Happy New Year!
Hi everyone! Do you even remember me? I used to be a fairly regular LJ-er a few years ago. Then, I took a little break and realized why you should never do that. A little break inevitably turns into a long break. Sure, I popped in every once and a while to post, but I never got back into the habit of posting every day or even every other day or every week...you get the point.
However, now that it's a start of a new year (Yay for 2012!), I'm making a solid effort to re-join LJ in a real way. I have a lot of happy memories of this community and I want to be part of it again.
I'm feeling really positive about 2012. For once, I'm not beginning the year with anxious thoughts about everything I need to change about myself or my life. I mean, I have goals, of course. But, this time I feel like I'm actually ready to reach them.
I've always had a strange fear of success. I think I was always worried about what would happen when I actually did get what I wanted. Or, I was so afraid that I wouldn't get it that I wouldn't even try. It's very hard to succeed when you're second-guessing yourself the whole time.
And, I've always been my own worst enemy. My voice was the voice inside my head telling me that I would never be good enough and that I didn't really deserve the good things that I wanted for myself. I would stack up my successes against other people's and if I didn't measure up, I would just give up. It makes me so sad to think of how mean I was to myself for as long as it's been.
The good news is for the first time in a long time, I can say that I genuinely like myself. I'm older and somewhat wiser. I understand a little more about life now and realize that happiness isn't a secret. It's not something that's granted to some people and not to others. It begins inside. I am the master of my own destiny. I decide if I'm going to let myself be happy or not. It's a pretty powerful thing when you think about it.
And, because of that realization, I think I'm finally ready to let myself have everything that I've wanted. I think I can actually handle it now and appreciate it.
It may not all happen this year and some things may not happen at all. But, I know now that Anne Shirley in "Anne of Green Gables" was right. "It's not what the world holds for you. It's what you bring to it."
Happy New Year, everyone! I hope we all bring wonderful things to the world this year!
However, now that it's a start of a new year (Yay for 2012!), I'm making a solid effort to re-join LJ in a real way. I have a lot of happy memories of this community and I want to be part of it again.
I'm feeling really positive about 2012. For once, I'm not beginning the year with anxious thoughts about everything I need to change about myself or my life. I mean, I have goals, of course. But, this time I feel like I'm actually ready to reach them.
I've always had a strange fear of success. I think I was always worried about what would happen when I actually did get what I wanted. Or, I was so afraid that I wouldn't get it that I wouldn't even try. It's very hard to succeed when you're second-guessing yourself the whole time.
And, I've always been my own worst enemy. My voice was the voice inside my head telling me that I would never be good enough and that I didn't really deserve the good things that I wanted for myself. I would stack up my successes against other people's and if I didn't measure up, I would just give up. It makes me so sad to think of how mean I was to myself for as long as it's been.
The good news is for the first time in a long time, I can say that I genuinely like myself. I'm older and somewhat wiser. I understand a little more about life now and realize that happiness isn't a secret. It's not something that's granted to some people and not to others. It begins inside. I am the master of my own destiny. I decide if I'm going to let myself be happy or not. It's a pretty powerful thing when you think about it.
And, because of that realization, I think I'm finally ready to let myself have everything that I've wanted. I think I can actually handle it now and appreciate it.
It may not all happen this year and some things may not happen at all. But, I know now that Anne Shirley in "Anne of Green Gables" was right. "It's not what the world holds for you. It's what you bring to it."
Happy New Year, everyone! I hope we all bring wonderful things to the world this year!