scared as fcuk.
well, i havent updated in a while..
as of now i am living with my boyfriend..if you can call him that. he says that we are and such..but i dont even really know anymore. UGH i hate the race of men and how much confusion they bring to my life when they are in them. why cant all men be like my boys? just relax and drink some beers and such then go out clubbing and pretty much let that be all? well, obviously not all since i am prolly one of the most romantic people ever...and rory doesnt know that and doesnt know how disappointed with our relationship i am since we never talk about it and since he pretty much avoids all convos that involve feelings and what they mean and how we feel. that's why for valentines day all i want is some of my fav flowers and for him to tell me how he actually feels about me, and about "us". is that too much to ask? i think not. since he never does anything..did i mention that i never got a christmas prezzie? and my call on christmas day from his parents house came at 11:45pm!? yeah..i know that he has done nice things, and letting me move in was a HUGE gesture and such...but come on! im an 18 year old girl..i need affection to be shown. not showered, but shown.
other than that..he actually had to bring me to the hospital the other day for coughing up blood..i have a bacterial thing in my throat and while i was there i had to be put in isolation since i had some "airborn" something rather. but as of now im ok and am going to see hilary duff tonight with my sissy who i love and miss, and then i am possibly going out clubbing tomorrow night and then i have plans with nate for next friday to go to the casino.
my life is doing ok...i just want my boyfriend to smarten up and stop being such a stubborn ass. aka like me. well not really..im not one to keep how i feel locked up, even though i am now since i hate being the one to spill how i feel. boys should do that, and girls either let them down or jump into their arms and kiss them. that is they way it has worked and that is the way i want to keep it. i dont care that we are in a new age or anything. have you seen what has happened to new age couples? they split up. and i dont want that. im getting married only once, and i want that to last forever aka until i die. but i can fall in love more than once..and it's scaring me because i think i finally have...for real...and im really scared that he doesnt love me back...and never will...
as of now i am living with my boyfriend..if you can call him that. he says that we are and such..but i dont even really know anymore. UGH i hate the race of men and how much confusion they bring to my life when they are in them. why cant all men be like my boys? just relax and drink some beers and such then go out clubbing and pretty much let that be all? well, obviously not all since i am prolly one of the most romantic people ever...and rory doesnt know that and doesnt know how disappointed with our relationship i am since we never talk about it and since he pretty much avoids all convos that involve feelings and what they mean and how we feel. that's why for valentines day all i want is some of my fav flowers and for him to tell me how he actually feels about me, and about "us". is that too much to ask? i think not. since he never does anything..did i mention that i never got a christmas prezzie? and my call on christmas day from his parents house came at 11:45pm!? yeah..i know that he has done nice things, and letting me move in was a HUGE gesture and such...but come on! im an 18 year old girl..i need affection to be shown. not showered, but shown.
other than that..he actually had to bring me to the hospital the other day for coughing up blood..i have a bacterial thing in my throat and while i was there i had to be put in isolation since i had some "airborn" something rather. but as of now im ok and am going to see hilary duff tonight with my sissy who i love and miss, and then i am possibly going out clubbing tomorrow night and then i have plans with nate for next friday to go to the casino.
my life is doing ok...i just want my boyfriend to smarten up and stop being such a stubborn ass. aka like me. well not really..im not one to keep how i feel locked up, even though i am now since i hate being the one to spill how i feel. boys should do that, and girls either let them down or jump into their arms and kiss them. that is they way it has worked and that is the way i want to keep it. i dont care that we are in a new age or anything. have you seen what has happened to new age couples? they split up. and i dont want that. im getting married only once, and i want that to last forever aka until i die. but i can fall in love more than once..and it's scaring me because i think i finally have...for real...and im really scared that he doesnt love me back...and never will...