i hope ur as happy as ur pretending
i hate north carolina. my life sucks, everything is starting to crumble, Everything is just so different down here, the people, the places, everything. i cant take much more of it. i am raising a child on my own working full time, trying to remain sane and its just not working, the south is just not working out. im seriously considering going back up north. no one gets me. i feel like an outsider looking in on this world that i just dont understand. i dont know what to do. i cant handle much more without having a nervous breakdown and no one seems to care. i try and talk about it and most of the time the response i get is "everyone has problems" yah thats true, but shouldnt you try to make people feel better anyway?
Today i woke up, got in the shower and starting bawling my eyes out, for no reason, i couldnt breathe...i felt like i was havaing an anxiety attack, so i finsihed getting ready and walked upstairs still hysterical and my mother just tried to console me and gave me a xanex to calm down b4 i had to go to work. then i got to work and the girls there starting picking on me saying that i should have ironed my shirt bc it was wrinkled, so that embarassed me in front of about 15 people, then my boss decides that today is a good day to yell at me for something i did like two months ago. ugh and all this was b4 8:30. needless to say i was pretty upset. but thankfully this kid i work with antwan noticed that i was upset and sat and talked to me for like 15 minutes and calmed me down.
im just a mess, i really am. i hate that i have to do this alone, i hate that Tarsi is up in CT rolling, drinking, smoking, and for any of you CT assholes who read this and are like "oh fuck her" well just so u know that mother fucker hasnt even called once to check on his little boy. thats fucked up. i am broke as fuck, scraping pennies for gas, i havent slept in forever all i do is work and take care of him and that fat fuck is up there enjoying his life. well good for you,enjoy it while you can bc i believe in karma and you are FUCKED when it comes back around.
ughhhhhh
i hate crying
i feel weak
im not weak
i have to keep my head up
push through
prove everyone wrong
but how?
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around
the block brothas clown a lot
But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don't forget,
girl keep your head up
And when he tells you
you ain't nuttin don't believe him
And if he can't learn to love you you
should leave him
Cause sista you don't need him
And I ain't tryin to gas ya up,
I just call em how I see em
You know it makes me unhappy (what's that)
When brothas make babies,
and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get upI know you're fed up ladies,
but keep your head up
Today i woke up, got in the shower and starting bawling my eyes out, for no reason, i couldnt breathe...i felt like i was havaing an anxiety attack, so i finsihed getting ready and walked upstairs still hysterical and my mother just tried to console me and gave me a xanex to calm down b4 i had to go to work. then i got to work and the girls there starting picking on me saying that i should have ironed my shirt bc it was wrinkled, so that embarassed me in front of about 15 people, then my boss decides that today is a good day to yell at me for something i did like two months ago. ugh and all this was b4 8:30. needless to say i was pretty upset. but thankfully this kid i work with antwan noticed that i was upset and sat and talked to me for like 15 minutes and calmed me down.
im just a mess, i really am. i hate that i have to do this alone, i hate that Tarsi is up in CT rolling, drinking, smoking, and for any of you CT assholes who read this and are like "oh fuck her" well just so u know that mother fucker hasnt even called once to check on his little boy. thats fucked up. i am broke as fuck, scraping pennies for gas, i havent slept in forever all i do is work and take care of him and that fat fuck is up there enjoying his life. well good for you,enjoy it while you can bc i believe in karma and you are FUCKED when it comes back around.
ughhhhhh
i hate crying
i feel weak
im not weak
i have to keep my head up
push through
prove everyone wrong
but how?
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around
the block brothas clown a lot
But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don't forget,
girl keep your head up
And when he tells you
you ain't nuttin don't believe him
And if he can't learn to love you you
should leave him
Cause sista you don't need him
And I ain't tryin to gas ya up,
I just call em how I see em
You know it makes me unhappy (what's that)
When brothas make babies,
and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get upI know you're fed up ladies,
but keep your head up