and Misha’s at dinner with Danneel and Jensen and Jared, laughing over beer and wine. He’s pushed between Jensen and Danneel, and every once in awhile, Danneel’s leg brushes his when she’s laughing or shifting in her seat. The drunker they get, the closer they sit together, and by the time the check comes, Danneel’s practically in his lap, her head resting in his shoulder. Jared’s looking more and more amused, sitting across the table and slowly draining his beer.
Misha would probably be paying more attention to what was actually going on, but he’s drunk. He’s very, very drunk. Someone trick-drunked him with all that wine.
“You trick-drunked me!” He points at Danneel accusingly as they wait outside for Jensen and Jared to bring the car around. She gives him a wicked grin.
“Maybe you’re just a lightweight.” She bumps her arm against his, and then stumbles into him. He catches her and wraps an arm around her shoulder.
“I think you’re the lightweight, Harris.” She shrugs and grins up at him, leaning into him more. They stand out there in the cold for another minute. “Where the fuck is Jensen?”
“Probably making out with Jared in the car.” Danneel giggles, losing her balance. “I hope they remember to get us.” She frowns and blinks up at Misha.
“Uh, yea.” Misha looks out at the street again, Danneel warm against his side and thinks what the fuck are you doing?
He spots Jared’s car coming around the corner before pulling up to the curb. Danneel’s still giggling a little as he holds the door open for her. She stumbles inside of the car, and Misha climbs in after her, careful not to stare at her ass. He risks a glance in the front seat, see’s Jensen grinning at him as Danneel moves closer to him.
“Y’all ready to go?” Jared looks back at them in the mirror, and Misha nods before he feels the car pull away from the curb.
***
For whatever reason, Misha decides he should get dropped off at Danneel’s place, rather than make Jared drive twenty minutes out of his way to drop Misha off.
Or maybe just because Danneel’s hand is inching up his thigh and Misha’s shifting in his seat, getting harder and harder.
This is how Misha ends up going home with Jensen’s girlfriend, except she’s mostly not his girlfriend because Jensen is “gay gay gay” (Danneel’s words, not his).
“I mean, he’s seriously hot and all, but I’m just doin’ him and Jared a favor.” She shrugs and slides a glass of water over the counter to Misha after they get dropped off. She drains her own glass and places it on the counter, hopping up and swinging her legs.
She’s wearing a tiny skirt, making her legs look impossibly long, and Misha just drinks his water faster and glances around, trying to look everywhere but Danneel. When he glances at her again, Danneel has a smug look on her face and she stretches her legs out before crossing them. Misha averts his eyes again and drinks more water, except his glass his empty.
Fuck it. Misha puts the glass on the counter and looks Danneel up and down. She grins and uncrosses her legs as Misha strides across the kitchen. He stops between her legs, his hands settling on her hips. She leans down and their mouths meet, sloppy and wet and Misha’s so fucking drunk and he doesn’t care. He slides his hands down to her thighs, pushing her legs further apart and Danneel just moans into his mouth. Misha slides his hands up her legs, and Danneel just widens her legs more.
“Fuck, I knew you’d be like this.” Misha grins against her mouth and strokes one finger along her panties and Danneel slips a little on the counter. She giggles against his mouth and Misha can’t help but laugh too.
“Holy shit, I am so fucking drunk,” Misha mumbles.
Danneel spreads her legs more and Misha can’t help it, he slides one finger inside her panties along her slit. She’s soaking wet, and she moans and leans back against the cabinets. He hears her head bang and she lets out a yelp before moaning as he strokes her clit. She’s moaning like crazy and pushing against his fingers and Misha slides another inside her panties and Danneel hitches her hips up. Misha pushes her panties down as Danneel lifts herself up off the counter. He pulls her underwear off of her and throws them on the floor before sliding his hand back up to her clit.
She moans as his fingers tease her cunt, and he slowly slides two fingers inside of her all the way to the knuckle. Danneel lets out a moan and spreads her legs more.
