The talk with Sven
I get a little confused whenever I'm around Sven as to why it is it's so important that I tell him about B. I realize that it is, but once I'm around him, everything else just kinda fades into the background and becomes delightfully irrelevant. After a quick peptalk with heartandcore the other night (thanks, girl!), I finally got my act together, though.
I knew ( Read more... )
No, *you're* awesome. Thank you for understanding. I feel really good about this decision. Sven is a good man, and he's perfect for me.
And yes, I hope I don't get confused all over again when B returns. But honestly, his way of conducting his life fiscally terrifies me. I'm not the most responsible person in the world, and I have a very organic approach to money, but I'd very much prefer not to be broke for the rest of my life. I'd very much prefer not to have to repay someone else's debt as well, or be the kill-joy who limits his enthusiasm, or sit at home every night because he can't afford to take me out. Sure, it can be romantic to make do on a budget, but B has no imagination when it's not grand, expensive gestures.
Another thing I realized, as I was taking a rather long bike ride today, is that Sven has a positive approach to life, while B is prone to pessimism, even melancholy and bouts of anger or frustration. This didn't sit well with me ever, but those are things you overlook when you're enamoured. However, in a life partner, I very much prefer supplementing as opposed to contradistinction in this particular issue, especially considering how hard I've fought for my own outlook.
It's the day I realized that the only thing Sven *didn't* have going for him was the fact that he wasn't B, that I started to truly realize what I had.
B still smells right. I'll miss his smell forever; it was truly intoxicating. But as a whole - I would be so stupid to let Sven go. If I'd never met B, I would be out of this world for Sven. And if I *hadn't* met B, I might not have even considered hooking Sven, so I consider myself very, very privileged to have had the choice between two gorgeous, sexy, intelligent and swoon-worthy men.
And choosing the one who has a future does not make him any less of the above.
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