(no subject)
i was sitting here, cross-legged on my bed eating chinese food and reflecting and i got the sudden urge to "blog." i re-read the past few months of this thing and it made me feel... sad. all i do is whine about life and how it's been so sour to me. it hasn't been easy, but God's been good to me.
i've been so frustrated because the past year has been a whirlwind and i've had the most terrible case of writer's block and no passion to write in here about anything real. but this will change.
it's been two days since i've talked to paul. i miss him when we aren't in contact. he always knows what to say to keep me smiling. it seems like he's the only true source of love that i know right now.
i've stopped drinking as much as i have been.
actually, i drink about as much as i always have, but with tact and poise. i can now associate the alchohol with fun times going out with friends and laughter rather than drunken nights alone in my room or the bath tub making myself bleed.
it's nice.
very nice.
guys, i'm really not the annoying sad girl you've been reading. there is LIFE in me and i wish you could see that. i love you :)
i've been so frustrated because the past year has been a whirlwind and i've had the most terrible case of writer's block and no passion to write in here about anything real. but this will change.
it's been two days since i've talked to paul. i miss him when we aren't in contact. he always knows what to say to keep me smiling. it seems like he's the only true source of love that i know right now.
i've stopped drinking as much as i have been.
actually, i drink about as much as i always have, but with tact and poise. i can now associate the alchohol with fun times going out with friends and laughter rather than drunken nights alone in my room or the bath tub making myself bleed.
it's nice.
very nice.
guys, i'm really not the annoying sad girl you've been reading. there is LIFE in me and i wish you could see that. i love you :)