some days i'm just on a posting roll
series of poems under the cuts. most of them short. ignore at will.
8/25/07 1:40ish walking home
"what do you write
when it's 3 in the morning
and you're lonely?"
that i'm happy 2 a.m. is gone
written on orange paper with an orange pen
why does talking about you leave me so cold
when just moments ago i was calm
i was bold
written just before the office move
You should discover
the acoustics of a place
before you start telling secrets
to its walls
12/22/07 11:30ish pm going home after the movie while the family prepares for Uncle's funeral
nothing's going right in here when I'm alone
something's missing and I'm not sure it's not me
or perhaps there's too much of me
perhaps there's always too much of me
ugly & self-centered
always there but hiding when there are others
and then
I suppose
I perform
and what have I done to deserve to be content?
blown off responsibility
casually broken promises
given mere face-time to faith and supposed it to be true devotion
thought of myself alone
myself my highest goal
myself my only reason
wanting to be catered to and remembered and considered first
angry and upset when I've had to fight to remind
what kind of example have I been?
paying lip service to niceness and believe my own game
thinking I'm better
better than me
better than thou
even to the smallest degree
what do I know?
I know nothing
I have no wisdom
I have no knowledge
and thinking I have done enough to have attained ether
and wondering why I fail myself so completely
I tell myself there must be a way to give myself over to You completely
yet refuse to study You
to follow in the things You have laid out for me
i have been spoiled and selfish
yet You bring me low with a gentle hand
working on my peace and contentment
so that i cannot be peaceably still and must fill my time with things
when the only thing i need is You
8/25/07 1:40ish walking home
"what do you write
when it's 3 in the morning
and you're lonely?"
that i'm happy 2 a.m. is gone
written on orange paper with an orange pen
why does talking about you leave me so cold
when just moments ago i was calm
i was bold
written just before the office move
You should discover
the acoustics of a place
before you start telling secrets
to its walls
12/22/07 11:30ish pm going home after the movie while the family prepares for Uncle's funeral
nothing's going right in here when I'm alone
something's missing and I'm not sure it's not me
or perhaps there's too much of me
perhaps there's always too much of me
ugly & self-centered
always there but hiding when there are others
and then
I suppose
I perform
and what have I done to deserve to be content?
blown off responsibility
casually broken promises
given mere face-time to faith and supposed it to be true devotion
thought of myself alone
myself my highest goal
myself my only reason
wanting to be catered to and remembered and considered first
angry and upset when I've had to fight to remind
what kind of example have I been?
paying lip service to niceness and believe my own game
thinking I'm better
better than me
better than thou
even to the smallest degree
what do I know?
I know nothing
I have no wisdom
I have no knowledge
and thinking I have done enough to have attained ether
and wondering why I fail myself so completely
I tell myself there must be a way to give myself over to You completely
yet refuse to study You
to follow in the things You have laid out for me
i have been spoiled and selfish
yet You bring me low with a gentle hand
working on my peace and contentment
so that i cannot be peaceably still and must fill my time with things
when the only thing i need is You