Wingless Wee Folk
Buckle up, kids. I've got a long one for ya.
I found myself sitting in the exact same seat in the exact same emergency room comforting the exact same friend as I had last year. Ohhhhhh such time has passed. One of us has done the seemingly impossible and broke up with her first love for something bigger than herself or him. One of us has come to Christ, and is now considering corrective therapy to heal some old, festering wounds. One of us has simply gotten more honest and open and has become more beautiful because of it.
I'm not sure what I'VE accomplished since I last sat in that seat... I chopped off all my hair and wear glasses a lot more...
Jess [the same Jess as I've written about before... but from here on out we will call her Dorsey] laid her hand on her roommate, Malone, and giggled and said, "Hey-- when we come here next time for your next boyfriend, let's make sure we bring watercolors or something!"
It was the first attempt to lighten the mood that was actually inappropriate.
The last time the four of us occupied these ER seats, we were waiting to hear about the status of Malone's then-boyfriend, Nick, and his near-fatal asthma attack. This time, we were here waiting to hear the status on Malone's then-current-but-now-ex-boyfriend, Lee, and his near-fatal drug overdose.
Malone met Lee in South Carolina on a family vacation. They hit it off wicked fast and, basically, had a week together that would make any good Christian squirm. Lee's a big-time drug dealer in Virginia with a major anger problem.
Major. Anger. Problem.
Malone came back to Fort Collins all glowy-in-love for this boy, despite his drug addictions, his underhanded dealings, and his intimidating temper.
Several days later, she begins recieving drunken text messages from one of Lee's friends. They were harmless, but even so, the friend begged Malone not to tell Lee about the conversation saying that Lee would "mess him up good". Malone DID tell Lee, however. Lee didn't take it too well.
Lee put the kid in the hospital after beating him with a baseball bat. The kid can no longer walk.
One day, just before school started, Lee calls Malone, overdosed on heroin, threatening to kill himself. After talking him down, Malone finds out that Lee is going to jail for two years. He robbed a pawn shop in Virginia and sold the stolen good for heroin... and got caught. Two weeks from that phone call, he was supposed to report to jail.
One week from that phone call, Malone flies him to Fort Collins.
Lee claimed that the court date/jail sentence had been pushed back to January.
This was about seven weeks ago.
Dorsey was not happy. She was okay with Lee vacationing there to see Malone one last time before he was imprisoned... she was even okay with him staying a bit longer when his supposed court date got supposedly pushed back... but then he started doing drugs. Nothing too illegal yet, just the daily line of oxycotton and other ground up pain pills. All of which he had done, no shame, in front of Dorsey, Malone, and their other roommate Savannah. Lee never got a job, never paid rent, always claimed he was out of money, yet had AMPLE money to spend on an eighth of weed a day. A DAY.
Now, I'm no druggie. I avoid being around people who smoke pot or ANYTHING whenever possible. So I don't know much... but I do know this-- an "eighth" costs about $50.
We come to find out that Lee's getting all these various drugs from Nick, Malone's ex.
Things progressively get scarier. Dorsey had called me a handful of times weeping because her house was filled with sketchy people... Lee's friends. I'd come and get her every time, as my maternal tendencies towards her were kicked into high gear.
I brought her dinner at Work this past Saturday. She tells me that she came home last night and found that Savannah's boyfriend and Lee were locked into Malone's room and being really quiet. Lee emerged once to get baking soda and water. Dorsey, also no druggie, didn't know what that meant, but knew it HAD to do with drugs. Real drugs. The scary kind.
It turned out to be cocaine.
Dorsey had a fit. She threatened to move out and to call the cops and all sorts of horrible things. Malone took it seriously, and dumped Lee and kicked him out of their house.
Finally.
Lee stuck around one more day, with the intentions of getting a bus ticket to Virginia.
But instead, he overdosed on some sort of undisclosed pain medication. He took 25 pills, at LEAST, of whatever was in that unmarked bottle. Malone wasn't too worried, as she'd seen Nick overdose a few times, and figured it was going to be no big deal as long as Lee didn't get anymore in him and drank water and fell asleep. She put him on the living room couch and left to go find Savannah, who's boyfriend had also partaken in the pain pills, but only took 6. He HAD to know more about what they were and what to expect from Lee.
She came back to Lee having a seizure.
