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May 11, 2005 14:54

What was the most difficult decision you've ever had to make?

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whittles May 11 2005, 22:58:33 UTC
I'd say leaving hunter college and breaking up with Justin rank up there as the hardest two.

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tiny_chicken May 19 2005, 15:42:16 UTC
...Hunter College?

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whittles May 19 2005, 16:21:20 UTC
Yeah, after high school I went to hunter for a semester and a half. about half way through the second semester I found myself taking nothing but classes that I was really excited about and yet not being able to get out of bed. Right before I left for spring break I had a big panic attack/small breakdown.

I spent the next week of my vacation contemplating it and by the end I decided to leave hunter. I was clearly not mentally healthy and I didn't understand why or where it was coming from. I was wasting my time and my money when I could be getting so much more out of school being present.

My mother did not take to the idea at first and tried to talk me out of it, but I stuck to my guns. I haven't a clue where I'd be now as my life took a different path from then on, but I'm pretty happy with it thus far.

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tiny_chicken May 20 2005, 14:09:53 UTC
I found myself taking nothing but classes that I was really excited about and yet not being able to get out of bed.

The incongruency of the two parts of that are so unlike any Whitney I know... it's difficult to imagine what could have caused that, except maybe something inside you knew it wasn't what was best for you. I'm glad you were able to make such a difficult decision and stick to your guns about it -- further tribute to your incredible strength. I hope you're proud of your decision because from what I read here, you ought to be.

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whittles May 21 2005, 17:45:33 UTC
thank you for that. I put a lot of energy into not feeling shameful about my decision and I think in the end I only partly succeeded. It goes against what I was raised to do sooo much and what society expects of me.
Over the years I've come to terms more and more, but more so I just don't think about it. I do know that I'm happy to be where I am and I wouldn't be here if i hadn't done that.

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tiny_chicken May 23 2005, 14:46:42 UTC
It goes against what I was raised to do sooo much and what society expects of me.

I think decisions forcing us to do either/both of these are among the most difficult we can make. I'm glad you're coming to terms with all of this stuff, and I'm glad you know you made the right decision...

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tiny_chicken May 19 2005, 15:43:13 UTC
Also, it strikes me that asking people to explain their difficult decisions in a public forum is a little thoughtless, so feel free to disregard that inquiry or address it in another forum!

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