Starting EMDR interview
I started today and I saw Chris Wade, she is a level 2 and does the EMDR and I was referred to her by the IOP director. I don't know much about it but I guess I will soon find out. I am currently going to Parkwood IOP. It is a program that meets Monday, Tuesday and Thursday nights from 5:30 to 8:30 Pm. It has helped my depression somewhat. I enjoy going and am glad that I am attending. Lately I have been having flashbacks of people that have died and etc... It is rough, ya know sometimes you have to be there for people and be strong and then there comes a time that I can't be strong anymore. I guess maybe that time is now, because I can't quit thinking of the recent losses in my life. I have lost my aunt, grandma, step-dad, uncle, and a dear online friend that was very special to me. I still think about talking to her very often. I was the one that had to tell my mom of her sister's death and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and to sit there and watch her grieve. I guess that is one thing I wish I would have never had to do. Actually a friend was with me and I started crying a little and then my friend told her. It was really tough, because she was in the hospital with her husband at the time. He was suffring from mini-strokes. I guess thats all I have for now.
Well yesterday evening Glen and I went to my moms since we had 2 hours to kill before aftercare in Olive Branch. Well we got there and she was doing fine at first. Then she started working herself up and saying that she had palpitations yesterday and didn't want to stay by herself. She asked me if I would stay the night with her and I told her I didn't have my sleep apnea machine. She started telling me that I was just making excuses and that I didn't care about her. She then through this crying fit and just made me feel even worse. I recommended an antidepressant and thought that would be helpful. Well she then told me that she didn't want to be like me. I asked her so that means I am bad right? I then said what is like me anyway? She said taking all my meds and enlarged pupils. I thought damn she has lost her mind. She then boo hoo's and tells me how depressed she is and then I finally after being worn down, tell her that I will stay the night with her and just go without my sleep apnea machine. She was still throwing a fit and telling me all kinds of shit about moving to FL
Well yesterday evening Glen and I went to my moms since we had 2 hours to kill before aftercare in Olive Branch. Well we got there and she was doing fine at first. Then she started working herself up and saying that she had palpitations yesterday and didn't want to stay by herself. She asked me if I would stay the night with her and I told her I didn't have my sleep apnea machine. She started telling me that I was just making excuses and that I didn't care about her. She then through this crying fit and just made me feel even worse. I recommended an antidepressant and thought that would be helpful. Well she then told me that she didn't want to be like me. I asked her so that means I am bad right? I then said what is like me anyway? She said taking all my meds and enlarged pupils. I thought damn she has lost her mind. She then boo hoo's and tells me how depressed she is and then I finally after being worn down, tell her that I will stay the night with her and just go without my sleep apnea machine. She was still throwing a fit and telling me all kinds of shit about moving to FL