The ambulance was called, and Lee violently freaked out. It took six paramedics to fight him down long enough to strap his wrists to his ankles so that he was more manageable. Before that operation was decided upon, the paramedics had tried to put an IV in his arm. Lee fought so hard that it ripped open his arm.
Apparently there's blood everywhere.
At 6:30 last night, I got a phone call from Dorsey that I could just barely understand. She was absolutely wailing over the phone to me, and in the background I could hear Lee screaming at the top of his lungs and the paramedics shouting as they tried to subdue him and get him into the ambulance.
I'm not sure I've ever been that scared in my life.
I can't imagine what Dorsey must have been going through.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be in Malone's head right then.
Malone had a panic attack whilst riding in the ambulance with Lee.
Lee was strapped down in the emergency room, and didn't cease screaming for Malone and fighting off the constraints until midnight that night, when they transported him to a mental institution.
Steph and I got to the hospital around 9, after church. We brought with us candy and red bull and coloring books and crayons and that one tabloid that is so terrible that it's hilarious... (Wild monster crocodiles are terrorizing the land, a pub in Britain is selling real fairy wings as appetizers, illegally, of course, and Bat Boy has his own comic strip now...).
Malone, the strongest one of us all, was weeping and huddled up in her seat... the same seat we'd seen her in last year. Nick was there trying to comfort her, but with one evil look coming from both Steph's an my face, he made himself scarce. Nick had given Lee those pills on Saturday. Nick had a pretty damn good idea of what could potentially happen, knowing about Dorsey's blow up AND about Lee's drug problems and past overdosing.
Malone spilled the story to us, filled in the gaps between things we didn't already know, and it equaled a horrifying picture of what's to come.
Lee wanted for arrest... though he won't say why, we're 92% sure it's because he's supposed to be in jail NOW. He HAD to have lied to us about the imprisonment date being pushed back. That HAD to be why he fought going to the hospital so violently. His being at the hospital means that his records are going to be pulled up. The VA judicial system IS going to catch up with him... we think. [None of us are actually sure how this all works...].
Malone essentially turned him over to the police and a more serious jail sentence by getting him to the hospital. Not that she regrets that, but Lee is furious and blames EVERYTHING on her. Everything from his overdose to the fact that he's now in more serious trouble.
This kid once upon a time beat a kid into a wheelchair with a BASEBALL BAT for a simple text message conversation.
In less than 72 hours, he'll be released into the community of Fort Collins (assuming that he doesn't get sent to VA for jail beforehand). Where do YOU think he'll go? From what I hear, he's still screaming horror-movie style in a cell in an asylum and blaming Malone for all the wrongs in his life right now.
What happens when the 72 hour mark is up?
What guarantee do we have that Malone will get off easier than the wheelchair kid?
All four of us, Dorsey, Malone, Steph, and I are shocked and scared into silence. What the hell is going to happen to all of us? Malone especially, Dorsey secondly, and, (not that the focus should be, in any way, on Steph and I... but...) Lee knows where Steph and I live too....
The somber silence wears off as a friendly security gaurd comes and chats with us about the cafeteria in the main hospital about to open up, if we were hungry. We thank him with our teeth and fists clenched, not because we're upset with him, but that we're scared.
As soon as he leaves, the clenching begins to loosen, and in comes a sense of humor rarely experienced. A morbid sense of humor like I encountered when in a cadaver dissection. We start making horrible awful jokes about drug usage and baseball bats and asylums and all sorts of out-of-line things and laughing uproariously at it.
We left the hospital after a screaming, writhing Lee is put into a car which will take him to the asylum.
On the way out, Malone begins to cry again and says, just audibly, that she doesn't deserve friends like us, and that's she's sorry that she put any of us in danger.
My heart breaks.
But, looking back on it-- this is one of those moments that makes friendships endure. Not because we're all bonded by this horrible experience, which we are, but it's one of those things were you can't seem to go back to a lower plane of relationship afterwards. Some sort of odd covenant was unspokenly made between us four girls. We're gonna be there for each other for better or for worse from here on out because there is no other option for us.
In 40 years, we may be back in an ER-- God only knows what for, but I can vividly see us sitting near each other reading about wild oats beating trespassers with their stalks and laughing about it with a sense of humor that may only ever make sense to just us.