“Fuckin’ hell,” Danneel says and pulls Misha in for a sloppy kiss. She tastes like fruity wine and Misha moans, their tongues sliding together all sloppy and messy.
“Jesus fuck Harris,” Misha grinds his hips against hers.
“I wanna fuck you,” she moans and fucking hell yea.
He stumbles backwards away from her and Danneel smirks before hopping off the counter. She pushes him backwards and Misha can’t even really see anymore. He bumps against a doorframe and Danneel pushes him against it, sliding her hands up into his hair and kissing him. Misha moans, his hands grabbing at her hips and pulling her closer. They grind together, Misha’s dick hard against her and Danneel moans and just grinds against him harder.
Danneel finally pushes him away from the wall and into her bedroom. Misha stumbles over something on the floor and flops onto the bed, the room spinning as he tries to focus on the ceiling. Danneel suddenly comes into focus, her hands landing on his chest. She grins down at him before bending down to kiss him, her tongue hot against his.
Misha’s just starting to get his bearings again, his hands resting on her hips when Danneel suddenly sits up. The room spins as he tries to focus on her face. He doesn’t know when it happened, but he’s not wearing a shirt anymore and his jeans are unzipped.
“What…?” He blinks up at her.
“I meant what I said, I wanna fuck you,” she says and suddenly slides off of him. Misha groans and rubs his forehead. A few seconds later Danneel’s hovering over him again and Misha tries to blink her figure back into focus.
She’s holding a fucking dildo.
“Fucking fuck what the fuck?” Misha doesn’t even know what he’s saying anymore because all he can see is the fucking dildo in her hand.
“C’mon Collins, I wanna fuck you.’ Danneel leans down and whispers in his ear, “It’ll be so fuckin’ hot”.
And fuck, he can see it. Danneel shoving her fingers inside his ass and then sliding inside of him, her tits swaying as she fucks him and fuck. He’s drunk enough to go with it.
“Fuck, okay yeah,” he says.
Danneel leans over him and reaches into her bedside table and Misha can’t help but reach up and press his fingers over her nipples. He can hear Danneel moaning and he strokes harder. Danneel slaps his side and Misha grins at her as she reaches and grabs a tube of lube.
“I don’t wanna know why you have that, do I?” Misha asks
Danneel laughs and shakes her head. She pushes at his jeans and Misha lifts his hips to push his jeans off. His hands feel almost numb as pushes his boxers off and Danneel stares down at him.
“I wanna see…” he starts, and Danneel smirks before pulling her shirt off and over her head.
Her tits are practically spilling out of her bra and Misha moans and slides a hand up her back. She arches as he unhooks her bra. Fucking hell, he’s so fucking drunk but Danneel is hot as fuck and he doesn’t care what she wants. He’s so fucking hard and Danneel is straddling him and it’s really fucking hot and fuck.
Danneel slides off of him and pushes his legs up and Misha just goes with it. He spreads his legs wider and he can feel her hands on his thighs. Suddenly she’s tracing a finger along his balls, wet and sloppy and Misha moans. He spreads his legs wider and then there’s a finger tracing along his hole before pushing inside.
Holy fuck, he’s done this before and it always feels a little strange at first but right now it feels so fucking good. Danneel moans and pushes in all the way to the knuckle, before pulling out and pushing harder inside. He thinks she’s got two fingers inside now except he could give a fuck because it feels so fucking good. He pushes down on her fingers and Danneel twists just right and Misha groans.
“God Danneel, please,” he moans and spreads his legs wider. He can make out Danneel grinning and grabs at her before connecting with her shoulder and pulling her down.
She kisses him sloppily and Misha slides his hands down to her ass, fingers clutching her hard. He gets lost in the kiss for a few minutes; her mouth feels so fucking good. She suddenly pulls away.
“I’m gonna fuck you now.”
“Go for it.”
