Abandonment
I now understand how a mother can walk out on her children. I used to be stunned when I heard about such an event but I now understand.
Let me preface all of this with I would NEVER walk out on Caitlin. I love her fiercely and would seek help if I ever felt that I was close to fleeing. That being said...
The lack of sleep, the hysterical crying, the vomiting, the diapers, the worries about things beyond your control, the tedium, the money, an oblivious spouse and on and on and on and on and on...
It can be brain numbing and body draining. It can take away the person you used to be.
The good far outweighs the bad. However, weeks like this can make that hard to realize.
I'm rambling. I'm tired. I have to leave at 7am (with Caitlin) to go meet with some people I am subcontracting with.
She is asleep for now. Guess I better try to get a few hours before her next feeding.
Let me preface all of this with I would NEVER walk out on Caitlin. I love her fiercely and would seek help if I ever felt that I was close to fleeing. That being said...
The lack of sleep, the hysterical crying, the vomiting, the diapers, the worries about things beyond your control, the tedium, the money, an oblivious spouse and on and on and on and on and on...
It can be brain numbing and body draining. It can take away the person you used to be.
The good far outweighs the bad. However, weeks like this can make that hard to realize.
I'm rambling. I'm tired. I have to leave at 7am (with Caitlin) to go meet with some people I am subcontracting with.
She is asleep for now. Guess I better try to get a few hours before her next feeding.