On the merits of asking
I am on a cooking spree bonanza! Feels good though, it's nice to get back in the kitchen.
We were having a few beers celebrating my friend Mads who turned 30 the other day. He's throwing a party on Saturday, and I was just minding my own business when I suddenly heard the words, "I assume I'll be doing the cooking?" fall from my lips. Whu? My somewhat rhetorical question was met with gratitude and appreciation, but really, wouldn't it be more gratifying somehow to wait to be asked? Now I'm helping, AND feeling kind of guilty for forcing my help on him... Oh well. If he preferred to do it himself, he would've told me so. We're like that.
My neighbor asked me to help with his birthday dinner and I almost had a heart attack when he did, as did his girlfriend when I told her. I believe it was an unprecedented occurence. It made me think, because I truly - TRULY - suck at asking for help too. And now that I've experienced that warm fuzzy feeling of being asked, I have a hard time seeing why. It's not like Klaus asking me made me think any less of him. Quite the contrary, actually. So why AREN'T we better at asking?
For my birthday, I was lugging 2 cases of beer, 2 boxes of wine and 2 boxes of groceries from the car to my apartment by installments because I have a really long walkway, and my arms were almost falling off with the strain. The closest I came to asking for help was when Klaus stuck his head out the window and I in a slightly miffed voice said, "You're welcome to come help me!" which is basically my version of "Don't just stand there..!" To my defense, I'd been struggling against time and stupid people and long lines for the better part of an hour and I was feling a little stressed. But it would have been so much nicer for both of us if I'd said, "I'm SO glad you're home. Please come help me with this, I'm killing myself here."
So I'm going to work on that. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I do believe in incrementally trying to make yourself a better person every day. Besides, what good is a bitchy attitude if I only take it out on the undeserving?
We were having a few beers celebrating my friend Mads who turned 30 the other day. He's throwing a party on Saturday, and I was just minding my own business when I suddenly heard the words, "I assume I'll be doing the cooking?" fall from my lips. Whu? My somewhat rhetorical question was met with gratitude and appreciation, but really, wouldn't it be more gratifying somehow to wait to be asked? Now I'm helping, AND feeling kind of guilty for forcing my help on him... Oh well. If he preferred to do it himself, he would've told me so. We're like that.
My neighbor asked me to help with his birthday dinner and I almost had a heart attack when he did, as did his girlfriend when I told her. I believe it was an unprecedented occurence. It made me think, because I truly - TRULY - suck at asking for help too. And now that I've experienced that warm fuzzy feeling of being asked, I have a hard time seeing why. It's not like Klaus asking me made me think any less of him. Quite the contrary, actually. So why AREN'T we better at asking?
For my birthday, I was lugging 2 cases of beer, 2 boxes of wine and 2 boxes of groceries from the car to my apartment by installments because I have a really long walkway, and my arms were almost falling off with the strain. The closest I came to asking for help was when Klaus stuck his head out the window and I in a slightly miffed voice said, "You're welcome to come help me!" which is basically my version of "Don't just stand there..!" To my defense, I'd been struggling against time and stupid people and long lines for the better part of an hour and I was feling a little stressed. But it would have been so much nicer for both of us if I'd said, "I'm SO glad you're home. Please come help me with this, I'm killing myself here."
So I'm going to work on that. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I do believe in incrementally trying to make yourself a better person every day. Besides, what good is a bitchy attitude if I only take it out on the undeserving?