Misha stretches lazily and Danneel shifts away from him for a minute. He blinks a few times and watches as she straps that…thing against her cunt. She moans and strokes it a few times, working her hips lazily before opening her eyes. He feels her hands against his thighs, lifting them before he feels something hard nudging against his hole.
He has a few seconds doubt and thinks, holy shit what am I doing before Danneel pushes inside of him in one slow push.
And fuck Danneel really fucking knows what she’s doing because it feels so fucking good, the dildo filling him all the way and her hips flushed against his. She’s breathing heavy and Misha’s hard as a fucking rock and leaking everywhere.
“Knew you were a fucking slut,” Danneel slurs before pulling out and pushing all the way back in.
Fucking hell, he’s been fucked before but not like this. The dildo is hard but Danneel’s pushing inside of him slow and sloppy and it feels so fucking good. She’s pulling all the way out and pushing back in and every time she bottoms out she pushes against that fucking prostate and fuck it feels good.
“Fuck, Danneel,” Misha moans and pushes his hips up, meeting her thrusts. It’s so fucking hot, that fake fucking cock filling him up and Misha can’t help but moan and spread his legs more. He feels like a slut begging for cock as Danneel fucks him with sloppy thrusts and moan against his neck. He watches her tits sway as she fucks him and Misha can’t fucking help himself, he reaches up and presses his palm against them. He thumbs at her nipple and she moans. She pushes inside of him harder and slides all the way out. Misha can feel the fucking dildo teasing his balls before it’s pushing back inside of his hole. He can’t take it anymore, reaches down and grabs his dick and fuck that feels good. He strokes himself and he can hear Danneel moan as she fucks harder. It feels so fucking good.
Misha jerks himself off, watching Danneel’s tits sway as she fucks him, hitting his prostate and moaning like fucking crazy. He comes out of nowhere, shooting fucking everywhere and Danneel moans and fucks into him harder. He spreads his legs more, can feel the burn in his fucking thighs and the ceiling is still spinning as Danneel fucks him.
She pulls out of him and Misha moans as she leans down and licks across his stomach, cleaning up his come. He watches as she grins and leans back, pushing three fingers inside of her cunt. She moans and Misha watches as she gets herself off, fingers fucking fast. She comes and flops down on the bed next to him, breathing heavy.
Misha pushes his face against her neck. Danneel reaches up and rubs a hand in his hair before pushing two of her fingers into his mouth. He moans around them and Danneel pushes them deeper and pulls them out, stroking his bottom lip.
“Fucking hell.” Misha kisses her shoulder.
When he wakes up the next morning, his head is pounding and his mouth is dry and he feels equally really fucking disgusting and really satisfied. He blinks against the sun shining through the window and then buries his face in his pillow and falls back asleep. When he wakes up a few hours later he’s still hungover as fuck, but Danneel’s up already and he manages to get himself down to the kitchen. She looks tired but pushes a fresh cup of coffee over to him. Misha grins and takes it and feels pretty fucking good about the whole thing.
Pairing: Misha Collins/Danneel Harris
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2415
Disclaimer: This didn't happen. I made it all up.
Warnings: Pegging, drunk sex, and Misha using the "F" word a lot
Summary: The original prompt is Misha/Danneel, messy, drunken sex with pegging. That's exactly what it is.
Author's Notes: For May of Misha Madness. I wrote the first 500 words right after claiming and then I stalled and couldn't get anyone naked. Then I got drunk Friday night and wrote the porn. IDEK you guys. Thanks to obsessed1 for the superquick and superbadass beta<3 You rock my world! And thanks to pez_gurl for the original prompt AND for laughing at my drunk ass on Twitter while I wrote this.
Misha doesn’t make it a habit of perving on other people’s girlfriends. But Danneel, she’s something else. The first time he meets her, she’s up in Vancouver visiting for a long weekend, and she just sizes him up and shakes his hand with a sly grin. After she matches him, drink for drink at the bar the next night, Misha’s pretty damn impressed.
