*the bad is outweighing the good*
ok so i love my job
helping kiddos with special needs form meaningful human relationships and develop emotionally through play is the most rewarding thing i could think of doing right now. it has proven to be so fun and even therapeutic for myself at times. i can incorporate drama, music, art, and dance if i wanted so each session in a way is an opportunity for my own expression. even though they occasionally bite me or wipe used snotty tissues on my face or bop me on the head i love them to death.
there are, however, high demands. it is demanding emotionally, physically, and time-wise. also, there are so many situations where i am just at a loss about the correct thing to do. i feel so useless sometimes. i wish i could choose my clients. i have two clients that i dread seeing because i am constantly unsure as to what i should do. even when i ask for advice, the advice i am given seems so unrealistic and overly optimistic. and the parents make it difficult sometimes too. they expect me to have all the answers and be perfect at what i do, which is understandable, but puts me in an awkward position where i feel like i can't help but fail.
i guess i just hate feeling incompetent and having other people think i don't know what i am doing.
its been hard for me to "leave work at work" with this job because it really requires a lot of brain storming about the next session. sometimes i think i should quit even. but i think that would look really bad on my part to future jobs. but then i think that life is too short to have to stress out so much. but then i think, well, its all in ones frame of mind.
helping kiddos with special needs form meaningful human relationships and develop emotionally through play is the most rewarding thing i could think of doing right now. it has proven to be so fun and even therapeutic for myself at times. i can incorporate drama, music, art, and dance if i wanted so each session in a way is an opportunity for my own expression. even though they occasionally bite me or wipe used snotty tissues on my face or bop me on the head i love them to death.
there are, however, high demands. it is demanding emotionally, physically, and time-wise. also, there are so many situations where i am just at a loss about the correct thing to do. i feel so useless sometimes. i wish i could choose my clients. i have two clients that i dread seeing because i am constantly unsure as to what i should do. even when i ask for advice, the advice i am given seems so unrealistic and overly optimistic. and the parents make it difficult sometimes too. they expect me to have all the answers and be perfect at what i do, which is understandable, but puts me in an awkward position where i feel like i can't help but fail.
i guess i just hate feeling incompetent and having other people think i don't know what i am doing.
its been hard for me to "leave work at work" with this job because it really requires a lot of brain storming about the next session. sometimes i think i should quit even. but i think that would look really bad on my part to future jobs. but then i think that life is too short to have to stress out so much. but then i think, well, its all in ones frame of mind.