Recovery
Just thought I'd let people know that I'm okay again, at least sort of. I have moved beyond the "constantly breaking down crying phase", which I guess is a good thing, even though it has really only been replaced by utter emptiness and insecurity. I think which ever the part in my body is that registers emotions - it has just gone on overload. I don't feel hate for him, or love for that matter, there's just nothing - he feels like a complete stranger to me. We have talked yesterday and I have finally talked with Mishelle, which is something I should have done a very long time ago.
Have also set down some ground rules for what I expect to happen when/if we do get back together, though at the moment I am not at all sure that is what I really want. I think I will have to decide upon that over the course of the next weeks. I will see him again on Thursday, as we shall be meeting for food and will be rather intrigued as to what my reaction will be. I pretty much expect anything from wanting to beg him to come streight back home with me to wanting to kill him. Personally I sort of hope it will be somewhere in the middle.
Today people will take me to the park and teach me how to use poi, am expecting to hit myself in the head repetetively and come home with lots of bruises. It shall be a disctraction though, so life will be good. Might go to see George on Friday or possibly finally have a go at catching up with work, or may be both
Have also set down some ground rules for what I expect to happen when/if we do get back together, though at the moment I am not at all sure that is what I really want. I think I will have to decide upon that over the course of the next weeks. I will see him again on Thursday, as we shall be meeting for food and will be rather intrigued as to what my reaction will be. I pretty much expect anything from wanting to beg him to come streight back home with me to wanting to kill him. Personally I sort of hope it will be somewhere in the middle.
Today people will take me to the park and teach me how to use poi, am expecting to hit myself in the head repetetively and come home with lots of bruises. It shall be a disctraction though, so life will be good. Might go to see George on Friday or possibly finally have a go at catching up with work, or may be both