Thirty Eight
So here is one of the main reasons I'm still single: Older men LOVE me! A ten-plus age difference and we're set. I can have my pick.
And man, have I heard them all. "My wife doesn't understand me." "My wife won't mind." "My wife doesn't need to know." It's like I'm running around with this big honkin' sign saying, "The Other Woman." These guys have the audicity to just assume that I'm interested. Man, would I love to pinpoint whatever gives them that idea. Not to mention the dent they all leave in my already shaky belief in marriage.
Worst scenario ever was when my (clearly delusional) Italian uncle at the tender age of 65 made a pass at me at my mother's birthday. I catered, and boy is it true about the way to a man's heart. It took me days to shed the ick-factor.
The strangest thing in all of this is the number 38. I don't know what it is, but for years I've had this streak of interested guys who were all 38. My ex-boyfriend? 38. We started dating when I was 23 so this 38-curse has been going on for at least 5 years, and I remember it occurring even before him. Every time I meet someone new and we start talking about age, they end up saying "thirty-eight" and I say "of course you are."
Don't get me wrong. I'm not some age-fascist. Ever since my fiasco with my ex I've been a bit on the defense when it comes to big age differences, but I'm the first to overlook it if there's a spark. I would say, "beggers can't be choosers," but the desperation isn't even close to reaching that level yet.
The biggest crush I ever had I met when he was 38. So you see, it does go both ways every now and then. Of course he was a married man, and one of the good ones, so nothing ever happened. I probably wouldn't fancy him as much if he had caved. I don't see him any more, but I still miss him so much it hurts. Which is really quite ridiculous, because we never went beyond furtive smiles and short exchanges.
My only consolation is that at least one day I'll catch up. I just hope this isn't some big cosmic hint that I'll have to wait that long to find The One.