What if...?
What if the world came to an end? Who would miss us? Who would remember us?
Nevermind.
It's not important.
I'm sitting here with the blood running down my thighs, because nobody can see it that way.
I'm sitting here with the tears running down my cheeks, dripping onto my chest, onto my desk...
And nobody sees it.
I'm sitting here, not even trying to cheer myself up. It's not going to happen. And what if it does? I'll just find something else later on to break that.
So why even try?
Why try to find a mood that's so easily destroyed?
Why do I even hide it anymore?
Is it truly worth it? I mean, maybe I just care too much about others to drag them down with me...
I'll just sit here and drown in my blood and tears alone, thank you.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter anymore.
I've found what I'm looking for, lost what I'm looking for...
I look ahead and find myself still looking backwards.
You know why?
Because it's safer to live in memories.
It's safer to let that darkness take you.
It's safer, because you KNOW what to expect. Living through memories is like rereading a book. You aren't saddened, surprised, hurt, taken advantage of...you already know what's going to happen. Just maybe this time, when you read it, you're in a different state of mind, so you take the meaning differently.
Anyway...I have what I want. I just don't know what to do with it.
I'm scared. I'm hurting. I'm...lost.
I'm kind of naked. Except for that wall that I always hide behind, I'm naked.
Anyone were to ever break through that wall, they'd find me...
Dead and curled up in a ball; cold and naked; bared for all to see....
That's just who I am.
Right now: turning the music up to ignore the screaming on the other side of my door.
Right now: trying not to wonder what's hitting the walls as they throw things around and try to kill each other.
At least it's not me...at the moment.
Right now: trying not to think about it.
Damn it.
At least I don't have to worry about being bored... Just killed.
Nevermind.
It's not important.
I'm sitting here with the blood running down my thighs, because nobody can see it that way.
I'm sitting here with the tears running down my cheeks, dripping onto my chest, onto my desk...
And nobody sees it.
I'm sitting here, not even trying to cheer myself up. It's not going to happen. And what if it does? I'll just find something else later on to break that.
So why even try?
Why try to find a mood that's so easily destroyed?
Why do I even hide it anymore?
Is it truly worth it? I mean, maybe I just care too much about others to drag them down with me...
I'll just sit here and drown in my blood and tears alone, thank you.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter anymore.
I've found what I'm looking for, lost what I'm looking for...
I look ahead and find myself still looking backwards.
You know why?
Because it's safer to live in memories.
It's safer to let that darkness take you.
It's safer, because you KNOW what to expect. Living through memories is like rereading a book. You aren't saddened, surprised, hurt, taken advantage of...you already know what's going to happen. Just maybe this time, when you read it, you're in a different state of mind, so you take the meaning differently.
Anyway...I have what I want. I just don't know what to do with it.
I'm scared. I'm hurting. I'm...lost.
I'm kind of naked. Except for that wall that I always hide behind, I'm naked.
Anyone were to ever break through that wall, they'd find me...
Dead and curled up in a ball; cold and naked; bared for all to see....
That's just who I am.
Right now: turning the music up to ignore the screaming on the other side of my door.
Right now: trying not to wonder what's hitting the walls as they throw things around and try to kill each other.
At least it's not me...at the moment.
Right now: trying not to think about it.
Damn it.
At least I don't have to worry about being bored... Just killed.