I can be okay with the idea that my friends are a reflection on myself. Bring it on.
I found myself sitting in the exact same seat in the exact same emergency room comforting the exact same friend as I had last year. Ohhhhhh such time has passed. One of us has done the seemingly impossible and broke up with her first love for something bigger than herself or him. One of us has come to Christ, and is now considering corrective therapy to heal some old, festering wounds. One of us has simply gotten more honest and open and has become more beautiful because of it.
I'm not sure what I'VE accomplished since I last sat in that seat... I chopped off all my hair and wear glasses a lot more...
Jess [the same Jess as I've written about before... but from here on out we will call her Dorsey] laid her hand on her roommate, Malone, and giggled and said, "Hey-- when we come here next time for your next boyfriend, let's make sure we bring watercolors or something!"
It was the first attempt to lighten the mood that was actually inappropriate.
The last time the four of us occupied these ER seats, we were waiting to hear about the status of Malone's then-boyfriend, Nick, and his near-fatal asthma attack. This time, we were here waiting to hear the status on Malone's then-current-but-now-ex-boyfriend, Lee, and his near-fatal drug overdose.
Malone met Lee in South Carolina on a family vacation. They hit it off wicked fast and, basically, had a week together that would make any good Christian squirm. Lee's a big-time drug dealer in Virginia with a major anger problem.
Major. Anger. Problem.
Malone came back to Fort Collins all glowy-in-love for this boy, despite his drug addictions, his underhanded dealings, and his intimidating temper.
Several days later, she begins recieving drunken text messages from one of Lee's friends. They were harmless, but even so, the friend begged Malone not to tell Lee about the conversation saying that Lee would "mess him up good". Malone DID tell Lee, however. Lee didn't take it too well.
Lee put the kid in the hospital after beating him with a baseball bat. The kid can no longer walk.
One day, just before school started, Lee calls Malone, overdosed on heroin, threatening to kill himself. After talking him down, Malone finds out that Lee is going to jail for two years. He robbed a pawn shop in Virginia and sold the stolen good for heroin... and got caught. Two weeks from that phone call, he was supposed to report to jail.
One week from that phone call, Malone flies him to Fort Collins.
Lee claimed that the court date/jail sentence had been pushed back to January.
This was about seven weeks ago.
Dorsey was not happy. She was okay with Lee vacationing there to see Malone one last time before he was imprisoned... she was even okay with him staying a bit longer when his supposed court date got supposedly pushed back... but then he started doing drugs. Nothing too illegal yet, just the daily line of oxycotton and other ground up pain pills. All of which he had done, no shame, in front of Dorsey, Malone, and their other roommate Savannah. Lee never got a job, never paid rent, always claimed he was out of money, yet had AMPLE money to spend on an eighth of weed a day. A DAY.
Now, I'm no druggie. I avoid being around people who smoke pot or ANYTHING whenever possible. So I don't know much... but I do know this-- an "eighth" costs about $50.
We come to find out that Lee's getting all these various drugs from Nick, Malone's ex.
Things progressively get scarier. Dorsey had called me a handful of times weeping because her house was filled with sketchy people... Lee's friends. I'd come and get her every time, as my maternal tendencies towards her were kicked into high gear.
I brought her dinner at Work this past Saturday. She tells me that she came home last night and found that Savannah's boyfriend and Lee were locked into Malone's room and being really quiet. Lee emerged once to get baking soda and water. Dorsey, also no druggie, didn't know what that meant, but knew it HAD to do with drugs. Real drugs. The scary kind.
It turned out to be cocaine.
Dorsey had a fit. She threatened to move out and to call the cops and all sorts of horrible things. Malone took it seriously, and dumped Lee and kicked him out of their house.
Finally.
Lee stuck around one more day, with the intentions of getting a bus ticket to Virginia.
But instead, he overdosed on some sort of undisclosed pain medication. He took 25 pills, at LEAST, of whatever was in that unmarked bottle. Malone wasn't too worried, as she'd seen Nick overdose a few times, and figured it was going to be no big deal as long as Lee didn't get anymore in him and drank water and fell asleep. She put him on the living room couch and left to go find Savannah, who's boyfriend had also partaken in the pain pills, but only took 6. He HAD to know more about what they were and what to expect from Lee.
She came back to Lee having a seizure.
