My Vivid Colors
March 3, 2012 marks an important day in my life - for that was the day I have graduated from fandom.
Not a lot of people would understand my love for this band. It doesn’t really matter though if they do or not. At the end of the day what is important is I am happy and this rocked my boat. Upon writing that, this article doesn’t aim for anyone to have understand me but this article is a pure expression of my appreciation for l’arc~en~ciel.
This is the story of my rainbow across the sky told.
My red fear:
I am so afraid of flying, more so - of travelling alone. I super dread that. In order for me to see them back in 2008, I have to brave that. There was no other choice if I wanted to see them perform right before my very eyes.
I have mustered all the courage I had in me and come May that year, I found myself travelling from Manila to Clark to Macau to Hong Kong to AsiaWorld back to Macau to Clark to Manila. They made me travel alone and fly and ride a ferry across and back. Who would have thought I was brave enough to do that? When the rest of the world even thought that I can’t even be alone for a second or to even sleep with the lights turned off. That was the time I told myself, I think i have had matured a little. And just when i thought i woul just do that once… I was so wrong! I just did it again. And this time: backpacking style! They turned my red fear to red courage and now I am wearing the red Bravery badge!
My Orange friends:
I am a self-proclaimed introvert and anti-social. I don’t like making friends an I stick with the people that I an do used to. There’s nothing much that changed about that, however, they brought me new friends. I never really imagined having a lot of friends!
So, I started knowing people whether they were directly or indirectly appreciating the band. I met LPFC and her sister org, Juujiro. I met people who are like me, great fans. Through them, I got to know some indie bands and some friends of them there. Here, I have experienced creating events, attending events and manning events. How cool can that be!
Through one of the members (who is now a good friend of mine), I learned that I can have a Hyde doll to keep. That led me to knowing another group called ManikaManila and her sister org Manikako. I was given a chance to interact with some of the most awesome doll owners in the country and outside.
The president of the group was very active at that time so, that gave us a chance to be part of the biggest toy convention in Asia. For 4 consecutive years now, I have been part of toy con and I would still love to be a part of it.
In search for all things l’arc~en~curl it led me to 3 great sites that I won’t forget. First was Tokyo-Nights. I found a lot of awesome people here who did not only share their love laruku but shared their love for Japanese music. It opened my world to other great artists like Tokyo Jihen. Second was Dive to Blue Forum. I Found here the most generous fans ever. Here, no fan was greater than the other, everyone’s at the same level. Third was CyWorld. In search of doll in mind groups for my Hyde doll, I found this site. Here I met the coolest people on the planet. We can about anything under the sun and they didn’t really cared whoever you are, the most important rule is to respect other members.
I also made friends at the concert grounds. They were the nicest fans, they weren’t snobbish and just like me - they’d brave any place to see l’arc~en~ciel.
They were a great conversation topic. And I’d talk about them every time. I think they were thefirst topic I had with my boyfriend!
Orange friends were coming closer with every note I sang with l’arc~en~ciel.
My Yellow tongue:
I had been learning the Japanese language but i guess it never really peaked up until the time I saw them in concert. I litterally had started memorizing their songs, understanding the lyrics and imaginging what it meant. This made me fall in love more with their culture and language and Hyde and l’arc~en~ciel.
Then, I realized how sentimental Japanese could be - using wasurenai than oboete. They use don’t forget more than remember. I just thought that don’t forget is more like begging than asking.
I found hyde’s poetry really moving. I found tetsuya’s words were more of awakening. Yukihiro was the real rocker if the group as he writes similar to other rockers I have known. Ken’s words were just simply romantic.
More than that, I found myself singing to words foreign to my brown tongue - it turned yellow as Honey as I sang to their every words. Thus, a yellow tongue.
The Green dream:
No, they didn’t turn me into a perv but they did turn me into loving money! In order to buy stuff I have to earn more. Because of that, I have tried selling online and doin part-time jobs!
The road to fandom is not that easy! I have wanted to travel with them and the dram to go to Japan and see them person in their home court. I worked hard. Together with that, I dreamt of fame. I wanted to become something more than I am so, meeting them is easier. In saying so, I became more competitive than ever.
For a moment, I lived for them. My big dreams in green!
Blue hopes:
Being a fan can be dissappounting at times. Some times you can’t help but think they care less about you. every fan like me, has dreams of being noticed so I did a lot. It was extreme to the point that I have a specially made doll in the likeness of Hyde. Though, the love for the doll became different font my love of their real person.
At times, you see, you become embittered by the thought of other fans get noticed but not you. So lucky, right? I’m concerts they get to have other things like catching tetsuya’s banana or hyde’s pick. It can be very frustrating.
Last saturday, I did not have any of those feelings. My blue dissappoiments and hopes were just simple blown away by their soulful and energetic perfomance. I closed my eyes and felt that they were playing only for me.
I was feeling fine for my blue hopes turned into a hot blue flame of appreciation.
Indigo music:
They play different genre and they collaborate with different artists. They made me appreciate more than just one face of music.
They maybe a rock band but they can sure play music that can make you dance. They had an alter ego P’unk~en~ciel. It only goes to show that afterall they are humans.
I chase them and they chase their dreams. They fulfill my indigo music.
Violet passion:
They can always make me feel young. Last Saturday I was 20 and they were forever young. In the last 4 years, I have grown and so they did. Under the makeup, lines were showing but I still wish they wouldn’t stop playing their music.
I share their passion. Yukihiro made my heart beat with the beating of his drum. I felt him making the rhythm, my blood rushed. Ken, as always, reached musical orgasm. I felt him with every strum and pluck of the strings on his guitar. Tetsuya gave a tingle to my spine with every bass note he plays. Sending me into a trance of under tones. Hyde, made me sing a language foreign to me that doesn’t need translation. Their violet passion sings the the song to me in langauge I know - love.
I stepped in to fascination - kiss!
My pot of gold:
Whatelse would I want as a fan? I have went to extremes and saw them twice perform. I invested in an extensive collection of their CDs and memorabilias. Because of Hyde doll I have been featured on tv and was called and tagged as a die-hard Japanese rock band fan. Whatelse is there? : the chance to have met them in person not the media famous way. My pot of gold would be that one afternoon in a cafe drinking coffee with them and talking about music, dreams, love and life.
Last saturday, I graduated from fandom. Standing there from a far, God have whispered to me that i have had my pot of gold. L’arc~en~ciel and I had met 2x in the same place and time. More so, I carry them with me in my iPod. I meet them everyday through my CDs. I converse with them through songs and interact throguh the numerous times I have to repeat thei past concerts. I have met them.
In times I feel sad, they console me and when I am happy they sing for me. I have found a greater appreciation for them.
What good is this article if it will Not reach them? I don’t know. Maybe one day some of their staff or even their kids would stumble upon this and would know that they madey heart draw a dream.
I have graduated from fandom. But it won’t stop me from singing their songs. Last Saturday, I was there for music and friendship and dreaming. I was there for their ideals and how they looked at the world. I was there for good times and sharing one passion with them.
I was there for the dream that our hearts have drawn.
Azayaka no niji, my vivid raibow, le l’arc~en~ciel : and aking matingkad na bahag- hari was shining more than ever!
Thank you for the wonderful show Ken, Hyde, tetsuya and yukihiro. Please enjoy the rest of the world tour, you so deserve this fame and respect you have earned.
You have come a long way and everything us for today!