He’s slightly confused when he walks into the wardrobe trailer at the absolute worst moment and interrupts Jensen pulling Jared’s shirt off, groping his chest and kissing him.
“Oh fucking shit!” Misha’s hand flies to his eyes, shielding his eyes from his costars. Jared’s laughing, loud and booming.
“Sorry, Misha.” Misha risks uncovering his eyes, and sees Jensen and Jared leaning against each other, both looking amused and all smiles. “Probably shoulda locked the door, huh?” Jensen smirks and then yelps, and Misha can see Jared’s hand down at Jensen’s ass.
“Christ, you think? I think I’m blind now.” Misha blinks and Jared starts laughing again. “Well I’m exhausted, just gimme a minute and you guys can go back to uh…” Misha waves. “Whatever you were doing.” And Jared’s laughing again and Misha is seriously confused.
Because what kind of guy has a girl like Danneel and chooses to spend his free time undressing Jared Padalecki in wardrobe trailers?
***
It’s after that convention in LA, and Misha’s at dinner with Danneel and Jensen and Jared, laughing over beer and wine. He’s pushed between Jensen and Danneel, and every once in awhile, Danneel’s leg brushes his when she’s laughing or shifting in her seat. The drunker they get, the closer they sit together, and by the time the check comes, Danneel’s practically in his lap, her head resting in his shoulder. Jared’s looking more and more amused, sitting across the table and slowly draining his beer.
Misha would probably be paying more attention to what was actually going on, but he’s drunk. He’s very, very drunk. Someone trick-drunked him with all that wine.
“You trick-drunked me!” He points at Danneel accusingly as they wait outside for Jensen and Jared to bring the car around. She gives him a wicked grin.
“Maybe you’re just a lightweight.” She bumps her arm against his, and then stumbles into him. He catches her and wraps an arm around her shoulder.
“I think you’re the lightweight, Harris.” She shrugs and grins up at him, leaning into him more. They stand out there in the cold for another minute. “Where the fuck is Jensen?”
“Probably making out with Jared in the car.” Danneel giggles, losing her balance. “I hope they remember to get us.” She frowns and blinks up at Misha.
“Uh, yea.” Misha looks out at the street again, Danneel warm against his side and thinks what the fuck are you doing?
He spots Jared’s car coming around the corner before pulling up to the curb. Danneel’s still giggling a little as he holds the door open for her. She stumbles inside of the car, and Misha climbs in after her, careful not to stare at her ass. He risks a glance in the front seat, see’s Jensen grinning at him as Danneel moves closer to him.
“Y’all ready to go?” Jared looks back at them in the mirror, and Misha nods before he feels the car pull away from the curb.
***
For whatever reason, Misha decides he should get dropped off at Danneel’s place, rather than make Jared drive twenty minutes out of his way to drop Misha off.
Or maybe just because Danneel’s hand is inching up his thigh and Misha’s shifting in his seat, getting harder and harder.
This is how Misha ends up going home with Jensen’s girlfriend, except she’s mostly not his girlfriend because Jensen is “gay gay gay” (Danneel’s words, not his).
“I mean, he’s seriously hot and all, but I’m just doin’ him and Jared a favor.” She shrugs and slides a glass of water over the counter to Misha after they get dropped off. She drains her own glass and places it on the counter, hopping up and swinging her legs.
She’s wearing a tiny skirt, making her legs look impossibly long, and Misha just drinks his water faster and glances around, trying to look everywhere but Danneel. When he glances at her again, Danneel has a smug look on her face and she stretches her legs out before crossing them. Misha averts his eyes again and drinks more water, except his glass his empty.
Fuck it. Misha puts the glass on the counter and looks Danneel up and down. She grins and uncrosses her legs as Misha strides across the kitchen. He stops between her legs, his hands settling on her hips. She leans down and their mouths meet, sloppy and wet and Misha’s so fucking drunk and he doesn’t care. He slides his hands down to her thighs, pushing her legs further apart and Danneel just moans into his mouth. Misha slides his hands up her legs, and Danneel just widens her legs more.
