Death and friends and neighbors.
Last night was the goodbye-for-now dinner for my sweet 'husband' Alex. He's going to England to write his thesis while in the loving arms of his adorable girlfriend Lorna. It's actually been forever since he and I hung out on a somewhat regular basis, but it's still strange to think that now we can't, even if we did make time and effort. But it's going to be wonderful for him, and it's not like we won't be in touch online. As per usual.
Last Saturday I went to a block party. My building and our neighboring building come together once a year, erect a tent and cook a pig. Very classy. :) It's alright, most people are pretty nice, and it's interesting to meet new neighbors. Not that we mingle all that much, really, but I think most of the people from my building were somewhat scarred from last year's experience, in which the other building had apparently started celebrating around noon and was therefore stumbling drunk by the time dinner rolled around. While perceiving it as a social experiment made it somewhat amusing to observe, the nagging thought "what am I doing here with these *freaks*?" took something away from the experience. They were somewhat more subdued (and by that I mean sober) this year, and the experience was more pleasing than feared. I even had a friend from work show up.
D42 (He's graduated from D41. The nickname still works, since he's now version 2.0, and also because he's since turned 42. Heh.) is still around. I see him pretty much every Sunday where we proceed to have loud and enthusiastic sex. He's being evicted from the apartment he's subletting and is jokingly blaming me. Seriously, it's no big deal. He's in the market to buy and he has until November 1st, so it's not a crisis. I feel like we've hit somewhat of a stalemate lately, though. Nothing really happens, nothing moves forward. It's partly my own fault; I'm ambivalent about his situation and about what I want from him, and therefore I'm not taking any initiative. On the other hand, I'm not exactly known for my patience and I feel myself growing bored. I need to start making some decisions, but key factors in making those decisions are out of my hands, such as meeting his kids. On the other hand, if it comes down to rejecting the relationship once and for all, it's easier to reject the man on his merits alone and not his whole family. The fact that he's been trapped in limbo for the past 2 years - taking turns living in an unsold house for the sake of the kids and the other half of the time in some sublet dump in Depression Central, makes him at best a fragmented person to know. I like him better now that he seems more resolved regarding his former marriage, but I have a feeling it'll be years before I see the whole person. My decision for now is this: If something better comes along, I'm taking it.
My downstairs neighbor died. Finally. She was a mean and crazy old coot and I doubt very much anyone will miss her. She died quietly in her chair sometime last Wednesday or Thursday. Family members found her on Thursday afternoon. We had all expected more of a ruckus when she finally decided to make her exit, a "die like you lived", kind of thing, but that's an enviable end for sure. Someone, who shall remain nameless, even ventured that it was somewhat undeserved, considering. I realize it's bad form to talk ill of the dead, but I would argue that it's even worse form to change my tone just because she is no more. Her family moved out all her stuff on Sunday, so that somewhat alludes to the fact that they too just want to move on and forget the whole thing. I do feel bad for her, that she ended up so malignant. I don't think anyone goes through life, hoping to lose one's mind and good sense and become someone people grin and bear, but quietly despise. Someone who, whenever you have a problem, people simply roll their eyes at and think, "there she goes again." Someone your family only visits because it's the polite thing to do. But now she's gone and I can make as much noise as I want. I've been trying on shoes and stomping back and forth from closet to mirror. I don't have to worry about taking my shoes off or tiptopeing around in search of my phone or keys when I'm going out the door. I can move around in my bedroom after 8pm without hearing the loud griping and banging on pipes from downstairs. It's liberating. It'll be interesting to see what my new neighbors will be like. Hopefully I'll get a few months of some serious cavorting before someone moves in.
I got sick for my second shot at the exam I didn't take because of my dental surgery. I got sick for my sick exam. Super, huh? Now I have to wait till next summer to take it, but I don't really mind.
