Holy shit its freak out time
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING GOING TO EUROPE?
I cant leave Adam for over 5 weeks. At the moment I struggle with 5 hours. And its not that we're codependent - oh well fuck, maybe it is, but Im happy that way. I love him. And he loves me. And we have so much fun together. I need him to keep me sane.
Why the fuck am I leaving the beautiful beautiful Australian summer - filled with sun and the beach, and warm nights, and FRIENDS and NO UNI - to go where I barely know anyone, its freezing cold, I have no money and no support?
WHY THE FUCK cant I make myself study at the moment? I have done no work in 9 weeks. Exams are in 4. And I waste day after day on stuff that is NOT STUDY. I hot glue gun, I sew, i draw, I develop badly times obsessions... What the fuck am I doing with my life?
I have two more years of uni left after this. Two itsy bitsy (hugely enormous) years after having knocked over four - and then I (WE) can go to the next level. I can have real money, travel, do the marriage thing. Live in another country.... But it ISNT yet.
I know I'll be over this by tomorrow (Hell, I'll probably get over it in the next 10 minutes) I just wish i had a bit of control over my motivation (or lack thereof) right now... Fuck.
I cant leave Adam for over 5 weeks. At the moment I struggle with 5 hours. And its not that we're codependent - oh well fuck, maybe it is, but Im happy that way. I love him. And he loves me. And we have so much fun together. I need him to keep me sane.
Why the fuck am I leaving the beautiful beautiful Australian summer - filled with sun and the beach, and warm nights, and FRIENDS and NO UNI - to go where I barely know anyone, its freezing cold, I have no money and no support?
WHY THE FUCK cant I make myself study at the moment? I have done no work in 9 weeks. Exams are in 4. And I waste day after day on stuff that is NOT STUDY. I hot glue gun, I sew, i draw, I develop badly times obsessions... What the fuck am I doing with my life?
I have two more years of uni left after this. Two itsy bitsy (hugely enormous) years after having knocked over four - and then I (WE) can go to the next level. I can have real money, travel, do the marriage thing. Live in another country.... But it ISNT yet.
I know I'll be over this by tomorrow (Hell, I'll probably get over it in the next 10 minutes) I just wish i had a bit of control over my motivation (or lack thereof) right now... Fuck.