“Fuck, I knew you’d be like this.” Misha grins against her mouth and strokes one finger along her panties and Danneel slips a little on the counter. She giggles against his mouth and Misha can’t help but laugh too.
“Holy shit, I am so fucking drunk,” Misha mumbles.
Danneel spreads her legs more and Misha can’t help it, he slides one finger inside her panties along her slit. She’s soaking wet, and she moans and leans back against the cabinets. He hears her head bang and she lets out a yelp before moaning as he strokes her clit. She’s moaning like crazy and pushing against his fingers and Misha slides another inside her panties and Danneel hitches her hips up. Misha pushes her panties down as Danneel lifts herself up off the counter. He pulls her underwear off of her and throws them on the floor before sliding his hand back up to her clit.
She moans as his fingers tease her cunt, and he slowly slides two fingers inside of her all the way to the knuckle. Danneel lets out a moan and spreads her legs more.
“Fuckin’ hell,” Danneel says and pulls Misha in for a sloppy kiss. She tastes like fruity wine and Misha moans, their tongues sliding together all sloppy and messy.
“Jesus fuck Harris,” Misha grinds his hips against hers.
“I wanna fuck you,” she moans and fucking hell yea.
He stumbles backwards away from her and Danneel smirks before hopping off the counter. She pushes him backwards and Misha can’t even really see anymore. He bumps against a doorframe and Danneel pushes him against it, sliding her hands up into his hair and kissing him. Misha moans, his hands grabbing at her hips and pulling her closer. They grind together, Misha’s dick hard against her and Danneel moans and just grinds against him harder.
Danneel finally pushes him away from the wall and into her bedroom. Misha stumbles over something on the floor and flops onto the bed, the room spinning as he tries to focus on the ceiling. Danneel suddenly comes into focus, her hands landing on his chest. She grins down at him before bending down to kiss him, her tongue hot against his.
Misha’s just starting to get his bearings again, his hands resting on her hips when Danneel suddenly sits up. The room spins as he tries to focus on her face. He doesn’t know when it happened, but he’s not wearing a shirt anymore and his jeans are unzipped.
“What…?” He blinks up at her.
“I meant what I said, I wanna fuck you,” she says and suddenly slides off of him. Misha groans and rubs his forehead. A few seconds later Danneel’s hovering over him again and Misha tries to blink her figure back into focus.
She’s holding a fucking dildo.
“Fucking fuck what the fuck?” Misha doesn’t even know what he’s saying anymore because all he can see is the fucking dildo in her hand.
“C’mon Collins, I wanna fuck you.’ Danneel leans down and whispers in his ear, “It’ll be so fuckin’ hot”.
And fuck, he can see it. Danneel shoving her fingers inside his ass and then sliding inside of him, her tits swaying as she fucks him and fuck. He’s drunk enough to go with it.
“Fuck, okay yeah,” he says.
Danneel leans over him and reaches into her bedside table and Misha can’t help but reach up and press his fingers over her nipples. He can hear Danneel moaning and he strokes harder. Danneel slaps his side and Misha grins at her as she reaches and grabs a tube of lube.
“I don’t wanna know why you have that, do I?” Misha asks
Danneel laughs and shakes her head. She pushes at his jeans and Misha lifts his hips to push his jeans off. His hands feel almost numb as pushes his boxers off and Danneel stares down at him.
“I wanna see…” he starts, and Danneel smirks before pulling her shirt off and over her head.
Her tits are practically spilling out of her bra and Misha moans and slides a hand up her back. She arches as he unhooks her bra. Fucking hell, he’s so fucking drunk but Danneel is hot as fuck and he doesn’t care what she wants. He’s so fucking hard and Danneel is straddling him and it’s really fucking hot and fuck.
