Title: What’s Left To Do
Author:
tinkabell007Rating: PG13
Words: 800
Character: Sam, Dean
Warning: None - unless angst counts! B/c there’s plenty.
Spoiler: 3x16!! (Don’t read if you haven’t seen the episode)
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing’s mine. I just love playing with them.
Huge thank yous to
violetknights for the beta!!!! :-)
Summary: Posted behind the cut b/c it’s spoilery!
Summary: He was dead. Gone. The body was already cooling, eyes frozen with the stare of a scared man, shimmering with tears and unbearable pain.
His body was still warm, his skin soft... almost pulsating with life. But it didn’t. It was all fake. There was no life left. No rushing of blood through his veins, no lifting of his chest to indicate his breathing. He was dead. Gone. The body was already cooling, eyes frozen with the stare of a scared man, shimmering with tears and unbearable pain. The always full of joy expression and strong green of his eyes were now turned into grey. Dull, with no future and no hope.
Hope. That’s all they had had left. And that’s all that got stripped away from them. Until the end Sam thought that he would be able to save Dean, to - somehow - get him out of this deal. It was his fucking job as a brother. And after all, who had even set this magical unwritten rule that only older brothers were allowed to look out for the younger ones? Dean was everything he had; every family that was left. And vice versa.
When it came to the point, Dean did everything in his power to save Sam - even when it meant to sacrifice his own soul; his own being… his own humanity. And now? Sam was not able to pay him back for that. He had failed; he let him down, he let him die. And he was the reason why Dean went to hell. He was responsible for this.
No, Sam wouldn’t allow that, he couldn't allow that. He might have reacted too slowly when it really counted. Might have waited too long. But the waiting was over and he knew that there was only one thing left to do.
____
The rigid body of his dead brother still lay on the bed - in the same position as he’d put him there three days ago. Since that day, Sam never slept, never ate. All he did was researching. Studying book after book, document after document. He knew exactly what needed to be done… and finally, just an hour ago, the searching paid off.
The heavy book was lying open on the table. Its pages all brown stained and ripped, indicating its antiquity. Sam was focused on the ritual. He had absorbed every word, over and over and over again until he had everything memorized. Knew everything by heart.
It was time, he knew it was time and even if it would be the last thing he did, he would get his brother back. He needed to get his brother back.
Sam stepped closer to Dean’s bed - his death bed - and stared down. Again, the images of Dean fighting a lost battle, squirming in blood and pain were ghosting their way through his mind. The memory would haunt him for eternity. But he was certain that he’d be able carry it, because he knew that he could fix this. Erase all the mistakes he had made in the past.
Slowly he reached out and cupped Dean’s face. His skin was ice cold, the softness all gone. "I’ll bring you back," he whispered as if Dean could hear him. But Dean was beyond hearing, beyond feeling and in the end the words were only meant for Sam. To reassure himself that he was doing the right thing - and to stop the flood of tears that were already lurking in the corner of his eyes again. One more time, his gaze fell to Dean’s closed eyes and the now peaceful expression of his face.
Sam drew his hand away and turned around. He grabbed the duffle back that was carelessly lying on a chair and headed for the door.
He didn’t turn around, he didn’t try to look back at his brother. He knew that the next time he looked at Dean, his older brother would be staring back at him, catching his glance, his eyes full of life again.
But first Sam needed to do something. He headed into the nearby woods to perform the ritual. As he found the perfect spot, he stopped and dropped the bag on the ground, immediately putting all the ingredients into place, not hesitating for a second, not doubting his plan.
As he was all set up he closed his eyes and drew in a heavy breath. Maybe it would be his last breath on this existing earth. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care. Right now he was the brother in charge and it was his turn so save and protect his family.
Sam opened his eyes again. The shimmer of the full moon was dancing over his now deeply black eyes, his lips drawn tightly, almost painfully, to a thin line. It was time and the moment has finally arrived.
The moment to bring Dean back to this earth - the moment he’d be opening the door to hell to step down by himself and get his brother back.
-fin