People! I need suggestions. Edit please.
I'm not done yet, but you guys can check it anyways.
~Starting~
Immigration Lessons
My brother and I have been told ever since we were young enough to understand, that life was hard everywhere. We were a poor farmer’s family, which was not anomalous from the society around us. But Papa taught us to always work hard to earn rewards, instead of giving up when we meet setbacks. So, we have and will always be that way. Nearly all day everyday, Mama and Papa work hard to sell our fruits that we produce on the farm at the open market place, an area with many people like us selling food about a thirty minute walk from here. Meanwhile, my little brother Ben, who is thirteen years old, goes to middle school. I am at a high school nearby, so I usually pick him up at the end of the day. When we get home after the fifteen-minute walk, we start on our homework. Next, we practice piano. By then, Mama and Papa usually are back home. We eat dinner and I help Ben with his English homework.
This year is my last year in high school. Papa is thinking about sending me to America to get a good college education and achieve a well paying job. Last night, he announced it to the whole family. Mama said irritably, “Sophie can’t go! We need her here!”
Papa replied serenely, “We don’t need her for anything. She can go.”
“But…but…” Mama stammered. “But she probably would lose our Taiwanese culture if she moves to America! Besides, we don’t have the money. And she’s so young! She would be afraid.”
“I am afraid to go to a foreign country, but I’m willing to try,” I said, confirming Mama’s prediction.
“See? That’s my Sophie I know,” Papa said. “Anyways, I will have her go to America no matter what. Education is the most important.”
Mama pondered over this for a while. Finally, she said, “You are right. Education should come first.” She heaved a sigh and continued, “Once in a while, I do wish I could read.”
After a weeklong wait, Papa came home with exuberant news. He announced it at dinnertime. He had earned enough money to send me to America. He would send me to the airport personally and watch me board the plane on July 25, which was a month away. He assured me that the time I would be spending on the plane would probably be the easiest part. “When you get off,” he said, “Uncle Victor will be waiting for you outside. I have sent him a picture of you, so he will recognize you when get off the plane.”
“Alright,” I replied. I barely knew about my Uncle Victor, but I have heard of him in family conversations.
That night and many nights afterwards, I thought of my trip, an adventure, the first one away from my family and childhood life. I would imagine what America looked like and how I would feel to be there. I also reflected on the thought of the strange faces I would see and the loneliness I would have to endure over the duration of the airplane trip. I also thought about the items I would be bringing on the trip. As the day of my departure neared, I frantically began packing my luggage, only to find that there were many items I needed and didn’t need. This led to a quandary that would often make me very annoyed and abandon my luggage, feeling frustrated and hopeless. One day, Mama sat next to me while I started packing again. She observed how I grew frustrated after a while. She calmly stated after a while, “Sophie, darling, why don’t you think and write down a list of required items? For example, your clothing, blankets, towels, and soap.”
“What a great idea! Now why didn’t I think of that before?”
Mama smiled as I dashed off to find a paper and pen. I quickly listed the basic items I had at the top of my head at that moment. Then, I ran off to fetch the items, stacked them next to my luggage, and check them off my list. Soon, I had a nice pile of paraphernalia that I would be bringing. The pile stopped growing a few days later. Instead, it shrunk in size as Mama gave me tips on what I probably could buy there and not bring.
Today was July 25, 1968. I was ecstatic as a rushed back and forth through the house, picking up items at the last minute. Papa finally calmed me down and I hugged and kissed Mama and Ben farewell. Papa drove me to the airport and we found the airplane I was riding. Before I stepped up onto the plane, I hugged and kissed Papa. I wished him a good harvest in the years to come. With a last wave, I walked up into the plane.
~End~
Good? Bad?
~Starting~
Immigration Lessons
My brother and I have been told ever since we were young enough to understand, that life was hard everywhere. We were a poor farmer’s family, which was not anomalous from the society around us. But Papa taught us to always work hard to earn rewards, instead of giving up when we meet setbacks. So, we have and will always be that way. Nearly all day everyday, Mama and Papa work hard to sell our fruits that we produce on the farm at the open market place, an area with many people like us selling food about a thirty minute walk from here. Meanwhile, my little brother Ben, who is thirteen years old, goes to middle school. I am at a high school nearby, so I usually pick him up at the end of the day. When we get home after the fifteen-minute walk, we start on our homework. Next, we practice piano. By then, Mama and Papa usually are back home. We eat dinner and I help Ben with his English homework.
This year is my last year in high school. Papa is thinking about sending me to America to get a good college education and achieve a well paying job. Last night, he announced it to the whole family. Mama said irritably, “Sophie can’t go! We need her here!”
Papa replied serenely, “We don’t need her for anything. She can go.”
“But…but…” Mama stammered. “But she probably would lose our Taiwanese culture if she moves to America! Besides, we don’t have the money. And she’s so young! She would be afraid.”
“I am afraid to go to a foreign country, but I’m willing to try,” I said, confirming Mama’s prediction.
“See? That’s my Sophie I know,” Papa said. “Anyways, I will have her go to America no matter what. Education is the most important.”
Mama pondered over this for a while. Finally, she said, “You are right. Education should come first.” She heaved a sigh and continued, “Once in a while, I do wish I could read.”
After a weeklong wait, Papa came home with exuberant news. He announced it at dinnertime. He had earned enough money to send me to America. He would send me to the airport personally and watch me board the plane on July 25, which was a month away. He assured me that the time I would be spending on the plane would probably be the easiest part. “When you get off,” he said, “Uncle Victor will be waiting for you outside. I have sent him a picture of you, so he will recognize you when get off the plane.”
“Alright,” I replied. I barely knew about my Uncle Victor, but I have heard of him in family conversations.
That night and many nights afterwards, I thought of my trip, an adventure, the first one away from my family and childhood life. I would imagine what America looked like and how I would feel to be there. I also reflected on the thought of the strange faces I would see and the loneliness I would have to endure over the duration of the airplane trip. I also thought about the items I would be bringing on the trip. As the day of my departure neared, I frantically began packing my luggage, only to find that there were many items I needed and didn’t need. This led to a quandary that would often make me very annoyed and abandon my luggage, feeling frustrated and hopeless. One day, Mama sat next to me while I started packing again. She observed how I grew frustrated after a while. She calmly stated after a while, “Sophie, darling, why don’t you think and write down a list of required items? For example, your clothing, blankets, towels, and soap.”
“What a great idea! Now why didn’t I think of that before?”
Mama smiled as I dashed off to find a paper and pen. I quickly listed the basic items I had at the top of my head at that moment. Then, I ran off to fetch the items, stacked them next to my luggage, and check them off my list. Soon, I had a nice pile of paraphernalia that I would be bringing. The pile stopped growing a few days later. Instead, it shrunk in size as Mama gave me tips on what I probably could buy there and not bring.
Today was July 25, 1968. I was ecstatic as a rushed back and forth through the house, picking up items at the last minute. Papa finally calmed me down and I hugged and kissed Mama and Ben farewell. Papa drove me to the airport and we found the airplane I was riding. Before I stepped up onto the plane, I hugged and kissed Papa. I wished him a good harvest in the years to come. With a last wave, I walked up into the plane.
~End~
Good? Bad?