SO....
I got to visit Brandon last night and he was doing ok. He had a fever and was constantly on pain medication. And late last night after I left he ran a fever of 104. So now he has to stay another night. I am going crazy with out him here. I think I have decided to also use my journal to start my story im working on. Heather you should give me incite on what you think of it.
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As I stare out the window on the second floor of my Victorian house I wonder if it's worth it. Is it worth the hassle, is it worth all of the pain? Should I trust him? Can I trust him? He had been a part of my life for so long I don’t think I could be without him.
I longed to call him but I know I should clear my head before I confront him on what I'd heard. I've always had my suspicions, but should I tell him? What if I'm wrong? What if I'm just being paranoid. Maybe I should ask HER?
Her reputation doesn't make me doubt that it is true. But Jayden, could he do that to me? Lying has always been hard for him. He could never keep a surprise; and with every special occasion he had always let slip what my present was. I don’t know how he could keep something this big from me. I have to find out if its true. I need to know if he really loves me, if he ever really did.
The phone feels as if it weighs 1000 lbs. as i try to pick it up. My fingers shake as I attempt to dial his number. It takes me 4 tries to actually get the last number through. Dammit, voice mail. Why does he have his phone off? What can I do now; call his house, wait until our date tonight? No, I wont go out with him until I know. However, if I wait until tonight I can get him where I need him. He wont be able to lie to me. I will find out the truth, I'm done being lied to.
*************************
As I stare out the window on the second floor of my Victorian house I wonder if it's worth it. Is it worth the hassle, is it worth all of the pain? Should I trust him? Can I trust him? He had been a part of my life for so long I don’t think I could be without him.
I longed to call him but I know I should clear my head before I confront him on what I'd heard. I've always had my suspicions, but should I tell him? What if I'm wrong? What if I'm just being paranoid. Maybe I should ask HER?
Her reputation doesn't make me doubt that it is true. But Jayden, could he do that to me? Lying has always been hard for him. He could never keep a surprise; and with every special occasion he had always let slip what my present was. I don’t know how he could keep something this big from me. I have to find out if its true. I need to know if he really loves me, if he ever really did.
The phone feels as if it weighs 1000 lbs. as i try to pick it up. My fingers shake as I attempt to dial his number. It takes me 4 tries to actually get the last number through. Dammit, voice mail. Why does he have his phone off? What can I do now; call his house, wait until our date tonight? No, I wont go out with him until I know. However, if I wait until tonight I can get him where I need him. He wont be able to lie to me. I will find out the truth, I'm done being lied to.