so strange
Yesterday I decided to end it with eric. Eventhough we arent in the same place and it doesnt really feel like we are over I couldnt handle it anymore. He constintly hurt me and knew it and never changed. It has been happening for so long. He never cared to talk to me and now that I broke up with him he is constantly trying to talk to me and always sounds really upbeat, as if nothing is wrong and he is going to fix it with one phone call. I dont know what I feel right now. I feel numb and dead actually. People would think that I would be drinking, that I would be a mess, that I would be constantly crying. But I'm not. I'm not doing anything. It is strange...I dont know if I felt broken up or not. I still love him but he just hurt me so much. And I dont know what to do because he is coming here tomorrow and then we are going to Punta Cana in a week. I dont know what to do about it. I cant just let it all fall back to where it was. I just cant. I hate this and I dont know what else to say because I dont feel anything. I feel really depressed and have for awhile and I always think that I am just covering it up or that it really isnt that bad. I just want to go home and cry in my mom's lap... And Im not sad. Im pissed, I'm aggrivated and angry. I'm so mad at him.