The ambulance was called, and Lee violently freaked out. It took six paramedics to fight him down long enough to strap his wrists to his ankles so that he was more manageable. Before that operation was decided upon, the paramedics had tried to put an IV in his arm. Lee fought so hard that it ripped open his arm.
Apparently there's blood everywhere.
At 6:30 last night, I got a phone call from Dorsey that I could just barely understand. She was absolutely wailing over the phone to me, and in the background I could hear Lee screaming at the top of his lungs and the paramedics shouting as they tried to subdue him and get him into the ambulance.
I'm not sure I've ever been that scared in my life.
I can't imagine what Dorsey must have been going through.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be in Malone's head right then.
Malone had a panic attack whilst riding in the ambulance with Lee.
Lee was strapped down in the emergency room, and didn't cease screaming for Malone and fighting off the constraints until midnight that night, when they transported him to a mental institution.
Steph and I got to the hospital around 9, after church. We brought with us candy and red bull and coloring books and crayons and that one tabloid that is so terrible that it's hilarious... (Wild monster crocodiles are terrorizing the land, a pub in Britain is selling real fairy wings as appetizers, illegally, of course, and Bat Boy has his own comic strip now...).
Malone, the strongest one of us all, was weeping and huddled up in her seat... the same seat we'd seen her in last year. Nick was there trying to comfort her, but with one evil look coming from both Steph's an my face, he made himself scarce. Nick had given Lee those pills on Saturday. Nick had a pretty damn good idea of what could potentially happen, knowing about Dorsey's blow up AND about Lee's drug problems and past overdosing.
Malone spilled the story to us, filled in the gaps between things we didn't already know, and it equaled a horrifying picture of what's to come.
Lee wanted for arrest... though he won't say why, we're 92% sure it's because he's supposed to be in jail NOW. He HAD to have lied to us about the imprisonment date being pushed back. That HAD to be why he fought going to the hospital so violently. His being at the hospital means that his records are going to be pulled up. The VA judicial system IS going to catch up with him... we think. [None of us are actually sure how this all works...].
Malone essentially turned him over to the police and a more serious jail sentence by getting him to the hospital. Not that she regrets that, but Lee is furious and blames EVERYTHING on her. Everything from his overdose to the fact that he's now in more serious trouble.
This kid once upon a time beat a kid into a wheelchair with a BASEBALL BAT for a simple text message conversation.
In less than 72 hours, he'll be released into the community of Fort Collins (assuming that he doesn't get sent to VA for jail beforehand). Where do YOU think he'll go? From what I hear, he's still screaming horror-movie style in a cell in an asylum and blaming Malone for all the wrongs in his life right now.
What happens when the 72 hour mark is up?
What guarantee do we have that Malone will get off easier than the wheelchair kid?
All four of us, Dorsey, Malone, Steph, and I are shocked and scared into silence. What the hell is going to happen to all of us? Malone especially, Dorsey secondly, and, (not that the focus should be, in any way, on Steph and I... but...) Lee knows where Steph and I live too....
The somber silence wears off as a friendly security gaurd comes and chats with us about the cafeteria in the main hospital about to open up, if we were hungry. We thank him with our teeth and fists clenched, not because we're upset with him, but that we're scared.
As soon as he leaves, the clenching begins to loosen, and in comes a sense of humor rarely experienced. A morbid sense of humor like I encountered when in a cadaver dissection. We start making horrible awful jokes about drug usage and baseball bats and asylums and all sorts of out-of-line things and laughing uproariously at it.
We left the hospital after a screaming, writhing Lee is put into a car which will take him to the asylum.
On the way out, Malone begins to cry again and says, just audibly, that she doesn't deserve friends like us, and that's she's sorry that she put any of us in danger.
My heart breaks.
But, looking back on it-- this is one of those moments that makes friendships endure. Not because we're all bonded by this horrible experience, which we are, but it's one of those things were you can't seem to go back to a lower plane of relationship afterwards. Some sort of odd covenant was unspokenly made between us four girls. We're gonna be there for each other for better or for worse from here on out because there is no other option for us.
In 40 years, we may be back in an ER-- God only knows what for, but I can vividly see us sitting near each other reading about wild oats beating trespassers with their stalks and laughing about it with a sense of humor that may only ever make sense to just us.
I can be okay with the idea that my friends are a reflection on myself. Bring it on.