(no subject)
i used to pride myself on not being self consious on not caring what other people thought of me of loving my body and my self well its not true completely why couldnt i go swimming like the rest of the girls what the fuck is wrong with me i hate my body i know thats true its not that i care what other people think its what i think of myself and i dont know how to cure myself of this disease it didnt help that he was there him the one person i'm in love with who i cant have and he keeps me from loving anyone else and i just want him to go away but he wont go away and i care too much about him to just push him away only three more weeks left of school and then i can go back home and bury myself in work and not have to hang out with anyone thank god.