I'm reading everything Neil Gaiman ever wrote and I'm loving his every word. Slightly mystified by his short story collection Smoke and Mirrors at the moment, but novels have always been more my thing. American Gods rocked my world, but Neverwhere is my favorite so far.
Hopefully next update will be slightly more riveting.
Last Saturday I went to a block party. My building and our neighboring building come together once a year, erect a tent and cook a pig. Very classy. :) It's alright, most people are pretty nice, and it's interesting to meet new neighbors. Not that we mingle all that much, really, but I think most of the people from my building were somewhat scarred from last year's experience, in which the other building had apparently started celebrating around noon and was therefore stumbling drunk by the time dinner rolled around. While perceiving it as a social experiment made it somewhat amusing to observe, the nagging thought "what am I doing here with these *freaks*?" took something away from the experience. They were somewhat more subdued (and by that I mean sober) this year, and the experience was more pleasing than feared. I even had a friend from work show up.
D42 (He's graduated from D41. The nickname still works, since he's now version 2.0, and also because he's since turned 42. Heh.) is still around. I see him pretty much every Sunday where we proceed to have loud and enthusiastic sex. He's being evicted from the apartment he's subletting and is jokingly blaming me. Seriously, it's no big deal. He's in the market to buy and he has until November 1st, so it's not a crisis. I feel like we've hit somewhat of a stalemate lately, though. Nothing really happens, nothing moves forward. It's partly my own fault; I'm ambivalent about his situation and about what I want from him, and therefore I'm not taking any initiative. On the other hand, I'm not exactly known for my patience and I feel myself growing bored. I need to start making some decisions, but key factors in making those decisions are out of my hands, such as meeting his kids. On the other hand, if it comes down to rejecting the relationship once and for all, it's easier to reject the man on his merits alone and not his whole family. The fact that he's been trapped in limbo for the past 2 years - taking turns living in an unsold house for the sake of the kids and the other half of the time in some sublet dump in Depression Central, makes him at best a fragmented person to know. I like him better now that he seems more resolved regarding his former marriage, but I have a feeling it'll be years before I see the whole person. My decision for now is this: If something better comes along, I'm taking it.
My downstairs neighbor died. Finally. She was a mean and crazy old coot and I doubt very much anyone will miss her. She died quietly in her chair sometime last Wednesday or Thursday. Family members found her on Thursday afternoon. We had all expected more of a ruckus when she finally decided to make her exit, a "die like you lived", kind of thing, but that's an enviable end for sure. Someone, who shall remain nameless, even ventured that it was somewhat undeserved, considering. I realize it's bad form to talk ill of the dead, but I would argue that it's even worse form to change my tone just because she is no more. Her family moved out all her stuff on Sunday, so that somewhat alludes to the fact that they too just want to move on and forget the whole thing. I do feel bad for her, that she ended up so malignant. I don't think anyone goes through life, hoping to lose one's mind and good sense and become someone people grin and bear, but quietly despise. Someone who, whenever you have a problem, people simply roll their eyes at and think, "there she goes again." Someone your family only visits because it's the polite thing to do. But now she's gone and I can make as much noise as I want. I've been trying on shoes and stomping back and forth from closet to mirror. I don't have to worry about taking my shoes off or tiptopeing around in search of my phone or keys when I'm going out the door. I can move around in my bedroom after 8pm without hearing the loud griping and banging on pipes from downstairs. It's liberating. It'll be interesting to see what my new neighbors will be like. Hopefully I'll get a few months of some serious cavorting before someone moves in.
I got sick for my second shot at the exam I didn't take because of my dental surgery. I got sick for my sick exam. Super, huh? Now I have to wait till next summer to take it, but I don't really mind.
I'm reading everything Neil Gaiman ever wrote and I'm loving his every word. Slightly mystified by his short story collection Smoke and Mirrors at the moment, but novels have always been more my thing. American Gods rocked my world, but Neverwhere is my favorite so far.
Hopefully next update will be slightly more riveting.