Danneel slides off of him and pushes his legs up and Misha just goes with it. He spreads his legs wider and he can feel her hands on his thighs. Suddenly she’s tracing a finger along his balls, wet and sloppy and Misha moans. He spreads his legs wider and then there’s a finger tracing along his hole before pushing inside.
Holy fuck, he’s done this before and it always feels a little strange at first but right now it feels so fucking good. Danneel moans and pushes in all the way to the knuckle, before pulling out and pushing harder inside. He thinks she’s got two fingers inside now except he could give a fuck because it feels so fucking good. He pushes down on her fingers and Danneel twists just right and Misha groans.
“God Danneel, please,” he moans and spreads his legs wider. He can make out Danneel grinning and grabs at her before connecting with her shoulder and pulling her down.
She kisses him sloppily and Misha slides his hands down to her ass, fingers clutching her hard. He gets lost in the kiss for a few minutes; her mouth feels so fucking good. She suddenly pulls away.
“I’m gonna fuck you now.”
“Go for it.”
Misha stretches lazily and Danneel shifts away from him for a minute. He blinks a few times and watches as she straps that…thing against her cunt. She moans and strokes it a few times, working her hips lazily before opening her eyes. He feels her hands against his thighs, lifting them before he feels something hard nudging against his hole.
He has a few seconds doubt and thinks, holy shit what am I doing before Danneel pushes inside of him in one slow push.
And fuck Danneel really fucking knows what she’s doing because it feels so fucking good, the dildo filling him all the way and her hips flushed against his. She’s breathing heavy and Misha’s hard as a fucking rock and leaking everywhere.
“Knew you were a fucking slut,” Danneel slurs before pulling out and pushing all the way back in.
Fucking hell, he’s been fucked before but not like this. The dildo is hard but Danneel’s pushing inside of him slow and sloppy and it feels so fucking good. She’s pulling all the way out and pushing back in and every time she bottoms out she pushes against that fucking prostate and fuck it feels good.
“Fuck, Danneel,” Misha moans and pushes his hips up, meeting her thrusts. It’s so fucking hot, that fake fucking cock filling him up and Misha can’t help but moan and spread his legs more. He feels like a slut begging for cock as Danneel fucks him with sloppy thrusts and moan against his neck. He watches her tits sway as she fucks him and Misha can’t fucking help himself, he reaches up and presses his palm against them. He thumbs at her nipple and she moans. She pushes inside of him harder and slides all the way out. Misha can feel the fucking dildo teasing his balls before it’s pushing back inside of his hole. He can’t take it anymore, reaches down and grabs his dick and fuck that feels good. He strokes himself and he can hear Danneel moan as she fucks harder. It feels so fucking good.
Misha jerks himself off, watching Danneel’s tits sway as she fucks him, hitting his prostate and moaning like fucking crazy. He comes out of nowhere, shooting fucking everywhere and Danneel moans and fucks into him harder. He spreads his legs more, can feel the burn in his fucking thighs and the ceiling is still spinning as Danneel fucks him.
She pulls out of him and Misha moans as she leans down and licks across his stomach, cleaning up his come. He watches as she grins and leans back, pushing three fingers inside of her cunt. She moans and Misha watches as she gets herself off, fingers fucking fast. She comes and flops down on the bed next to him, breathing heavy.
Misha pushes his face against her neck. Danneel reaches up and rubs a hand in his hair before pushing two of her fingers into his mouth. He moans around them and Danneel pushes them deeper and pulls them out, stroking his bottom lip.
“Fucking hell.” Misha kisses her shoulder.
When he wakes up the next morning, his head is pounding and his mouth is dry and he feels equally really fucking disgusting and really satisfied. He blinks against the sun shining through the window and then buries his face in his pillow and falls back asleep. When he wakes up a few hours later he’s still hungover as fuck, but Danneel’s up already and he manages to get himself down to the kitchen. She looks tired but pushes a fresh cup of coffee over to him. Misha grins and takes it and feels pretty fucking good about the whole thing.